FMLs submitted from United Kingdom

Today, I took a 40 minute bus ride home from work. The first 20 minutes were spent listening to the drunk man behind me moan uncontrollably and belch. The last 20 minutes were spent trying to ignore the vomit he left on my back as he got up to leave. FML

by eewww / 05/06/2011 at 11:47am / United Kingdom / Transportation

Today, I discovered that my new boyfriend is the type of guy who, when there is a conflict, will just scream "I LOVE YOU" over and over hoping that it will solve itself instead of actually trying to work the problem out. FML

by sad / 05/05/2011 at 10:40am / United Kingdom (Somerset) / Love

Today, my garage was flooded. Everything was ruined. My garage also happens to be my study, in which my entire art coursework was drying. My exam is tomorrow and all I have to hand in is a pile of mushy paper. FML

by lottielondon / 05/04/2011 at 9:47am / United Kingdom (London) / Work

Today, I came across an old man sitting on the pavement with a bottle of beer in one hand. He was crying. I thought I would be a good Samaritan and see if he was okay. After 15 minutes of hearing about how much his life sucked, he mugged me. FML

by kimftwxox / 05/02/2011 at 10:24pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents woke me up by pouring a glass of freezing cold water over my head. Their reason? They were 'bored'. FML

by missmirror / 05/02/2011 at 7:00pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, at the age of 17, I had my first kiss with the girl I've liked for over a year. However, it was a stage kiss and the girl has made it clear that she finds me repulsive. FML

by Username / 04/30/2011 at 4:51am / United Kingdom (London) / Love

Today, I found myself crying for an hour when my recreated crush on The Sims 3 game rejected my character and ran off with someone else. FML

by Nxydolli / 04/29/2011 at 3:34pm / United Kingdom (Durham) / Geek

Today, a little girl wandered into the glass-cleaning area of the pub I work at. It's a dangerous place for a little kid, so I took her hand and asked where her mum was. The kid starts screaming and the mother appears in the doorway shouting "GET AWAY FROM MY BABY!" FML

by srsly_what / 04/28/2011 at 7:13pm / United Kingdom (North Yorkshire) / Work

Today, while waiting on tables at work, I was carrying a glass of red wine when I lost balance and spilt it everywhere. After cleaning the floor and myself up and after refilling a new glass, I did exactly the same thing again. FML

by tryandtryagain / 04/28/2011 at 12:04am / United Kingdom / Work

Today, my girlfriend kindly let me know that she didn't care that I am 'below average' in the penis department because it will leave her nice and tight for her next boyfriend. FML

by Anonymous / 04/27/2011 at 12:21pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, a kid with severe Down's came into my workplace, as he does every day. He's has an obsession with me, sitting at a table, staring and taking photos of me all day. His parents have no problem with this, because they think it's a miracle that he can focus so much attention on me for so long. FML

by notimpressed / 04/26/2011 at 3:25pm / United Kingdom (East Sussex) / Miscellaneous

Today, I lied to my diary about my weight. FML

by Anonymous / 04/26/2011 at 9:56am / United Kingdom (London) / Health

Today, the ex-girlfriend I'm still in love with sent me an old picture with the caption, "I miss us." She looked beautiful and happy. Too bad I'm not the guy she's kissing in the picture. FML

by SadGuy / 04/26/2011 at 2:18am / United Kingdom / Love