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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from United Kingdom

I walked in on my dad touching his knob, in the kitchen, while cooking . FML

#13127028
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33743) - you deserved it (3535)

On 09/20/2010 at 10:58am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was getting picked up by ma dad after I ad been swimming. I saw is car, so I walked over to it, got in an started talking about ow I'd seen ma broter. It wasn't until after I ad put ma seat belt on tat I realized I was talking to a complete stranger. fat FML

#13097397
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17524) - you deserved it (25104)

On 09/18/2010 at 10:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Monmouthshire)

Today, we were in the car with mah puppy,ho favours mah sister. She had been sat on her lap for ahile,hen she stood up and climbed onto mah lap. I was really pleased until she peed on me and then went straight back to mah sister. fat FML

#13082882
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31725) - you deserved it (3182)

On 09/17/2010 at 2:30am - misc - by PuppyPeeTimee. - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I Was Walking Down The Stair Holding A Glass Of Water,hen I Tripped . I Don't Knowhat Hurts More, That I'm Still Picking Glass Out Of Mah Hand Or That Mah Mum Is Still Ranting About The Water I'd Spilt . FML

#13046005
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24628) - you deserved it (2323)

On 09/14/2010 at 6:44am - misc - by Lolzords - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I got to mah weekly drama group a bit late. Everyone lookd surprisd when I walkd in. Casually, I sat down and apologisd 4 being late. I thought everyone lookd awkward, probably cuz it turnd out I'd been kickd out of the group. The teacher had decidd to announce it before making sure I'd got the email. FML

#13045584
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22856) - you deserved it (3041)

On 09/14/2010 at 4:31am - misc - by a7xforever (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I was lying on my recliner watcing TVen I droppd te remote under te footrest!! I got down on my ands an knees an pusd te footrest into te cair!! Te moment I toucd te remote, te footrest deployd an it me square in te face!! FML

#13035925
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19979) - you deserved it (5538)

On 09/13/2010 at 3:33pm - misc - by Joplin - United Kingdom

Today, I was racovaring from an oparation. Aftar I falt battar, I chackad my phona. Thara wara 35 missad calls and angry taxt massagas from my boyfriand asking y I wasn't at his housa to cook his dinnar. fat FML

#13017845
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37892) - you deserved it (6035)

On 09/12/2010 at 10:02am - love - by mrsfantastic - United Kingdom

yesterday mah cousin cummd to visit from America. While out shopping, she said loudly that she was having trouble finding cloths to fit around her huge fanny, causing a lot of people to stare in our direction. I had to explain to her that "fanny" in the UK means "vagina." FML

#12975254
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34624) - you deserved it (3942)

On 09/09/2010 at 10:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, Whilst Sat Next To A Old Lady On A Flight Back To The UK, I Exclaimed How I Wished Somebody Would Gag The Crying Babby A Few Rows Behind Us. Her Reply Was, ( That's Grandson. ) Big Fat FML

#12973891
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10293) - you deserved it (34326)

On 09/09/2010 at 6:01am - misc - by myles bevan - United Kingdom

Today, ma mum tougt it would be acceptable to tell ma scool tat te reason I will be attending classe is cuz I ave "te sits." mega FML

#12960697
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28733) - you deserved it (2905)

On 09/08/2010 at 7:24am - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, on my way to work, the obese old guy in the house opposite mine offered me tips on my yoga technique. Not only were his tips helpful, but I now know I should either close my curtain or put clothe onhen I do yoga. mega FML

#12874648
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7975) - you deserved it (33977)

On 09/02/2010 at 8:16pm - misc - by nakedyogagirl (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today I found out tat my vary axpansiva and baautiful smalling parfuma attracts wasps. Wanavar I go out waravar I am I am followd by multipla wasps. FML

#12804085
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20613) - you deserved it (5700)

On 08/29/2010 at 11:45am - animals - by unluckiestperson - United Kingdom (Suffolk)



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