FMLs submitted from United Kingdom

Today, I found out my landlord has bought himself a new boat. He refuses to turn up the heating to save money. I'm freezing. FML

by Too Many Layers / 10/24/2016 at 2:43pm / United Kingdom (Devon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to find my face covered in scratches, some of them bleeding. I was rather puzzled, as I don't have a cat. Then I realised that the feathers in my pillow had stuck out and scratched my face. I was attacked by my own pillow. FML

by Anonymous / 10/20/2016 at 9:17am / United Kingdom (Kent) / Health

Today, after a week of rejoicing that my petty, passive-aggressive, bullying neighbours were moving away, I came home to find the "to let" board had been outside the wrong house the whole time. It's actually the people I really like who are moving away. FML

by Jade / 10/15/2016 at 7:22am / United Kingdom (Brent) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got into my dream university. I also got turned down for the scholarship and the loan that would enable me to actually go. FML

by TooPoorForPrivateUni / 10/09/2016 at 12:18pm / United Kingdom (Merton) / Money

Today, I finally bought my first car after saving around £5000 and finding an absolute bargain that ticked all the boxes! Today was also the day of my first ever car accident, resulting in the car being written off by an uninsured driver. I had it less than 9 hours. FML

by One_Wheel_Wonder / 10/06/2016 at 11:36am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Transportation

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my mother told me she thinks it is time for me to move into my own place. I agreed with her and went to look at studios/ flats online. She later came into my room, saw me looking at places and then got pissed off at me, saying that I hate her for wanting to leave her. FML

by Paulshaun1 / 10/06/2016 at 9:38am / United Kingdom (Luton) / Miscellaneous

Today, a customer at work asked me to ring her a taxi. The phone number she gave me was for a company 250 miles away. The woman on the other end thought I was deranged. FML

by rufus_t_firefly / 10/03/2016 at 2:48pm / United Kingdom (Leicester) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my kitchen is trying to kill me. So far, I've hit my head three times on cupboards that opened themselves, cut open my hand on the microwave door when it slammed shut, and burned my cheek with the "heat-proof" oven mitt when I pushed the hair off my face. FML

by Anonymous / 09/28/2016 at 9:08am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Health

Today, I realised that as I get closer to home, I drive slower and slower so I'm away from my husband for longer. FML

by tedfragle / 09/28/2016 at 5:52am / United Kingdom (Bournemouth) / Love

Today, it's my last day at my job because I'm moving to another city. My boss handed me a card and chocolates. The same boss that didn't sign the card because, "Even though you're a great employee, I probably won't remember your name in a fortnight." I've been there three years. FML

by Bawsack / 09/26/2016 at 6:10am / United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of) / Work

Today, I had my first interview. Everything was going well until I made him repeat his name numerous times, as I couldn't understand what he was saying due to his thick accent. FML

by NoJob / 09/24/2016 at 2:41am / United Kingdom (Redcar and Cleveland) / Work

Today, my boyfriend gave me a teddy bear keyring. I had to explain that although many grown women like cuddly toys, I don't. And even if I did, a filthy, soaking wet bear he found in a puddle on the street is not a nice gesture, despite his suggestion I can just wash it in the machine. FML

by NoTeddies / 09/21/2016 at 6:48pm / United Kingdom (Leicester) / Love

Today, my sister gently asked me if I was gay. Turns out I've been without a boyfriend for so long that the whole family believes I secretly have a girlfriend. FML

by Singlelady / 09/21/2016 at 3:16pm / United Kingdom (Stoke-on-Trent) / Love