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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from United Kingdom

Today, I tripped over a "wet floor" sign at work and hit the floor hard. The floor wasn't even wet. FML

#21336915
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27332) - you deserved it (4044)

On 01/14/2015 at 10:35am - work - by kronic1990 - United Kingdom

Today, both my female flatmate and my gay male flatmate have got their boyfriends round. They've both stuck 'Do Not Disturb' signs on their bedroom doors and are both playing music which doesn't quite muffle the sounds of what they're up to. I haven't had a date in over six months. FML

#21335645
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31645) - you deserved it (3408)

On 01/12/2015 at 7:53am - love - by fukinlonely (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I refused to serve a woman alcohol, as she looked underage. She complained to my manager about "age racism". FML

#21335591
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30134) - you deserved it (2216)

On 01/12/2015 at 3:23am - work - by nick (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I psyched myself up and headed out to a really promising job interview. I was sure I was going to nail it and get my first job. That is, until a bird shat on my head on my way there. Thank you so very much, universe. FML

#21334630
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28416) - you deserved it (2074)

On 01/10/2015 at 5:46pm - work - by sadlrana121 (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I had to go back to the restaurant I had just eaten at and beg for my tip back so I could afford my bus home. FML

Today, I found out my boyfriend was on a dating website. He came up as an ideal match for my sister. FML

#21333814
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31806) - you deserved it (2494)

On 01/09/2015 at 7:06am - love - by ohdearyme - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, desperate for work, I went into a shop and asked the owner if he had any spare jobs to fill. He looked me up and down and sneered "Yes, but not for people like... you." FML

#21332025
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27493) - you deserved it (2540)

On 01/06/2015 at 1:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I was shopping with my dad and I saw one of my guy friends, so we waved and smiled at each other. My dad clearly thought his wave was too "romantic", because he shouted at him, "Touch her, and I'll kill you." FML

#21330296
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30468) - you deserved it (2782)

On 01/03/2015 at 10:56pm - misc - by Dear Lord Save Me (woman) - United Kingdom (Merthyr Tydfil)

Today, I got a call from my roommate's mother, asking me to hide her flip flops so she couldn't wear them out in sub-zero temperatures. FML

#21327005
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26235) - you deserved it (2505)

On 12/30/2014 at 4:57am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, I was waiting in line while a lady paid for her shopping, when her credit card got declined. She started ranting and insulting everyone and kept insisting: "I'm not poor!" By the time the lady had finally stormed off, I had spittle on my face, and the cashier was almost in tears. FML

#21325473
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29357) - you deserved it (2148)

On 12/27/2014 at 7:22pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I've spent far too long on hold to Apple customer support. Unfortunately the only thing to come from it is I now have "Call me maybe" stuck in my head. FML

#21325140
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24792) - you deserved it (2950)

On 12/27/2014 at 5:12am - misc - by still on hol - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, my little sister randomly came up to me and said: "Aww, don't be sad. Even ugly people can get boyfriends." She then smiled, patted my back, and walked off. I wasn't actually sad before, but I am now. FML

#21324793
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30410) - you deserved it (2562)

On 12/26/2014 at 4:54pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Southend-on-Sea)

Today, I had to drive my husband to hospital after he tried to burn his pubes off with a lighter as part of a bet. On the upside, he probably won't be bugging me for sex for a while. On the downside, I'm married to a moron. FML

#21324724
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31199) - you deserved it (4858)

On 12/26/2014 at 2:28pm - misc - by If IQs could be negative... (woman) - United Kingdom (Suffolk)



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