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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from United Kingdom

Today, to avoid disappointing my excited great grandmother, I still attended a small family dinner to celebrate my engagement. My fiancé and I split last night, I haven't slept and had to tell her he was caught up at work. FML

#21519743
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19628) - you deserved it (1808)

On 01/26/2016 at 5:24pm - love - by singlelady (woman) - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, I requested a pay rise at work. They said they couldn't do it as they have to cut costs, so I resigned. They've now re-advertised my job for more money than I asked for. FML

#21519593
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22458) - you deserved it (2601)

On 01/26/2016 at 6:40am - work - by Anon (man) - United Kingdom (Kingston upon Thames)

Today, just 1 month after giving me a bracelet with an infinity symbol on it for Christmas, my boyfriend of three years ended everything out of the blue. That was a short infinity. FML

#21518660
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21848) - you deserved it (1759)

On 01/23/2016 at 7:08pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my girlfriend read an FML by some guy about fight he had with his nutjob of a girlfriend. It was so bizarrely similar to a fight we had recently that she accused me of not having any balls and bitching about her to strangers. It wasn't even my story. FML

#21518234
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22699) - you deserved it (1762)

On 01/22/2016 at 3:55pm - love - by believe me now?? (man) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, at my work at a charity shop, I reached into a new bag of donations only to pull out... used underwear. Thanks for your generosity. FML

Today, I was fired. Not only was I fired with no warning, not only was my friend the one who fired me, but I was fired from the unpaid volunteering position I took to help her out. FML

#21516912
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19666) - you deserved it (1968)

On 01/19/2016 at 9:18am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML

#21516882
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19501) - you deserved it (2213)

On 01/19/2016 at 6:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I stopped a guy from running under a moving London bus. No-one else saw what happened. How did the guy thank me? He wanted to fight me because I made him miss the bus I just saved him from. FML

#21516653
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16944) - you deserved it (1253)

On 01/18/2016 at 4:13pm - misc - by ukrukus (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was asked by my live-in landlord not to put too much water in the kettle because it made the utility bills too high. This is the same woman who takes daily baths. FML

#21516555
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20436) - you deserved it (1960)

On 01/18/2016 at 10:16am - money - by logic (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I slept with my deputy manager. He slept with my insane jealous housemate months ago. I need to find a new job and a new flat. FML

#21515990
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11427) - you deserved it (17877)

On 01/16/2016 at 6:15pm - intimacy - by anon - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, my dad made me figure out how to disable the adult content filters on our internet. He spent what must have been a full 10 minutes on a distracting, long-winded speech about how he doesn't want to look up porn, but "it's just the principle of the damn thing". Sure, dad. Sure. FML

#21515750
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19235) - you deserved it (1503)

On 01/15/2016 at 11:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my fiancée was asleep, so I decided to spoon her from behind and cup her boobs to wake her up nicely. She responded by yelling, "THE TOAST!" and elbowing me in the face whilst still asleep. FML

Today, I opened the cupboard and a bag of flour fell on my head, covering me from head to toe. Last night I got drunk, and set some booby traps up around the house for my roommate. I'd forgot that my roommate moved out a week ago. FML



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