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FMLs submitted from United Kingdom

Today, I arranged the food on my plate in a smiley face to try and make myself feel better. I'm a 38 year old man. It worked. FML

#6186259
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29057) - you deserved it (5310)

On 11/06/2009 at 7:32pm - misc - by Anon (man) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, my parents, who are divorced, were arguing over who has to pay for my bus pass. They decided they wouldn't pay unless the other one did too. Neither will pay the £60 it'll cost for my bus pass. I now have to walk to school every day, in freezing winter weather. It's 9 miles. Each way. FML

#6151946
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41940) - you deserved it (3614)

On 11/04/2009 at 3:00pm - misc - by Walker (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I was on web cam to my girlfriend who was naked. She turned the web cam to point to the screen for a second and she was also on web cam with another guy. FML

#6151203
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23145) - you deserved it (2675)

On 11/04/2009 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by angry (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, my son thought he'd take my new car for a drive without permission. He accelerated straight into a tree, reversed into a lamppost and then accelerated again into the neighbours car. FML

#6147430
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33713) - you deserved it (4154)

On 11/04/2009 at 3:44am - misc - by ishouldhidethekeys (woman) - United Kingdom (Leeds)

Today, good news! The guitar I have been saving up for, for 5 months, finally arrived. It came inside a beautiful black and white case, and impossible to get into without the key. They didn't pack the key. FML

#6136343
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32263) - you deserved it (2474)

On 11/03/2009 at 3:08pm - misc - by RedLion23 (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, tired and hungover, I missed my bus, tried to walk to the train station, got lost, got soaked in the rain, got huge blisters, and had to be picked up because I was late for work. I got in, drenched, tired, and cold only to be told there was "nothing to be done." FML

Today, I came back home to meet people before going away to university, including my ex and her new boyfriend. We broke up about two months ago and there were no bad feelings between us, so I decided to have a chat with them. I asked "How long have you been going out?" He replied "Seven months." FML

#6102050
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37715) - you deserved it (2323)

On 11/01/2009 at 2:02pm - love - by H4rd_Man (man) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, as I stopped at a traffic light, I noticed the man in the car next to me break out in laughter. I pulled over later on to see that someone had drawn a large penis on the side of my van. I then spent all my morning cleaning it off. I went outside later only to see someone had redrawn it. FML

#6098895
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33462) - you deserved it (2981)

On 11/01/2009 at 9:36am - misc - by WasteOfTime (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML

#6086009
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42579) - you deserved it (5951)

On 10/31/2009 at 3:40pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I left my hammer outside after putting up my 'for sale' sign in front of my house. I realised and went outside to get it. The hammer had been used to smash my car window and steal stuff inside. FML

#6085563
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26803) - you deserved it (6198)

On 10/31/2009 at 3:09pm - misc - by dogsickftl - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, I invited my very animal phobic boyfriend over. I have a dog and a rabbit, who are always well behaved so I insisted they wouldn't do him any harm. My dog peed all over his shoes and my rabbit furiously humped his leg and wouldn't let go. He's now even more terrified of animals. FML

#6081192
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27154) - you deserved it (10613)

On 10/31/2009 at 7:08am - love - by Anon (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, my 5 year old daughter figured out how to use the microwave, microwaving my brand new 3G iphone. It was completely wrecked. So was the microwave. FML

#6078140
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31221) - you deserved it (5988)

On 10/31/2009 at 12:22am - kids - by Mike (man) - United Kingdom (Blackpool)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML

#6069368
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9166) - you deserved it (18735)

On 10/30/2009 at 12:34pm - intimacy - by man (man) - United Kingdom (London)



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