FMLs submitted from South Africa

Today, my friend and I offered a hot girl a lift home from campus. I was sitting in the passenger seat and she climbed in behind me. As I adjusted my seat forward to give her more leg room, my friend pulled off - slamming my seat back into her legs. FML

by tukkies / 10/03/2010 at 5:23am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Transportation

Today, I took pictures of myself and my girlfriend doing naughty things together on my camera. My mom later asked me if she could borrow the camera for the weekend. Without thinking, I gave her the camera. FML

by weezel / 08/31/2010 at 9:13am / South Africa (Western Cape) / Intimacy

Today, I discovered that I have developed a latex allergy. I'm a third year medical student. FML

by Sally19863 / 08/30/2010 at 12:18pm / South Africa (Gauteng) / Health

Today, I was woken up because the police were pounding on my door, and saying I am under arrest for stealing road signs. My friends went drinking last night and thought it would be funny to steal seven stop signs, four bus stop signs, and two children crossing signs then plant them on my front lawn. FML

by Busted / 07/26/2010 at 8:26am / South Africa / Miscellaneous

Today, while driving on a totally deserted, long, straight road in the middle of the bush, I sneezed and drove right into a pole on the side of the road. It was the only pole for over 50 km. FML

by Mikimiks93 / 07/02/2010 at 11:05am / South Africa (Limpopo) / Transportation

Today, a customer came into the music shop I work in to look at guitars. After calling the customer "Dude," and "Man," numerous times, they stalked off suddenly. When I asked if everything was okay, they responded with, "I'm female, you asshole!" FML

by Z88 / 04/21/2010 at 4:29pm / South Africa (Western Cape) / Work

Today, after confronting my husband about lack of intimacy in our marriage, I found him playing with himself. His response to my shock was ‘This is less work and less involving.’ FML

by Anonymous / 03/15/2010 at 10:05am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Intimacy

Today, I had a sip of my coffee and felt a lump of some kind enter my mouth. I thought it was a bit of biscuit, and then remembered I didn't have biscuits this morning with my coffee. I took it out of my mouth and it was a huge black fly. I then spat the rest of my coffee all over my laptop. FML

by jess / 03/07/2010 at 9:08am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Geek

Today, I jokingly asked my husband if he was going to make it to our first child's Christening as there was a football match on at the same time. Without hesitating, he replyed that he would just watch the recording. He meant the recording of the Christenting. He was serious. FML

by Anonymous / 02/28/2010 at 9:26am / South Africa (Eastern Cape) / Kids

Today, I invited my boss for supper as we get on pretty well. Everything was going well, until my German Shepherd bit him. FML

by MikeIsMaster / 02/16/2010 at 5:46am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Work

Today, I went to a dress up party. The theme was pirates and prostitutes. At the door I was handed a voucher that said: 'Thank you for dressing up. Collect your free drink at the bar.' I didn't dress up. FML

by notaprossie / 02/03/2010 at 3:42am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Miscellaneous

Today, my father asked me to never contact him again. The reason? His "new" family doesn't know I exist and explaining that he has a 28 year old daughter to his wife and his other children would be "awkward". I have siblings that I will never meet. FML

by forgottendaughter / 01/17/2010 at 9:41am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother forwarded me an email my stepdad had sent her because he was annoyed that I left a light on last night. Talk about communication problems. I wonder how I'm going to tell them I'm pregnant. FML

by Anonymous / 01/03/2010 at 5:36am / South Africa (Western Cape) / Health