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FMLs submitted from Spain

Today, my husband and I went to marriage counselling. I confessed something that was bothering me, but he didn't understand. Our counselor repeated word-for-word what I said right back at him. He turned to me angrily and shouted, "Why couldn't you just say that the first time?!" FML

#20127131
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25847) - you deserved it (2502)

On 10/21/2012 at 7:11pm - love - by madari (woman) - Spain (Andalucia)

Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML

#20035593
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27948) - you deserved it (3811)

On 08/22/2012 at 12:33pm - intimacy - by Confused (woman) - Spain (Madrid)

Today, I woke up after a night of partying and heavy drinking. Apparently word travels quickly, because everyone now knows that I spent hours lying in an empty bathtub, rubbing shampoo over my body with the expectation that it'd increase my penis size. FML

#19726729
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7728) - you deserved it (31260)

On 06/03/2012 at 1:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Spain (Castilla y Leon)

Today, while putting on a load of laundry, I squeezed the detergent bottle and it made a noise like a woman's orgasm. After laughing, I realised that I'm probably too immature to be washing my own clothes. FML

#19521311
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10452) - you deserved it (25664)

On 04/24/2012 at 10:03am - intimacy - by mmmtortilla (woman) - Spain (Pais Vasco)

Today, I was trying on some clothes in the store's changing room, when someone reached under the door and grabbed my purse, shoes, and pants. FML

#19511561
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24351) - you deserved it (2659)

On 04/22/2012 at 3:08pm - misc - by Gitana (woman) - Spain (Navarra)

Today, I finally told my girlfriend of four months that I love her. Her response was, "Uh... thanks?" FML

#17162598
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35343) - you deserved it (8189)

On 07/18/2011 at 12:05pm - love - by womanlover12345 - Spain

Today, I had my first job interview for eight months. My interviewer noticeably yawned during my reply to the first question. FML

#15975496
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23755) - you deserved it (4368)

On 04/29/2011 at 7:36am - work - by Kebabjoon (man) - Spain

Today, I tried a new sugar scrub soap that's supposed to help get rid of cellulite. I didn't read the instructions correctly and now as well as still having the cellulite, my butt looks like I got a massage from an angry cat. FML

#15144008
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6948) - you deserved it (30082)

On 02/27/2011 at 9:20pm - health - by shirley (woman) - Spain

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML

#13432324
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37337) - you deserved it (21488)

On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)

Today, while tuning my bass guitar, I noticed a very strange screeching sound. I leaned over to look behind the neck. The biggest string snapped off and cut the side of my face. FML

#11295929
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34145) - you deserved it (4413)

On 06/18/2010 at 7:09pm - misc - by jooshuarr - Spain (Comunidad Valenciana)

Today, my car crashed and the only refuge was at a nearby house, the resident of which was a crazy psycho. Now replace "crazy psycho" with "crazy ex-girlfriend who won't help you unless you compose a poem about how much you love her." FML

#6420890
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30077) - you deserved it (4503)

On 11/23/2009 at 11:40am - love - by worsethanzombies (man) - Spain (Madrid)

Today, my daughter turned 11. Since she LOVES Harry Potter, I decided to write her an acceptance letter to Hogwarts. When she saw the letter, she screamed and showed me. When she found out I wrote it, she told me she hated me, started crying, and stepped on my foot. FML

#3796227
577 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30160) - you deserved it (89231)

On 07/16/2009 at 6:16am - kids - by notawizard (woman) - Spain (Catalonia)

Today, I went to a restaurant for lunch. The waiter brought some bread and I started eating it as I waited for him to take my order. When he approached me he looked at me and said, "Don't eat too much bread honey. It'll make you fatter." Not fat, fatter. I never thought of myself as fat. FML

#3746526
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41359) - you deserved it (6377)

On 07/14/2009 at 2:03pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Madrid)



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