Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Switzerland

Today, I let out the most horrific, loudest, and most vile smelling fart I have ever had in my life while in the middle of yoga class. Out of embarrassment, I tried to lessen the tension in the silent room by giggling, but no one saw the funny side. I was given looks of horror, and avoided by everyone else for the rest of the class. FML

#13184282
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21240) - you deserved it (11906)

On 09/24/2010 at 4:21pm - health - by yogapants (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, my grandmother told me she would pay for me to get a nose job. I never thought there was a problem with my nose. FML

#12242096
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26607) - you deserved it (2332)

On 08/01/2010 at 6:38am - misc - by Rawr (woman) - Switzerland (Geneve)

Today, I found out I'm allergic to the pills my doctor prescribed for coughing, which I really need because I ripped a muscle in my stomach. Now my whole upper body is covered in a terrible itchy rash. I also found out it will last for at least another week. FML

#10779349
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22264) - you deserved it (1971)

On 05/26/2010 at 4:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Switzerland (Geneve)

Today, the electrician came because our kitchen light has been flickering. After examining the installation, he screws the lightbulb tighter in the socket. My parents both are PhDs. FML

#6596231
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20919) - you deserved it (6675)

On 12/04/2009 at 5:16am - kids - by PhDdaughter (woman) - Switzerland (Fribourg)

Today, my father decided that since he's paying for my flat, he will use it twice a week to have it off with his girlfriend while I'm away. My parents are still together. FML

#6081535
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19164) - you deserved it (1838)

On 10/31/2009 at 8:54am - intimacy - by franzbiel (man) - Switzerland (Luzern)

Today, it was the elections for Student Council President. I decided to be nice and vote for the only other competitor because it was her birthday. I lost by one vote. FML

#5876259
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15539) - you deserved it (43937)

On 10/18/2009 at 8:25am - misc - by presidont (woman) - Switzerland

Today, as a supervisor at a water park, several clients came up to me and complained about a topless girl in our wave pool. I found the girl, called her out, and politely told her that she was not allowed in the pool without a top. "She" was a fat 15 year old boy. FML

#4478498
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47886) - you deserved it (6584)

On 08/12/2009 at 4:13pm - misc - by auslander (man) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, while backpacking in Switzerland I had my camera stolen. Not only does this have photos of my entire trip but the pictures I took for my best friend's wedding. I was the only photographer of her elopement. FML

#3828649
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43728) - you deserved it (9827)

On 07/17/2009 at 11:01am - misc - by pissedinSwiss (woman) - Switzerland (Bern)

Today, I was having sex with a girl. Things were getting pretty hot, so I decided to smack her butt. I missed. I smacked my balls instead. Real hard. FML

#3055426
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11780) - you deserved it (83800)

On 06/20/2009 at 7:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Switzerland (Bern)

Today, I worked up the courage to comment on my crush's picture. I wrote "Cool picture" on his facebook profile picture. Pleased with myself, I later logged on to see if he had replied. He had. Well, at least he took the time to reply- "Who the fuck are you?". FML

#2182230
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49264) - you deserved it (10300)

On 05/22/2009 at 3:27pm - love - by Invisible (woman) - Switzerland (Basel-Stadt)

Today, I had gone to the store and bought a new wallet. 5 minutes later a security guard asks for my receipt. Turns out I had dropped my receipt. Some guy had picked it up and pretended I had stole his wallet. The guard confiscated my wallet because the guy had "his" receipt to prove it. FML

#409168
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (88523) - you deserved it (6971)

On 03/17/2009 at 8:16am - money - by Recon (man) - Switzerland (Basel-Stadt)

Today, at a party I told this guy that I really liked his pirate costume. Turns out he wasn't wearing a costume, his eye was shot out with a bebe gun. This explains the eye patch. FML

#95150
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11791) - you deserved it (28757)

On 02/21/2009 at 9:33am - misc - by story of my life. - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, I reached for my beer and took a huge swallow before I realized that I had picked up my friend's tobacco spit cup. "Vomit" is not a strong enough word to describe what happened next. FML

#1314
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19415) - you deserved it (4633)

On 01/15/2009 at 11:57pm - misc - by blegh - Switzerland (Ticino)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: