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FMLs submitted from United Kingdom

Today, just to win a bet against my mum that he could make me scream like a bitch, my dad faked his own suicide. He went the whole mile: fake blood everywhere, fake gun, yelling "Goodbye!" and playing a loud gunshot sound effect from his PC, everything. My dad won; my underwear lost. FML

#21339686
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39492) - you deserved it (3589)

On 01/18/2015 at 4:58pm - misc - by pissed out pants (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I took my driving test. I was really nervous, but I thought I did pretty well in the end. That is until I parked the car and looked to the examiner. He was visibly shaken. He said I'd passed, quickly filled in the paperwork and left. On the downside, my car still smells of his shart. FML

#21339037
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31334) - you deserved it (3407)

On 01/17/2015 at 5:24pm - misc - by for shite's sake (man) - United Kingdom (Kirklees)

Today, my mother kindly brought me some soup as was recovering from having my tonsils out. Spicy Mexican bean soup. Yep, very spicy. FML

#21338407
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27193) - you deserved it (2097)

On 01/16/2015 at 4:59pm - health - by Jensa (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, my boss told me that as funny as it is, it is inappropriate to mock customers with my "fake" Scottish accent. I don't, he refuses to believe that I speak with a Scottish accent. FML

Today, I tripped over a "wet floor" sign at work and hit the floor hard. The floor wasn't even wet. FML

#21336915
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28429) - you deserved it (4376)

On 01/14/2015 at 10:35am - work - by kronic1990 - United Kingdom

Today, both my female flatmate and my gay male flatmate have got their boyfriends round. They've both stuck 'Do Not Disturb' signs on their bedroom doors and are both playing music which doesn't quite muffle the sounds of what they're up to. I haven't had a date in over six months. FML

#21335645
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32375) - you deserved it (3721)

On 01/12/2015 at 7:53am - love - by fukinlonely (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I refused to serve a woman alcohol, as she looked underage. She complained to my manager about "age racism". FML

#21335591
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32762) - you deserved it (2487)

On 01/12/2015 at 3:23am - work - by nick (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I psyched myself up and headed out to a really promising job interview. I was sure I was going to nail it and get my first job. That is, until a bird shat on my head on my way there. Thank you so very much, universe. FML

#21334630
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28581) - you deserved it (2079)

On 01/10/2015 at 5:46pm - work - by sadlrana121 (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I had to go back to the restaurant I had just eaten at and beg for my tip back so I could afford my bus home. FML

Today, I found out my boyfriend was on a dating website. He came up as an ideal match for my sister. FML

#21333814
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32112) - you deserved it (2514)

On 01/09/2015 at 7:06am - love - by ohdearyme - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, desperate for work, I went into a shop and asked the owner if he had any spare jobs to fill. He looked me up and down and sneered "Yes, but not for people like... you." FML

#21332025
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27620) - you deserved it (2547)

On 01/06/2015 at 1:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I was shopping with my dad and I saw one of my guy friends, so we waved and smiled at each other. My dad clearly thought his wave was too "romantic", because he shouted at him, "Touch her, and I'll kill you." FML

#21330296
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30588) - you deserved it (2796)

On 01/03/2015 at 10:56pm - misc - by Dear Lord Save Me (woman) - United Kingdom (Merthyr Tydfil)

Today, I got a call from my roommate's mother, asking me to hide her flip flops so she couldn't wear them out in sub-zero temperatures. FML

#21327005
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27443) - you deserved it (2741)

On 12/30/2014 at 4:57am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)



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