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FMLs submitted from United Kingdom

Today, a woman who works in the clinic across the road told me that my glass isn't frosted enough and she and all her patients can see me when I shower. FML

#21455668
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20924) - you deserved it (2550)

On 08/13/2015 at 5:10pm - intimacy - by theflasher (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, I got all excited because I thought my crush was flirting with me, when in actuality she was taking advantage of me liking her so she and her friends could make fun of my speech impediment. FML

#21454921
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32638) - you deserved it (1697)

On 08/11/2015 at 8:00pm - misc - by SY5623 - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)

Today, my lazy bastard of a co-worker punched me straight in the jaw because he didn't get the promotion I did. Being his new manager, I fired him. A few hours later, I was fired for "abusing" my power. FML

#21454901
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28272) - you deserved it (2828)

On 08/11/2015 at 7:05pm - work - by NotJobbing (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I told my boyfriend I was scared to open up to him because I had lost people in the past by doing so. After an hour of him trying to convince me to share my thoughts with him, I finally agreed to tell him some things that were worrying me. He broke up with me a minute later. FML

#21454874
101 comments

Today, I'm lying awake at 2 in the morning listening to the police helicopter circle my house yet again. I recently moved near quiet woodland to escape the traffic noise that disturbed my sleep. Quiet woodland where apparently the local criminals play midnight hide-and-seek with the police. FML

Today, I got into the shower with my glasses on by mistake. I spent 5 minutes convinced that the fog in my vision was me going blind. FML

#21454264
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20050) - you deserved it (8603)

On 08/10/2015 at 11:51am - misc - by monster1109 (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, my brother let me fly his two day old, expensive drone. Within a minute I had crashed it into a potato field. Four hours of searching and we still haven't found it. FML

#21453828
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19889) - you deserved it (9781)

On 08/09/2015 at 11:23am - money - by oh great - United Kingdom (Doncaster)

Today, I realised that my closeted gay friend has dated more women this year than I have in my 28 years of life. FML

#21453604
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23479) - you deserved it (2452)

On 08/08/2015 at 8:03pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (North Somerset)

Today, my sister offered me a couple doughnuts she bought recently. Thinking she was just being nice, I went ahead and started eating, and was met with the most horrid taste I've ever experienced. Turns out her "recently" was two weeks ago. FML

#21453223
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21436) - you deserved it (1949)

On 08/07/2015 at 5:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Plymouth)

Today, an older lady approached me at work and stroked my hair, telling me it was 'beautiful'. This isn't unusual, I'm a natural redhead and octogenarians especially seem to love the colour. However, the unusual part was the glob of snot she left in my hair from her unwashed hands. FML

#21452391
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21568) - you deserved it (1466)

On 08/05/2015 at 7:24pm - misc - by gingerwhinger - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, I entered a painting I'd worked on for weeks into an art competition. I won nothing. I wouldn't care so much if the guy I lost out to hadn't submitted a blank canvas and called it a "conceptual piece". FML

#21452227
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24876) - you deserved it (1685)

On 08/05/2015 at 12:47pm - misc - by thekyledavid (man) - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, I found out what mouse intestines squashed against my bare feet feels like. FML

#21451813
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24231) - you deserved it (2424)

On 08/04/2015 at 3:19pm - animals - by whydoihavecats - United Kingdom

Today, I caught my boyfriend cheating on me. He didn't break down into tears, or say he'd made a huge mistake, or even apologise. No, he just looked up and said "Bugger." FML

#21450122
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24445) - you deserved it (2033)

On 07/31/2015 at 5:04pm - love - by single and unbuggered (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)



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