Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from United Arab Emirates

Today, I found a horde of ants in one of my socks when I put it on my foot. FML

#15012053
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29036) - you deserved it (4438)

On 02/17/2011 at 1:50am - misc - by YeahItsmecoolhuh (woman) - United Arab Emirates

Today, this guy I've been "seeing" for a year said he didn't want to share my birthday with me because he doesn't want us to get serious. FML

#13245354
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24181) - you deserved it (3401)

On 09/29/2010 at 2:24am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, my fiancé invited his pregnant co-worker for dinner. After we finished eating, he sat down and explained to me that her kid is his and that he's been cheating on me with her for 5 months. She had a smile on her face during the entire thing. FML

#12284629
367 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72577) - you deserved it (4195)

On 08/03/2010 at 8:11am - love - by Broken (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Abu Dhabi)

Today, I went out for dinner with some friends to a new restaurant. As I was finishing the soup, I noticed a small curly hair at the bottom of the soup. The chef is bald. FML

#7967999
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27415) - you deserved it (2125)

On 02/07/2010 at 9:19am - misc - by Anonymous - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, I went to the mall with my mum. She had a few too many drinks the night before. As soon as we got into the mall, she puked. She walked around the mall with me, blowing chunks into a plastic bag. FML

#6952779
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25529) - you deserved it (2399)

On 12/26/2009 at 4:10am - misc - by mothapuka (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, I was texting this cute guy that I like. After a couple of minutes I get a missed call from him, I call back and his girlfriend answers and says "Hi this is his girlfriend, please stop calling him". FML

#6612429
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11699) - you deserved it (26702)

On 12/05/2009 at 3:44am - love - by JennyAndrews (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, I kept restarting my internet, wondering why I wasn't receiving any messages from my friends. Then I realized they were all ignoring me. FML

#5989620
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24760) - you deserved it (7968)

On 10/25/2009 at 11:30am - misc - by Happyforeverx (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, I enlisted for The Navy because my Boy Scout leader encouraged me. He fought in Korea and is a real inspiration. I asked him what motivated him to join The Navy. He said he was drunk and didn't remember joining until he was called up. FML

#3172918
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34772) - you deserved it (9132)

On 06/24/2009 at 12:37pm - work - by ArmyMan (man) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, it was my 18th birthday. I got one thing: a fancy electric toothbrush from my little sister. I would say I'm happy to have something rather than nothing, except, for as long as the toothbrush works, there will be a Hannah Montana concert going on in my mouth. FML

#2935606
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48862) - you deserved it (3699)

On 06/16/2009 at 7:14am - misc - by BirthdayTeeth - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, I had just a few dominoes left to complete the whole project that I've been working on for about three weeks. I pressed record on my video camera, flicked the first domino, and watched with pride. When it finished, I realized I hadn't actually pressed record. FML

#2766675
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44086) - you deserved it (29215)

On 06/10/2009 at 7:39am - misc - by DamnDominoes (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, it was my boyfriend's 24th birthday. His friends were throwing him a surprise party and I was in charge of getting his birthday cake. As a joke, I got it in the shape of a penis, with a graphic marzipan design. Funny, I never knew his overly-conservative parents were invited. FML

#2397124
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13302) - you deserved it (47726)

On 05/29/2009 at 7:12am - misc - by ilikecake (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, as I was washing the dishes, I felt what I thought was a mosquito on my leg. I kicked at it with my foot only to realize that I had just kicked my adopted puppy in the face. Now, whenever I come into a room, he runs to the corner and pees. FML

#1286671
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24834) - you deserved it (84095)

On 04/24/2009 at 11:18am - animals - by Anonymousagb (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, we were hanging around the pool with a couple of friends and a crush of mine. Thinking I would be able to impress her with a well performed dive of the diving board, I go up and attempt my best dive. I slip just as I jump and hit my head on the board. I had to be saved by the lifeguard. FML

#464329
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22547) - you deserved it (51080)

On 03/19/2009 at 11:47am - love - by Fish (man) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: