Today, the quality of my sex life reached a new low. I faked my orgasm. And so did he. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11759) - you deserved it (15558)
On 01/14/2012 at 8:15am - intimacy - by sosadbuttrue - Switzerland (Glarus)
Today, I stayed up until 4 am. I was waiting for both my cats to fall asleep, so I could play Santa and stuff their stockings in secret. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14047) - you deserved it (44578)
On 12/25/2011 at 6:39am - animals - by Anonymoose (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)
Today, for breakfast, there were scrambled eggs, boiled eggs, bacon, sausages, fresh bread, croissants, brownies, donuts, fruit smoothie, coffee, tea and orange juice. Too bad no one bothered wake me up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28307) - you deserved it (7343)
On 07/04/2011 at 3:27am - misc - by Gustav Fjorder - Switzerland
Today, while on student exchange in Germany, I was making myself a cup of coffee. When I rummaged around in the fridge, my room-mates asked me what I was looking for. I said I wanted to put "samen" in my coffee. They laughed. Ah yes, "sahne" means "cream". "Samen" means "sperm". FML
I agree, your life sucks (21246) - you deserved it (8051) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 07/02/2011 at 5:50pm - intimacy - by Hum - Switzerland (Ticino)
Today, my family went out to dinner at a seafood restaurant. While we were eating our food, my grandma demanded to see the manager, and loudly complained that her fish was "too fishy". FML
I agree, your life sucks (24860) - you deserved it (2917)
On 06/25/2011 at 4:39pm - misc - by Anonymous - Switzerland (Vaud)
Today, one of my students corrected the problem I had solved on the board, explaining that you do multiplication before subtraction. I teach the second grade. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8446) - you deserved it (43009)
On 06/24/2011 at 2:47am - work - by gutav indogop - Switzerland (Aargau)
Today, my girlfriend bought several packs of bottled water, even though we have pure mountain water on tap. She did this because the pile-up of unwashed dishes in the sink makes it virtually impossible to slide a glass under the tap. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8084) - you deserved it (30028) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 06/17/2011 at 9:25pm - love - by Anonyme - Switzerland (Fribourg)
Today, my dad awkwardly asked me how to selectively clear his browser history. Apparently, my mom discovered his browsing habits and tore him a new one for looking at "nothing but vile smut". FML
I agree, your life sucks (20976) - you deserved it (2220)
On 06/11/2011 at 2:37am - intimacy - by dadisgoatboy - Switzerland (Aargau)
Today, my boss told me I'm not working hard enough because I take French classes two mornings a week and therefore I won't be getting a promotion. If I want the promotion I have to stop taking my French classes. These are the same French classes I was told I originally needed for the promotion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30990) - you deserved it (2250)
On 05/04/2011 at 1:29pm - money - by French - Switzerland (Vaud)
Today, at work, a customer went to try on a pair of pants. A few minutes later, she hurriedly returned and put the pants back on the shelf without saying anything. I later found out she'd come down with a bout of diarrhea and apparently didn't want to pay for the dry-cleaning. Glamorous. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27638) - you deserved it (2465) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 04/22/2011 at 10:17pm - work - by n77 - Switzerland (Vaud)
Today, I finally learned why the application of lasers, acids, liquid nitrogen and witchcraft never did any good on the huge warts on my hands. Apparently, it's a genetic disease and not a virus. For unknown reasons, I've recently grown the normal viral kind too. On my tongue. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23467) - you deserved it (2906)
On 04/07/2011 at 6:19am - health - by meh. (man) - Switzerland (Bern)
Today, I was going down on my girlfriend. I thought everything was going well, then all of a sudden she gets up and screams at me "IT'S NOT A TACO EATING COMPETITION, CHILL OUT." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17809) - you deserved it (36504)
On 02/23/2011 at 5:06am - intimacy - by failed (man) - Switzerland (Vaud)
Today, one week after my girlfriend berated me for not being invested enough in our relationship, I proposed to her. Her answer? "I meant give me an orgasm, not a ring!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (27169) - you deserved it (8502)
On 01/24/2011 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Limalia (man) - Switzerland (Zurich)
Friday 24 May 2013
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