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FMLs submitted from United Kingdom

Today, I was fired. Not only was I fired with no warning, not only was my friend the one who fired me, but I was fired from the unpaid volunteering position I took to help her out. FML

#21516912
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19670) - you deserved it (1968)

On 01/19/2016 at 9:18am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML

#21516882
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19247) - you deserved it (2151)

On 01/19/2016 at 6:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I stopped a guy from running under a moving London bus. No-one else saw what happened. How did the guy thank me? He wanted to fight me because I made him miss the bus I just saved him from. FML

#21516653
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16943) - you deserved it (1254)

On 01/18/2016 at 4:13pm - misc - by ukrukus (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was asked by my live-in landlord not to put too much water in the kettle because it made the utility bills too high. This is the same woman who takes daily baths. FML

#21516555
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20426) - you deserved it (1962)

On 01/18/2016 at 10:16am - money - by logic (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I slept with my deputy manager. He slept with my insane jealous housemate months ago. I need to find a new job and a new flat. FML

#21515990
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11428) - you deserved it (17839)

On 01/16/2016 at 6:15pm - intimacy - by anon - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, my dad made me figure out how to disable the adult content filters on our internet. He spent what must have been a full 10 minutes on a distracting, long-winded speech about how he doesn't want to look up porn, but "it's just the principle of the damn thing". Sure, dad. Sure. FML

#21515750
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18957) - you deserved it (1400)

On 01/15/2016 at 11:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my fiancée was asleep, so I decided to spoon her from behind and cup her boobs to wake her up nicely. She responded by yelling, "THE TOAST!" and elbowing me in the face whilst still asleep. FML

Today, I opened the cupboard and a bag of flour fell on my head, covering me from head to toe. Last night I got drunk, and set some booby traps up around the house for my roommate. I'd forgot that my roommate moved out a week ago. FML

Today, my card got declined at Subway, so I walked to the nearest cashpoint thirty minutes away to frantically figure out how much cash I had in my card. As I went to pull my card out of my purse, it slipped from my grip and fell into the sewer. The guy behind me snorted with laughter. FML

#21514655
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22508) - you deserved it (2328)

On 01/13/2016 at 7:15am - money - by brokeandcardless (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, being the clean freak that I am, I bought an expensive pair of 'mop socks'. As I walked upstairs to show everyone, I slipped on the corner of the bottom step and landed on my face, breaking my toe in the process. FML

#21513596
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16700) - you deserved it (4599)

On 01/10/2016 at 2:55pm - health - by chloeleigholivia - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, someone had thrown up onto the last remaining seat on the train. Guess who accidentally sat in it. FML

#21511850
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19527) - you deserved it (3144)

On 01/05/2016 at 5:23pm - misc - by sochunky (man) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, I found out that my best friend is being sacked. He's also about to rent a new apartment which he won't be able to afford when he loses his job. I can't warn him or I'll breach confidentiality and lose my job as well. FML

#21511737
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25719) - you deserved it (1735)

On 01/05/2016 at 10:04am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I had a job interview where I was asked, "Who is your best friend?" I replied truthfully, "My cat", only to then be asked what my cat would describe as my best qualities, which didn't go far beyond, "Remembering to feed him". They weren't impressed. FML

#21511573
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18292) - you deserved it (5076)

On 01/04/2016 at 10:08pm - work - by Emma (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)



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