Today, my neighbours' whiny emo of a daughter got dumped by her boyfriend. In her infinite wisdom, she's chosen to cope by playing on her recorder the worst rendition of "My Heart Will Go On" that I've ever heard. It's been going on all day. Now I know why he dumped this idiot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44656) - you deserved it (7488)
On 05/04/2013 at 5:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)
Today, through sheer luck, I got talking to an actor from the Harry Potter films who I've had a crush on since I was about ten. I tried to play it cool, and pretend I didn't know who he was. Then my phone rang, with the Harry Potter theme tune. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19710) - you deserved it (36734)
On 04/30/2013 at 6:23pm - misc - by itsellie27 (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I went to have a breast exam. The doc told me that she would touch different parts of my breasts, and said to tell her if at any point it felt painful. As she was examining me, I was going to say that it wasn't painful, but instead I blurted out, "It feels good." FML
I agree, your life sucks (43154) - you deserved it (10418)
On 04/29/2013 at 12:51pm - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)
Today, a family of geese nested outside my halls of residence. They have started attacking everyone who tries to get in or out of the building. I'm basically being placed under house arrest by birds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36836) - you deserved it (2866)
On 04/29/2013 at 12:14pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (York)
Today, I was in the middle of having a shower when I noticed a camera hidden in the corner of the room pointing directly towards the shower which I stood in butt-naked. I live by myself and have recently only moved in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55705) - you deserved it (2580)
On 04/28/2013 at 6:30am - misc - by wtfisgoingon (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I was walking through a rough part of town, when a woman screamed that I'd stolen her bag. I was tackled to the ground by a large guy, who then gave my bag to her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46627) - you deserved it (2732)
On 04/27/2013 at 4:28am - misc - by whathehell (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I had to explain to my friend that the hot girl he's been sending nudes to and cybering with for the past month is probably a bored, fat-as-fuck, balding male living in his mum's basement. The look on his face after I proved that "her" pictures were fake broke my heart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36286) - you deserved it (6973)
On 04/26/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by sanoria51 (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, my new landlord and lettings agent made an illegal entry into my house. Unfortunately, at the time my boyfriend was buck naked, smoking a joint on the sofa, surrounded by the cats we aren't supposed to have. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25970) - you deserved it (37688)
On 04/25/2013 at 2:28am - misc - by goingtobeevicted - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, it was my wedding day. My new husband and I, for a laugh, did our first dance to LMFAO's "I'm sexy and I know it" with stupid moves and everything. 200 guests. Nobody laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42051) - you deserved it (22983)
On 04/24/2013 at 6:29pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)
Today, I answered a call at work from a very irate gentleman. After being shouted and sworn at profusely, I ended the call in a slightly less than civil manner. Turns out that guy is one of our company's biggest clients. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24944) - you deserved it (35543)
On 04/23/2013 at 2:25pm - work - by hatemyjob (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)
Today, I was feeling really sick at work. I messaged my boss whether his girlfriend, who also works there, could cover me. He then came down, shouting at me that whatever illness I have, I've also passed on to his girlfriend. I'm pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41664) - you deserved it (2803)
On 04/22/2013 at 9:22am - work - by work -_- - United Kingdom (Surrey)
Today, it has been over 3 months since my housemates ended their 1 month long relationship. He's still creepily obsessed with her. He picked the bathroom lock when I was in the shower and tried to get in, and then called me a "fucking c*nt" when he realised it was me in there, not her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46362) - you deserved it (3463)
On 04/19/2013 at 7:44am - misc - by pleasekillme (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)
Today, I found out that the catchy Japanese song I've been obsessed with for the past week is actually about a dildo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35506) - you deserved it (14920)
On 04/17/2013 at 1:40pm - misc - by KatiRozz1 (woman) - United Kingdom (Middlesbrough)
Monday 20 May 2013
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