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FMLs submitted from Switzerland

Today, my neighborhood had its annual summer barbecue, and I ended up showing a little boy who lives down the street how to hit a baseball. When I gave him back his bat so he could try for himself, he swung it into my shin and yelled, "Tag! You're it!" FML

#19844556
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23415) - you deserved it (2475)

On 06/25/2012 at 12:09pm - kids - by bcoper (man) - Switzerland (Luzern)

Today, I snuck out of the house for a night on the town. When I got back, I found all the doors and windows bolted shut. My sister's laughing face at my bedroom window suggests I'll be spending the rest of the night outside. FML

#19761318
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10498) - you deserved it (28113)

On 06/09/2012 at 5:15pm - misc - by cock sauce (man) - Switzerland (Luzern)

Today, trying to look cool, I threw my coke bottle in the air, and tried to catch it with one hand. I missed and it fell to the floor. Luckily, it wasn't open, but in my unimaginable stupidity, I opened it less than five seconds later. FML

#19678875
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6209) - you deserved it (37036)

On 05/25/2012 at 3:30pm - misc - by stupidity (woman) - Switzerland (Geneve)

Today, my boyfriend ended our relationship. He called me from his mobile phone, claimed to be a trauma surgeon, and told me with a bad German accent that my "boyfriend" had been in a fatal car crash earlier in the day. What the hell is wrong with this idiot? FML

#19667641
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33799) - you deserved it (4197)

On 05/23/2012 at 1:20pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, I was on the bus during rush hour. A fly started buzzing around my head, and I swatted at it, at the exact moment the woman beside me decided to get out of her seat and put her face straight in the path of my hand. FML

#19502060
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24398) - you deserved it (2925)

On 04/20/2012 at 5:48pm - misc - by apparentlyawomanbeater (man) - Switzerland (Ticino)

Today, after my credit card was stolen, the thief made donations to charitable associations. Now I feel bad for asking for the money back. FML

#18973351
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39100) - you deserved it (3757)

On 02/01/2012 at 11:35pm - money - by zobara - Switzerland

Today, the quality of my sex life reached a new low. I faked my orgasm. And so did he. FML

#18803776
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18212) - you deserved it (26511)

On 01/14/2012 at 8:15am - intimacy - by sosadbuttrue - Switzerland (Glarus)

Today, I stayed up until 4 am. I was waiting for both my cats to fall asleep, so I could play Santa and stuff their stockings in secret. FML

#18605439
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18797) - you deserved it (53632)

On 12/25/2011 at 6:39am - animals - by Anonymoose (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, for breakfast, there were scrambled eggs, boiled eggs, bacon, sausages, fresh bread, croissants, brownies, donuts, fruit smoothie, coffee, tea and orange juice. Too bad no one bothered wake me up. FML

#16969681
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38094) - you deserved it (9945)

On 07/04/2011 at 3:27am - misc - by Gustav Fjorder - Switzerland

Today, while on student exchange in Germany, I was making myself a cup of coffee. When I rummaged around in the fridge, my room-mates asked me what I was looking for. I said I wanted to put "samen" in my coffee. They laughed. Ah yes, "sahne" means "cream". "Samen" means "sperm". FML

#16951443
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31056) - you deserved it (11551) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/02/2011 at 5:50pm - intimacy - by Hum - Switzerland (Ticino)

Today, my family went out to dinner at a seafood restaurant. While we were eating our food, my grandma demanded to see the manager, and loudly complained that her fish was "too fishy". FML

#16852326
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33444) - you deserved it (4067)

On 06/25/2011 at 4:39pm - misc - by Anonymous - Switzerland (Vaud)

Today, one of my students corrected the problem I had solved on the board, explaining that you do multiplication before subtraction. I teach the second grade. FML

#16829160
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11633) - you deserved it (52557)

On 06/24/2011 at 2:47am - work - by gutav indogop - Switzerland (Aargau)

Today, my girlfriend bought several packs of bottled water, even though we have pure mountain water on tap. She did this because the pile-up of unwashed dishes in the sink makes it virtually impossible to slide a glass under the tap. FML

#16718641
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11630) - you deserved it (44920) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/17/2011 at 9:25pm - love - by Anonyme - Switzerland (Fribourg)



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