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FMLs submitted from Switzerland

Today, I was chatting with my choir leader. I told him that I have been thinking about taking singing lessons. His immediate reaction was, "Thank god, finally!" FML

#20474677
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26889) - you deserved it (6384)

On 01/23/2013 at 10:44am - misc - by sdd (woman) - Switzerland (Bern)

Today, I was driving and noticed a police car parked in a spot reserved for the handicapped. I stopped my car and got out to take a picture. The cop gave me a ticket for parking in the road. FML

Today, I had to present a program to my supervisors in University. Not being a native English speaker, I used my own invented abbreviations for parameters in the program. Apparently STD is not an appropriate abbreviation for "standard deviation." I can still hear them laughing. FML

#20156190
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22339) - you deserved it (7602)

On 11/09/2012 at 11:23am - work - by EnglishLearner (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend, when things got a little frisky and we started making out. It was my first time French-kissing, and apparently he has a very sensitive gag reflex, because the moment my tongue went in, he started retching, and vomited moments later. FML

#20134512
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26339) - you deserved it (3511)

On 10/26/2012 at 5:59pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by rapping in a voicemail. FML

#20053776
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28952) - you deserved it (3349)

On 09/02/2012 at 8:44am - love - by rotezora (woman) - Switzerland (Basel-Stadt)

Today, my neighborhood had its annual summer barbecue, and I ended up showing a little boy who lives down the street how to hit a baseball. When I gave him back his bat so he could try for himself, he swung it into my shin and yelled, "Tag! You're it!" FML

#19844556
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22602) - you deserved it (2413)

On 06/25/2012 at 12:09pm - kids - by bcoper (man) - Switzerland (Luzern)

Today, I snuck out of the house for a night on the town. When I got back, I found all the doors and windows bolted shut. My sister's laughing face at my bedroom window suggests I'll be spending the rest of the night outside. FML

#19761318
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10046) - you deserved it (27355)

On 06/09/2012 at 5:15pm - misc - by cock sauce (man) - Switzerland (Luzern)

Today, trying to look cool, I threw my coke bottle in the air, and tried to catch it with one hand. I missed and it fell to the floor. Luckily, it wasn't open, but in my unimaginable stupidity, I opened it less than five seconds later. FML

#19678875
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5943) - you deserved it (36097)

On 05/25/2012 at 3:30pm - misc - by stupidity (woman) - Switzerland (Geneve)

Today, my boyfriend ended our relationship. He called me from his mobile phone, claimed to be a trauma surgeon, and told me with a bad German accent that my "boyfriend" had been in a fatal car crash earlier in the day. What the hell is wrong with this idiot? FML

#19667641
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31721) - you deserved it (4029)

On 05/23/2012 at 1:20pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, I was on the bus during rush hour. A fly started buzzing around my head, and I swatted at it, at the exact moment the woman beside me decided to get out of her seat and put her face straight in the path of my hand. FML

#19502060
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23583) - you deserved it (2863)

On 04/20/2012 at 5:48pm - misc - by apparentlyawomanbeater (man) - Switzerland (Ticino)

Today, after my credit card was stolen, the thief made donations to charitable associations. Now I feel bad for asking for the money back. FML

#18973351
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38182) - you deserved it (3691)

On 02/01/2012 at 11:35pm - money - by zobara - Switzerland

Today, the quality of my sex life reached a new low. I faked my orgasm. And so did he. FML

#18803776
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17784) - you deserved it (25823)

On 01/14/2012 at 8:15am - intimacy - by sosadbuttrue - Switzerland (Glarus)

Today, I stayed up until 4 am. I was waiting for both my cats to fall asleep, so I could play Santa and stuff their stockings in secret. FML

#18605439
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18402) - you deserved it (52797)

On 12/25/2011 at 6:39am - animals - by Anonymoose (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)



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