Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from South Africa

Today, my twelve year old neighbour decided to give a Hannah Montana concert in her backyard, starring herself. Unfortunately, she only knew three lines of the song "The Best of Both Worlds" and screamed them repeatedly at the top of her lungs. FML

#15467016
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33425) - you deserved it (4126)

On 03/24/2011 at 3:07pm - kids - by Angie (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, my mom and I were escorted out of the KFC because my mom tried to mug and pick a fight with another customer. FML

#14854535
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27330) - you deserved it (3408)

On 02/05/2011 at 4:28pm - misc - by lifesux - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, I was in a very crowded train coming home from work. I saw a cute guy sitting across from me. As I lifted my one leg to hook it over my other leg, I let out a loud fart. All I could do was sit there and wait for my stop. FML

#14368305
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23477) - you deserved it (9272)

On 12/28/2010 at 10:39am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, I got a ride in a friend's car. As I sat down, her younger brother started laughing hysterically from the backseat. In between giggles, he admitted he peed there a few minutes ago. FML

#14223629
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25126) - you deserved it (2275)

On 12/16/2010 at 12:07pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I went to see a psychiatrist for my depression and low self esteem. While in the waiting room, I overheard a guy telling his friend how ugly I am. FML

#14023842
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28987) - you deserved it (2603)

On 11/29/2010 at 1:58pm - health - by sadness - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, the hooker I have been seeing regularly for almost a year texted me to say she thinks we should no longer see each other again. I just got dumped by a hooker. FML

#13915907
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14994) - you deserved it (51583)

On 11/20/2010 at 8:06pm - intimacy - by pst - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, I arrived home to find my cat dead and note saying, "Sorry, I tripped over him." Not only is my cat dead, but I was robbed by a polite thief. FML

#13841741
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49022) - you deserved it (2314)

On 11/14/2010 at 2:51pm - animals - by Anonymous - South Africa

Today, my friend and I offered a hot girl a lift home from campus. I was sitting in the passenger seat and she climbed in behind me. As I adjusted my seat forward to give her more leg room, my friend pulled off - slamming my seat back into her legs. FML

#13300541
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21638) - you deserved it (3649)

On 10/03/2010 at 5:23am - misc - by tukkies (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I took pictures of myself and my girlfriend doing naughty things together on my camera. My mom later asked me if she could borrow the camera for the weekend. Without thinking, I gave her the camera. FML

#12836221
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9978) - you deserved it (45468)

On 08/31/2010 at 9:13am - intimacy - by weezel (man) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, I discovered that I have developed a latex allergy. I'm a third year medical student. FML

#12820970
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28003) - you deserved it (2390)

On 08/30/2010 at 12:18pm - misc - by Sally19863 - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I was woken up because the police were pounding on my door, and saying I am under arrest for stealing road signs. My friends went drinking last night and thought it would be funny to steal seven stop signs, four bus stop signs, and two children crossing signs then plant them on my front lawn. FML

#12120834
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32019) - you deserved it (3464)

On 07/26/2010 at 8:26am - misc - by Busted (man) - South Africa

Today, while driving on a totally deserted, long, straight road in the middle of the bush, I sneezed and drove right into a pole on the side of the road. It was the only pole for over 50 km. FML

#11610497
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32055) - you deserved it (6676)

On 07/02/2010 at 11:05am - misc - by Mikimiks93 (woman) - South Africa (Limpopo)

Today, a customer came into the music shop I work in to look at guitars. After calling the customer "Dude," and "Man," numerous times, they stalked off suddenly. When I asked if everything was okay, they responded with, "I'm female, you asshole!" FML

#10044709
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8847) - you deserved it (28366)

On 04/21/2010 at 4:29pm - work - by Z88 - South Africa (Western Cape)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: