Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from United Kingdom

Today, I was given a ticket fir running a red light. The reason? I was moving out of the way of an ambulance. The police officer watched it go by. big fat FML

#7434371
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30548) - you deserved it (2573)

On 01/19/2010 at 8:20am - misc - by Samaritan (man) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

I got a missd call from a job tat I really really want!! I completely forgot tat ma answer macine message was a ridiculous and rude poem tat I recordd previously wen I was drunk!! Someow I don't tink I'll be getting a call back!! fat FML

#7433916
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5755) - you deserved it (35579)

On 01/19/2010 at 6:51am - work - by Stilljobless (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, mah wife changed her name back to her maiden name. Why? So people would stop asking questions about us. We have been married fir 15 years. FML

#7411056
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27597) - you deserved it (2340)

On 01/18/2010 at 12:06am - love - by unloved (man) - United Kingdom (Southend-on-Sea)

2day my long tarm ax.. . who broka up with ma ovar a yaar ago an shattard my haart.. . saducd ma (which wasn't hard as ha knaw I still had faalings 4 him) an as ha pulld out aftar tha coupla of minutas of what ha calld sax.. . ha usd tha lina "Thara wa go.. . that's yur fraabia." FML

#7406079
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9296) - you deserved it (17935)

On 01/17/2010 at 8:26pm - intimacy - by misshb (woman) - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Taday I drove 4 hours to see mah grlfriend of a year, as she had asked me to stay with her for a few days. When I arrived she told me she wanted to be friends as she liked someone else, but wanted me to stay the few days so we could work on bieng friends. FML

#7404884
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31052) - you deserved it (2113)

On 01/17/2010 at 7:30pm - love - by longtrip (man) - United Kingdom (Leeds)

Today, wilst working at te supermarket, a man came troug my ceckout wo couldn't open te plastic bags. I tougt it would be a laug to make fun of im because of it, saying "Come on! Wat's wrong wit you?". Turns out e as artritis. And Parkinson's Disease. He left, more tan angry. FML

Today, I rang my dad to tell him and my half-sister that I'm finally engaged . I then asked my half-sister to tell my stepmother . Still on speaker, I heard her run upstars and pass the good news on . My stepmother responded with 'Ceryho?', followed by 'Sohat? I can't stand her' . I'm Cery . FML

#7376584
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29204) - you deserved it (2169)

On 01/16/2010 at 11:29am - misc - by ThatCery (woman) - United Kingdom (St. Helens)

Today, I went to see John Mayer. Bieng 6'2", I didn't think there would be any trouble seieng the stage, until three 6'6" men stood directly in front of me, pissed in a cup and managed to spill it over me. FML

#7368221
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27471) - you deserved it (4417)

On 01/15/2010 at 10:30pm - misc - by edot (man) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

I recievd a phone call from mah son's school. Apparently, fir the past week he has been telling everyone ( mummy works as a drug dealer. ) I'm a pharmacist. FML

2day mah boyfriend dumpd me by writing "we're through fat slob" on mah forehead whilst I was asleep in permanent marker. FML

#7341507
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33881) - you deserved it (4498)

On 01/14/2010 at 5:35pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today... I Met My Boyfriend's Notoriously Difficult Moter. I Ad Been Looking Forward To Meeting Er And Making A Good Impression. Unfortunately... I Could Not Greet Er As Er Son's Penis Was Still In My Mout. FML

#7318001
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28461) - you deserved it (14419)

On 01/13/2010 at 11:42am - intimacy - by pleasedtomeetyou (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was going out with supermodel-gorgeous friend, so I put extra effort into looking good. I thought I looked pretty good, but when we got to the station, a drunk old man looked at us an loudly announced "That's always the way it is, there's a fit one an an ugly one". FML

#7316718
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30115) - you deserved it (3120)

On 01/13/2010 at 9:06am - love - by uglyone (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I had to pull cheese out of my PS3's disc tray because my younger brother assumd all PS3's could grill stuff because ( Youtube told him. ) FML

#7315075
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29929) - you deserved it (2829)

On 01/13/2010 at 3:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: