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FMLs submitted from South Africa

Today, I was talking with a close friend (who is a virgin) about why he did not want to have sex with a prostitute. He told me that "It's not nice to know that the girl you are having sex with has slept with half the country", he then added "That is exactly why I would not have sex with you". FML

#4307488
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14980) - you deserved it (55908)

On 08/05/2009 at 12:29pm - intimacy - by unlucky (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I was really upset after work, and tearily asked my boyfriend to bring something over to cheer me up when he visited later. An hour or so later he arrived, having bought me a brand new large purple dildo to "brighten my mood". FML

#4103761
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38867) - you deserved it (16126)

On 07/28/2009 at 9:34am - intimacy - by BigPurplePresent (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, I was texting a friend of mine. She mentioned it was her dad's birthday. I typed "Tell him Happy Birthday for me!" and as I pressed send I remember her dad was dead. FML

#3169112
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19900) - you deserved it (40596)

On 06/24/2009 at 8:11am - misc - by blind (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I was painting the garage door. After 3 hours, I finally finished the job. As I was walking back inside, accidentally pressed the button that opens and closes the garage door. Not only did the paint job get messed up as it went up, the paint also dripped onto my parents brand new car. FML

#2735407
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32128) - you deserved it (20834)

On 06/09/2009 at 3:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Free State)

Today, I went to a huge party. My ex boyfriend was there who I still have feelings for, so I decided to make him jealous by making out with the really drunk guy next to me. While we were making out, he threw up in my mouth and all over me. Everybody found it hysterical including my ex. FML

#2686671
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13024) - you deserved it (81944)

On 06/07/2009 at 9:50am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Free State)

Today, I was looking online for an alternative number for the interior decorator that is making curtains for me because I couldn't get hold of him. Instead of his number I found a website warning people about him, saying he is a conman. I paid a very big deposit. FML

#2302399
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42867) - you deserved it (16437)

On 05/26/2009 at 3:48am - money - by Screwed (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, my family returned from a holiday in Egypt. A holiday that I really wanted to spend with them. As if leaving me behind wasn't bad enough, they then made me watch a 200 picture slideshow of how much fun they had. FML

#2206074
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40483) - you deserved it (3052)

On 05/23/2009 at 7:51am - misc - by MdT (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, whilst presenting a report to the head of my college, I was arrested by a police officer for assault. I was in a bar the night before and accidentally bumped into a local tough guy on the way to the toilet. I got punched in the face. The witnesses got our names mixed up. That'll look great on my CV. FML

#2073535
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44391) - you deserved it (2309)

On 05/19/2009 at 3:46am - work - by AntSimo (man) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, is my mothers birthday. I decided to take her out to lunch. On the way there, we had a car accident. It was my fault. For my mothers birthday I gave her: 3 broken ribs. FML

#1688990
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41326) - you deserved it (12540)

On 05/06/2009 at 11:47am - health - by FortuneFaded (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I used an airplane bathroom. I used a paper seat cover because I didn't want my butt to touch the seat. The seat cover clogged the toilet. I stuck my hand in and fished the seat cover out. I essentially stuck my hand into an airplane toilet because I didn't want my ass to touch the seat. FML

#1186504
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12115) - you deserved it (64347)

On 04/21/2009 at 5:30am - misc - by Jen (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, I was the first one to wear the ugly corporate shirts we received. The people in my office-all of them guys were all saying that it looked a lot better than they thought it would. Later that day I went to the toilet and saw the shirt gapes open in front and you could see my boobs. FML

#882565
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38615) - you deserved it (15379)

On 04/09/2009 at 4:44am - work - by Uglyshirts (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, after weeks of agonising, I told my best friend (who I am madly in love with) that I love her. She said: "me too, you're like a brother and a best girlfriend rolled into one!" FML

#102544
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47541) - you deserved it (3948)

On 02/22/2009 at 5:01am - love - by Reaper - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, at a strategy session my manager displayed a flow chart of his employees. I wasn't included. Apparently I had been fired and they forgot to tell me. FML

#85047
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48627) - you deserved it (1677)

On 02/20/2009 at 12:30am - work - by Noname (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)



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