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FMLs submitted from United Kingdom

Today, a homeless guy told me I looked like shit and to have some self-respect. Right. FML

#21358017
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27119) - you deserved it (3929)

On 02/17/2015 at 1:23pm - misc - by trolls have hit the gutters (woman) - United Kingdom (Durham)

Today, I found out someone, most likely my psycho ex, has been posing as me on local interest websites, trolling a load of people, and giving them my address so they can come fight me. I found this out when a gentleman showed up at my house wanting to beat me shitless. FML

#21355802
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29175) - you deserved it (1883)

On 02/14/2015 at 7:14am - health - by u wot? (man) - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, as a reward for finishing all my work in maths, I was told I could leave early. Apparently, later on, the class had a random attendance inspection. I didn't know about this until I received a detention for not being present at that class. My teacher had completely forgotten about me. FML

Today, a cute girl was telling me about her weird fetishes. I jokingly said, "Remind me never to have sex with you". She replied, "Don't worry, I have standards". FML

#21353290
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28320) - you deserved it (17669)

On 02/10/2015 at 9:51am - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, my sister tried to convince me to go to a plastic surgeon, because "Bitchface Syndrome's no joke." FML

#21351489
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28734) - you deserved it (3394)

On 02/07/2015 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Wirral)

Today, I called my boss a "fucking retard" for doing something insanely stupid, only for him to find out 5 minutes later that I did exactly the same thing. I'll never hear the end of this now. FML

Today, after a heavy make-out session, my boyfriend and I discovered his lips bruise really easily. This wouldn't be a problem except he's been telling people I hit him. He thinks it's hilarious. FML

#21349595
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34331) - you deserved it (3680)

On 02/04/2015 at 10:16am - intimacy - by Grrrreat (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, at work, I had to tell a woman that there is no such thing as a "pedigree Beahuahuadoodle", and that she'd essentially paid $500 for a mutt. FML

#21348955
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28306) - you deserved it (2333)

On 02/03/2015 at 10:26am - animals - by dogbreederssuck (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I was in charge of taking a delivery of new office chairs for the meeting room at work. The delivery men took the old chairs, but left without delivering the new ones. I can't get in contact with them, and we have a big meeting first thing tomorrow. FML

Today, my coworker said that she suddenly got the shivers. I jokingly told her that it meant she must be being watched by a dead person and made stupid ghost noises. She then told me it was the anniversary of her dad's death and burst into tears. FML

#21348221
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32428) - you deserved it (12872)

On 02/02/2015 at 9:25am - misc - by pinecones (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, the girl I like finally replied to a text I sent a week ago. Her reply was: "Don't ever text me again, fuckface." FML

#21347694
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30460) - you deserved it (3673)

On 02/01/2015 at 9:59am - love - by FuckfaceSteve (man) - United Kingdom (Durham)

Today, I bought a small tub of coconut pieces in a bid to eat healthier snacks at work. I noticed that the chunks were a bit slimy, but thought nothing of it and kept eating. It wasn't until I reached the final few pieces that I noticed a huge black slug crawling across the bottom of the tub. FML

#21346678
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29716) - you deserved it (4860)

On 01/30/2015 at 6:00am - misc - by goodbyediet (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I received a panicked email from one of my university students on my course on Russian history, stating that he'd "always thought Stalin was fake, like the moon landing". FML

#21346676
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25159) - you deserved it (1892)

On 01/30/2015 at 5:51am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Surrey)



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