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FMLs submitted from Switzerland

Today, I tried to catch a train to get to my new job. I was stopped and told that I needed a pre-purchased ticket to enter the platform. The only way to get the ticket, they said, was by buying one on the platform. I arrived by taxi nearly an hour late for my first day. FML

#20916500
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38870) - you deserved it (3834)

On 10/11/2013 at 2:22pm - work - by sharkiewarkiemoosey (woman) - Switzerland (Ausser-Rhoden)

Today, as if to prove that there is no end to the unspeakable stupidity of the human race, a patient was brought into my hospital, needing a cellphone removed from his anus. FML

#20872880
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53128) - you deserved it (3461)

On 09/08/2013 at 12:38pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Switzerland (Bern)

Today, my elderly neighbour was having some kind of house party. It was incredibly loud, so I went and asked if he could tone it down a little. He responded by grabbing a deck chair, smacking me with it, then chasing me back to my house, all while his guests cheered him on. FML

#20840549
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45076) - you deserved it (7414)

On 08/16/2013 at 4:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Switzerland

Today, a man pulled a knife on me just so he could mug me of the cigarette I was smoking. FML

#20829596
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45776) - you deserved it (7595)

On 08/09/2013 at 7:29pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Switzerland

Today, I was pretending to talk on the phone with my wife just to avoid to speak with my boring coworker. After two awkward minutes of him waiting in front of my desk and me inventing a call, he handed me the disconnected phone cable and left. FML

Today, I happily told my parents that my boyfriend proposed to me last night. My dad's response? "Marry that goofy bastard and you're out of the will." FML

#20654832
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56573) - you deserved it (5427)

On 05/10/2013 at 7:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Switzerland (Sankt Gallen)

Today, after three years with my boyfriend hardly ever going to any social or public event with me due to his social anxiety, I got to witness him improve his flirting skills on every girl available at his house party. FML

#20549117
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35952) - you deserved it (4074)

On 03/18/2013 at 10:17am - love - by social anxiety my a** (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, I was chatting with my choir leader. I told him that I have been thinking about taking singing lessons. His immediate reaction was, "Thank god, finally!" FML

#20474677
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27492) - you deserved it (6444)

On 01/23/2013 at 10:44am - misc - by sdd (woman) - Switzerland (Bern)

Today, I was driving and noticed a police car parked in a spot reserved for the handicapped. I stopped my car and got out to take a picture. The cop gave me a ticket for parking in the road. FML

Today, I had to present a program to my supervisors in University. Not being a native English speaker, I used my own invented abbreviations for parameters in the program. Apparently STD is not an appropriate abbreviation for "standard deviation." I can still hear them laughing. FML

#20156190
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23181) - you deserved it (7766)

On 11/09/2012 at 11:23am - work - by EnglishLearner (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend, when things got a little frisky and we started making out. It was my first time French-kissing, and apparently he has a very sensitive gag reflex, because the moment my tongue went in, he started retching, and vomited moments later. FML

#20134512
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27200) - you deserved it (3603)

On 10/26/2012 at 5:59pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by rapping in a voicemail. FML

#20053776
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29766) - you deserved it (3436)

On 09/02/2012 at 8:44am - love - by rotezora (woman) - Switzerland (Basel-Stadt)

Today, my neighborhood had its annual summer barbecue, and I ended up showing a little boy who lives down the street how to hit a baseball. When I gave him back his bat so he could try for himself, he swung it into my shin and yelled, "Tag! You're it!" FML

#19844556
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23412) - you deserved it (2475)

On 06/25/2012 at 12:09pm - kids - by bcoper (man) - Switzerland (Luzern)



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