Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from United Kingdom

Today, I went to the supermarket; it was taking me ages to walk home because of the heavy food bags. Halfway home, I realised I had gone in my car. I had to walk all the way back to get my car. FML

#10906033
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10199) - you deserved it (52916)

On 06/01/2010 at 11:59am - misc - by Lou (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I had a dream I was going the bathroom. I then woke up peeing, but I didn’t wet the bed yet. As I ran to the bathroom while half asleep and in the dark, I rammed into the wall. On my way back to bed, I tripped and accidentally slapped my fiancé in an effort to stop myself from falling over. FML

#10804191
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25766) - you deserved it (4445)

On 05/27/2010 at 6:50pm - misc - by Fark (woman) - United Kingdom (Cumbria)

Today, my girlfriend actually walked into a door and gave herself a black eye. She's too embarrassed to admit it, so she's telling everyone I beat her. FML

#10760568
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57883) - you deserved it (3630)

On 05/25/2010 at 7:06pm - love - by DHarman (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that I'm named after my dad's favourite drink. FML

#10665282
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27920) - you deserved it (3990)

On 05/21/2010 at 8:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I was forced to spend three hours looking at a fat guy's butt crack, seated directly in front of me in an exam. I'm pretty sure it lowered my grade. FML

#10627602
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27892) - you deserved it (6921)

On 05/19/2010 at 1:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Norfolk)

Today, I accidentally stapled my finger to a piece of paper. It hurt, but I took it out and went to restaple it. I did it again. FML

#10540759
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10054) - you deserved it (44337)

On 05/15/2010 at 2:21am - misc - by Staples - United Kingdom

Today, I decided to go on a diet to lose some weight before summer. This was followed by the arrival of a giant parcel full of candy from my mother. FML

#10481687
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22243) - you deserved it (5394)

On 05/12/2010 at 5:49am - health - by nick - United Kingdom (London)

Today, if it wasn't already embarrassing enough to tell my boyfriend I was on my period, I had to explain what a period is in the first place, how it works, and why it means nothing can happen during that time of the month. He's twenty. FML

#10435467
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43481) - you deserved it (6011)

On 05/09/2010 at 12:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I realized that my new boyfriend only showers about once every ten days, and to get him to shower more often I have to bribe him with oral sex. FML

#9211500
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25212) - you deserved it (20182)

On 03/19/2010 at 6:05am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Wakefield)

Today, the love of my life sent me a text saying "touch my pork". Somehow I don't think my feelings are mutual. FML

#9181615
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20180) - you deserved it (3838)

On 03/18/2010 at 6:24am - intimacy - by burgeee - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I had my wisdom teeth removed. The sympathetic words from my boyfriend asked if this meant I could open my mouth a bit wider for him now. FML

#9158778
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23219) - you deserved it (5107)

On 03/17/2010 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by smiler (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I bullied a kid at school, just so someone would talk to me. FML

#9154406
311 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15229) - you deserved it (73068)

On 03/17/2010 at 5:22am - kids - by Kid (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend since I believed him to be cheating on me with another woman, something he adamantly denied. I went to his house to get all my stuff back. After I left, I discovered a silk thong that definitely did not belong to me, in amongst my clothes. FML

#9132820
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27662) - you deserved it (4133)

On 03/16/2010 at 2:35pm - love - by Busted (woman) - United Kingdom



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: