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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from United Kingdom

Today, I was giving a class presentation, when I suddenly sneezed so hard I wet myself. FML

#7780958
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33178) - you deserved it (3618)

On 02/01/2010 at 2:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML

#7773873
415 comments

I agree, your life sucks (108369) - you deserved it (12705)

On 02/01/2010 at 5:23am - misc - by doesnttastegood (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, while at a party, Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'" started playing. For being the only one who didn't know the lyrics, I had beer thrown on me, my shirt stolen, and I was locked outside for half an hour. It's below freezing. FML

#7742822
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18802) - you deserved it (32967)

On 01/31/2010 at 12:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I caught my boyfriend cheating so I broke up with him. As revenge he threw my PS3 and XBox out of the window when I wasn't in our house. I got those consoles out of the spare money my three jobs had brought in - the same three jobs I had to get because he refused to get a job of his own. FML

#7702902
299 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38204) - you deserved it (7814)

On 01/30/2010 at 10:17am - love - by GamerGirl (woman) - United Kingdom (St. Helens)

Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML

#7698820
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10955) - you deserved it (31945)

On 01/30/2010 at 3:47am - misc - by Wowsers. (woman) - United Kingdom (Blackpool)

Today, I decided to cut class with one of my friends and we ended up going to Burger King. As we sat down at the table, I heard my name being called. My mum was getting lunch through the drive thru with my little brother and saw my car parked out front. FML

#7675609
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6571) - you deserved it (35923)

On 01/29/2010 at 2:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Kirklees)

Today, I found out that shouting 'arsehole' at a speeding car is not a good idea. Two chavs MIGHT just turn around, drive onto the pavement and push you into a bush. FML

#7640098
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9716) - you deserved it (24733)

On 01/28/2010 at 10:43am - misc - by Daivv (man) - United Kingdom (Somerset)

Today, I was in a tense tiebreak round to win the local pub quiz. As the quizmaster read out more clues, I got the answer, got up and rushed to be the first team to the bar. I tripped, faceplanted. The whole bar laughed, and then I realized that it wasn't a "fastest to the bar" round. FML

#7607297
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6982) - you deserved it (21564)

On 01/27/2010 at 3:24am - misc - by pubquizgenius (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was at my Muay Thai class. We were doing a combination which consisted of a low kick, body kick and head kick. My partner had already done the low kick so I held the pads for the body kick. He kicked me straight in the jaw. I'm a teenage girl and he's a fully grown man. FML

#7586565
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31152) - you deserved it (3358)

On 01/26/2010 at 7:55am - health - by anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I woke up and went to go have a shower. The trouble is, my bedroom door is broken and will no longer open. My mother's idea of helping was pushing a note under the door saying she'll be back in a couple of hours. FML

Today, I cut myself deeply with an expensive razor that advertised it's impossible to cut yourself with. Twice. Guess I always was an overachiever. FML

#7571238
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25831) - you deserved it (6050)

On 01/25/2010 at 4:46pm - health - by Thorin (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I went to get my friend a drink while she sat in the lounge watching TV with my dog. When I came back, I found her licking my dogs ears. She said he dared her to do it. FML

#7540376
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26149) - you deserved it (2970)

On 01/24/2010 at 7:28am - animals - by CheeseMonsters (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)



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