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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from United Kingdom

Today, I got my first acting part. I played the role of a bad boy who has to grab the leading lady's ass, who then slaps me in the face. The ass grab was done in one take. The slap required 14 takes. FML

#6570901
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36997) - you deserved it (4423)

On 12/02/2009 at 6:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my sister was dumped by her boyfriend. As my mother was comforting her, I overheard her say "Honey, it's okay, you're the pretty one. Think of those worse off than you. Think of your sister, she might never get a boyfriend." FML

#6570014
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46991) - you deserved it (2609)

On 12/02/2009 at 5:27pm - love - by UglySister - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I looked outside with a grimace at the very heavy rainfall through which I had to trudge a long way. I waited ten minutes for it to let up, only to find it was getting heavier. So, I started walking anyway. After getting soaked to the bone, I walked through my door, and it stopped. FML

#6567940
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23982) - you deserved it (2948)

On 12/02/2009 at 1:25pm - misc - by Furry (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, at work I was told I'd be working over Christmas because I don't drink. Apparently if you're tee-total, you're not entitled to spend time with your family and are incapable of having fun. FML

#6565832
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27329) - you deserved it (3450)

On 12/02/2009 at 8:27am - work - by ostler (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I posted a picture of my boyfriend and I kissing on facebook. He untagged himself. FML

#6530048
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32322) - you deserved it (17730)

On 11/30/2009 at 7:17am - love - by destiny147 (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, it's decided, I'm going on diet. For real. But I said that yesterday. And the day before. FML

#6510175
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8357) - you deserved it (51256)

On 11/29/2009 at 8:02am - health - by Numnum (woman) - United Kingdom (Greater London)

Today, I had to look at my positive ebay feedback to feel loved. FML

#6491892
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30586) - you deserved it (5584)

On 11/28/2009 at 7:22am - love - by Anon. (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I took my daughter to the zoo. I threw a piece of my sandwich towards a very cute chimpanzee. As a thank you, he threw a piece of crap at me, which exploded all over my shirt. FML

#6482495
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9181) - you deserved it (42651)

On 11/27/2009 at 6:36pm - misc - by Thanks (man) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, a doctor examined my wrist, which is completely swollen and painful. He diagnosed a case of tendonitis and asked me, "Do you use this hand for a particular sort of sport?" I just smiled like a twit. FML

#6480683
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8535) - you deserved it (43021)

On 11/27/2009 at 4:24pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, for the third time this week, my boss made me switch desks. Each new desk is closer to the door than the last one. I think he's trying to tell me something. FML

#6479352
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28056) - you deserved it (2320)

On 11/27/2009 at 2:51pm - work - by Fmyoffice (man) - United Kingdom (Lincolnshire)

Today, I went to my best friend's wedding. All my friends and their boyfriends were seated at one table, while I, as the only single girl in the group, was put on a table with all the other single people. They were all over forty years older than me. I feel like I have seen my future. FML

#6478242
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28741) - you deserved it (2647)

On 11/27/2009 at 1:16pm - love - by singlegirl (woman) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, I got out of the wrong side of the bed. Into a wall. FML

#6475314
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12005) - you deserved it (25025)

On 11/27/2009 at 5:11am - misc - by Nick (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I decided to make myself a nice meal. I bought expensive pasta and sauce etc. It looked delicious, I decided the finishing touch would be some parmesan cheese. I grabbed the bag and threw a handful of cheese on my meal. The cheese was about 98% mould. FML

#6465466
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19159) - you deserved it (25145)

On 11/26/2009 at 5:11pm - misc - by garlicbread (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol)



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