FMLs submitted from Turkey

Today, I was at my best friend's wedding. As she threw the bouquet, I was punched in the face by another bridesmaid. Later, as I was explaining what had happened, I punched myself in the face. FML

by Anonymous / 06/30/2015 at 8:56am / Turkey (Istanbul) / Love

Today, my husband was involved in a horrible series of accidents; he repeatedly slipped and fell into my best friend's vagina. FML

by soontobewidow / 03/28/2015 at 5:20am / Turkey (Istanbul) / Intimacy

Today, I told my mom I've been having sleep issues and asked if she could take me to the doctor. She decided I just need to read the Bible more. Needless to say, I still can't sleep. FML

by david99021 / 03/19/2015 at 10:24am / Turkey (Ankara) / Health

Today, I got mugged while walking my dog. He seemed to be OK with it. FML

by woofwoof / 12/29/2014 at 11:17pm / Turkey (Izmir) / Animals

Today, I popped into the shower hoping to come out all warm and clean. Something was very wrong with the pipes, and I came out smelling like sewage instead. FML

by ohray / 12/11/2014 at 11:09am / Turkey (Ankara) / Miscellaneous

Today, my son gave me a bottle of shampoo for my birthday. I'm as bald as a coot. FML

by Bald / 10/21/2014 at 11:41am / Turkey (Istanbul) / Kids

Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML

Today, I was washing up in a public bathroom, when I looked up for a second and saw a kid in the mirror staring back at me. I gasped, as I thought the place had been empty. He whispered, "It's time to die." I screamed and ran out, only to hear him burst out laughing behind me. FML

by lights on forever / 08/02/2013 at 4:57pm / Turkey (Istanbul) / Miscellaneous

Today, my cat learned how to flush the toilet while I was in the shower. His transformation from cute kitten to pure evil entity is now complete. FML

by Anonymous / 11/08/2010 at 5:55am / Turkey (Istanbul) / Animals

Today, I was in my hotel room. I picked up an expensive wine from the mini fridge, just to see what it is. I heard a mechanical "bling". I was charged for it. Then, I tried to put it back, only to hear another "bling". I was charged twice for expensive wine that I won't even drink. FML

by Anonymous / 09/26/2010 at 7:29am / Turkey (Istanbul) / Money

Today, I went shopping with my mother. I needed to use the toilet, so entered a restaurant. After I left the toilet, my mother, who was near the restaurant's entrance, called out and asked: "Did you flush it?" Everyone heard her. And I'm 22 years old. FML

by Kagura / 06/02/2010 at 11:05am / Turkey (Istanbul) / Miscellaneous