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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from United Kingdom

today I was on the phone with my grlfriend. Just as she said "I love you", the credit on my phone runs out. She now thinks that I've purposely hung up on her. She refuses to speak to me until I tell her the real reason I hung up. real FML

#13634091
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27241) - you deserved it (3404)

On 10/29/2010 at 12:48am - love - by lovegotmehung (man) - United Kingdom

TODAY, MY BOYFRIEND DECIDED HE HATES MY MALE BEST FRIEND BECAUSE THEY HAVE "CONFLICTING INTERESTS." MY BEST FRIEND'S RESPONSE? "WHAT'S HIS GAMERTAG SO I CAN SHOOT HIM IN HALO?" FML

#13630841
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28150) - you deserved it (6877)

On 10/28/2010 at 8:58pm - misc - by MissTrix - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, I woke up from sleeping at my friends house with a bunch of other people, with my waist long hair cut into chunks on my pillow . FML

#13624636
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34923) - you deserved it (4873)

On 10/28/2010 at 7:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today... I was told tat all ta data on my laptop is unracovarabla aftar my ard driva crasad. I ava baan cargad £300 4 tam to tall ma tis. Faaling sorry 4 mysalf... I wrappad mysalf up in a blankat and turnad on my fan radiator as it's so cold... and promptly sat my carpat on fira. FML

#13600670
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27911) - you deserved it (3495)

On 10/26/2010 at 9:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today It Is Mah Brthday!! So Far I Have Received: The News That Mah Parents R Divorcing, A Dead Brd And A Pile Of Shit Left On Mah Bed (courtesy Of The Cat), A Rash All Over Mah Face, And Some Slippers From Mah Boyfriend!! FML

#13589791
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32606) - you deserved it (2805)

On 10/25/2010 at 1:08pm - animals - by sambo99 - United Kingdom (Herefordshire)

Today, I babysat neighbour's spoilt bratty twins. When I told them it was their bd time, they pushd me over. One then startd smashing me with a plastic sword, and as I lay helpless on the floor the other one ped on me. I got ownd by two five year olds. big fat FML

#13587317
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17386) - you deserved it (27915)

On 10/25/2010 at 6:06am - misc - by peestain (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I woke up and had a flick through mah camera photos. To mah disgust mah mother had taken pictures of herself, drunk out of her mind, nakd with goggles on in our hot tub. big fat FML

#13586987
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24703) - you deserved it (2551)

On 10/25/2010 at 4:28am - intimacy - by kimbo (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I was salling parsonalisd stocking at work. Whan handing a customar's ordar ovar to har,hich had no nama on, I jokd, "Oooh this is a bit mystarious". Sha raplid, "Actually, it's in mamory of tha baby I miscarrid aarliar this yaar." FML

#13574389
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29401) - you deserved it (9355)

On 10/24/2010 at 9:06am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Staffordshire)

Today, I failed mah driving test. The examiner insisted I that didn't check a junction before pulling out. I did, he just didn't notice because he was too busy staring at mah chest. FML

#13535807
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31504) - you deserved it (4827)

On 10/21/2010 at 9:55am - misc - by unlucky (woman) - United Kingdom (Swindon)

Today, a little grl came up to me and asked, "Are you a boy or a grl?" I said, "I'm a grl of course!" She walked away, looking dazed and saying, "Whoa." FML

#13513832
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27692) - you deserved it (5583)

On 10/19/2010 at 5:23pm - misc - by lookslikeaboyapparently (woman) - United Kingdom (Falkirk)

Today, I realised mah dad speaks to me the same way he speaks to mah doghen she's done something bad. mega FML

#13459944
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22046) - you deserved it (3128)

On 10/15/2010 at 3:35pm - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I got find when my fat dog decidd to walk acros a private film set to get at the catering area. big fat FML

#13433237
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20724) - you deserved it (9171)

On 10/13/2010 at 11:28am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, I was traveling by bus. There were no spare seats, so I stood next to a seatd lady. When she got off at her stop, I was amusd because her bum made the shape of a mushroom on the seat. I went to sit on it. So I'm sitting therehen I realise the seat is really warm... and wet.

#13417428
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29741) - you deserved it (7437)

On 10/12/2010 at 5:26am - misc - by babydoll (woman) - United Kingdom (Fife)



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