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FMLs submitted from Sweden

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a handjob in the shower. As I was reaching climax, my mom walked by the bathroom door and started talking to me. My girlfriend didn't stop, and in order to distract from the situation at hand, I had to carry on the conversation with my mom. FML

#15218324
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39067) - you deserved it (10570)

On 03/06/2011 at 1:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I found out that the mysterious yellow mould that won't come off my apartment floor is in fact the remains of a condom my room-mate used when she was f*cking her boyfriend in my bed. Afterwards, she apparently threw it on the floor and let it lie there. For three weeks. FML

#15017196
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34776) - you deserved it (3730)

On 02/17/2011 at 4:27pm - intimacy - by Faluna (woman) - Sweden (Vasterbottens Lan)

Today, I was working as an intern at a day care. One of the kids touched my chest a couple of times, and I jokingly told him that he shouldn't touch old and ugly women like me. So he started groping the little girls instead. When the other teachers asked him why, he said I had told him to. FML

#14974014
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30642) - you deserved it (11413)

On 02/14/2011 at 1:51pm - kids - by Mikabe (woman) - Sweden (Varmlands Lan)

Today, my phone decided to delete all my numbers. I posted on Facebook that people should message or text me if they felt like I should have their number. I didn't get a single reply. FML

#14825701
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31166) - you deserved it (6083)

On 02/03/2011 at 11:42am - misc - by Kere (man) - Sweden (Hallands Lan)

Today, for an eight hour flight to Copenhagen, Denmark, I paid extra to get a seat offering more leg room. Unfortunately, the man behind me was so tall, his knees were pressing against my back the entire flight. FML

#14600562
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20964) - you deserved it (3287)

On 01/16/2011 at 12:17pm - money - by jetlagged (woman) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, I realized the birthmark I have on my chest isn't a birthmark at all; it's a third nipple. FML

#14534141
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38192) - you deserved it (4076)

On 01/10/2011 at 3:35pm - health - by triplenipple (man) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, I asked my boyfriend if my ass looked big in my new jeans. He looked, and then started singing "I like big butts and I cannot lie". FML

Today, I saw a girl on the subway that I knew so I started waving frantically. She gave me a really weird expression and moved quickly away from me. Then I realised that I only knew her because I had stalked her Facebook once. FML

#14381626
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8086) - you deserved it (47866)

On 12/29/2010 at 11:30am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my family is going to the USA for Christmas after being lucky and getting their tickets re-booked. My ticket was canceled due to the snow, and will not be re-booked. Merry Christmas to me, myself and a bottle of wine. FML

#14269237
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25779) - you deserved it (2338)

On 12/20/2010 at 4:27am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I dropped my remote behind the bed and went to reach for it. Instead of the remote, I grabbed hold of a rat carcass that must have got in when builders were working in my bathroom several weeks ago. FML

#14221771
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27869) - you deserved it (3148)

On 12/16/2010 at 6:54am - misc - by xxmollyxx (woman) - Sweden

Today, I woke up after a dream where I got it good from none other than Arnold Schwarzenegger. The problem? I'm a guy, and straight. Apparently my subconscious has a fetish for old Austrian bodybuilders. FML

#14081399
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28370) - you deserved it (6040)

On 12/04/2010 at 6:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, my cute co-worker asked if he could use my computer. I told him my password and went to the bathroom. When I came back he said he'd finished. I tried to log in, but my password wouldn't work. I then noticed a post-it note on the desk saying, "Stop stalking me and I'll change the password back." FML

#13959673
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8814) - you deserved it (35158)

On 11/24/2010 at 8:18am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I was late for work and got chewed out by my boss. To console myself I decided to drink a cup of coffee and a cup of tea. My work provides this for free. When I did, my boss told me that in fact it wasn't, nor has it ever been, free; all this time I've been stealing other people's coffee. FML

#13812694
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9617) - you deserved it (27973)

On 11/12/2010 at 7:07am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Sweden (Hallands Lan)



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