Today, I repaired a boiler for a wealthy guy in a big house. While there, I fixed a leaking tap for free. When I went to go, the man slipped something into my shirt pocket and said "have a drink on me." When I got to my truck, I discovered that he'd given me a tea bag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64653) - you deserved it (4216)
On 03/25/2009 at 12:33pm - misc - by toast - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)
Today, after a hard day's work and emotional argument with my best friend, I sent my boyfriend a text telling him how much I loved him and cherished him in the hopes he would cheer me up with a romantic reply. He said "Sorry, I've only got 8 texts left." FML
I agree, your life sucks (45670) - you deserved it (4847)
On 03/21/2009 at 7:04pm - love - by Gutted. (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)
Today, I received an e-mail from the girls at work. It was an invite to lunch but It said, "Lunch today at Camber's, PLEASE don't tell Francoise, I don't think any of us can take any more of her!" I am Francoise. FML
I agree, your life sucks (71053) - you deserved it (15570)
On 03/18/2009 at 9:02am - work - by Francoise3 (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my boyfriend of over a year and I were discussing how neither of us is the other's usual 'type'. I explained that I usually go for insular asshole types and then asked him what made me different from his usual choices. He said 'Oh, well, I usually go for the attractive ones.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (58848) - you deserved it (9361)
On 03/18/2009 at 8:35am - misc - by aphre - United Kingdom (North Down)
Today, I gave myself a facial with one of those masks you leave on for a while. I busied myself by tidying my room while it dried and eventually forgot all about it. I finally remembered about it after I answered the door to the postman. Not embarassing enough? I'm a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21153) - you deserved it (51359)
On 03/14/2009 at 7:36am - misc - by skc (man) - United Kingdom
Today, I was writing a very important email to my college professor. I went upstairs for something and came back down to send it. I later asked him today why he hadn't responded to which he said "I'm flattered...but can't." My roommate had added "love you xxx" at the end of the email. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47497) - you deserved it (6191)
On 03/14/2009 at 1:27am - misc - by dntstopmenow (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)
Today, I went on a run with this cute guy I know. I was sweating untractively and profusely so I decided to discretly grab a leaf from a tree and wipe my face with it. A bird had done the same with his ass few minutes ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35014) - you deserved it (24073)
On 03/10/2009 at 4:42pm - animals - by broussimousse - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I was sitting in Science class and to my surprise I felt my pants suddenly becoming warm and wet. I looked behind me to see that 4 boys from my class had inserted a small funnel into my exposed buttcrack and where pouring the melted butter from the experiment into that area. FML
I agree, your life sucks (77246) - you deserved it (20709)
On 03/10/2009 at 1:13pm - misc - by Sarah - United Kingdom (Bolton)
Today, my brother had his fiancée over to meet the whole family. We were having a great time with her, and my mother gushed to her that she was like the daughter she never had. I'm her daughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50827) - you deserved it (1915)
On 03/08/2009 at 9:34am - misc - by Noname - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I was drunk at my nan's birthday party. My boyfriend texted me asking if I could go out, to which I replied "No, I'm at my nan's house." He then dumped me, calling me a 'cheating whore.' I was confused, until I realised I'd misspelt nan and said "No, I'm at my man's house." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16880) - you deserved it (34858)
On 03/01/2009 at 9:20am - love - by Mandy (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML
I agree, your life sucks (990026) - you deserved it (78800)
On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)
Today, I went round to my Grandparents' to help set up their new Satellite TV. When I turned it on, for some reason it defaulted to "Arab Babes TV". I was therefore inadvertently responsible for the broadcast of porn in my Grandparents' living room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26964) - you deserved it (3518)
On 02/22/2009 at 5:55pm - misc - by Hello my name is (man) - United Kingdom
Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted me to be her first and last...with plenty of people in between. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57096) - you deserved it (4344)
On 02/22/2009 at 10:10am - intimacy - by Charles (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Monday 20 May 2013
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