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FMLs submitted from South Africa

Today, my girlfriend got her period. It seemed more painful for her than usual, so I offered to go out and buy some painkillers and maybe some chocolate for her. She thought I was being sarcastic and slapped me so hard I saw stars. FML

#21245120
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38880) - you deserved it (3451)

On 08/25/2014 at 2:58pm - misc - by nhyari (man) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, after a long silent and awkward pause after asking my girlfriend's dad if I can take her on holiday for Christmas, he looked me dead in the eyes and said "No, you may not impregnate my daughter." FML

#21243591
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38999) - you deserved it (4709)

On 08/23/2014 at 3:34am - intimacy - by Dafuq happen there - South Africa

Today, my teenage daughter faked a suicide because I bought her a Samsung instead of an iPhone for her birthday. FML

#21198840
330 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54994) - you deserved it (11307)

On 07/04/2014 at 8:15pm - kids - by iphonerevolution - South Africa

Today, I had to inform a patient that she has an STD. She reacted by kicking me in the nuts. FML

#21140637
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48978) - you deserved it (4381)

On 05/15/2014 at 1:08pm - health - by bruised_scrotum - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I woke up to a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I jumped out of bed in panic and rushed into the bathroom, only to see my sister limping around in the nude. She'd just jumped out of the shower because someone had flushed the toilet downstairs. FML

#21135014
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35745) - you deserved it (3874)

On 05/09/2014 at 6:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - South Africa

Today, I'm in the process of adopting a child. When I called my mom to tell her the news, she just said, "Oh honey, don't adopt, it's the worst decision you'll ever make." I'm adopted. FML

#21110479
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47176) - you deserved it (2971)

On 04/11/2014 at 5:58pm - kids - by babylove - South Africa

Today, an elderly man had to give me money to pay for my grocery bill because my sister broke down crying in the store as I didn't have enough money to pay for both her milkshake and cookies. She's 19. FML

#21088268
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38096) - you deserved it (4078)

On 03/16/2014 at 4:10pm - money - by skyeraven (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

Today, I was struggling through small-talk at a party where I knew nobody. Tattoos came up and I started talking about trendy, girly tattoos like feathers, anchors and infinity signs with stupid words in them. Turns out the girl I was talking to had all three. FML

#21065212
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38656) - you deserved it (10308)

On 02/19/2014 at 2:17am - misc - by thisismyawkwardface (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, in the middle of telling my mother about my engagement, she suddenly broke down in tears about her problems at work and her loveless marriage, and abruptly hung up on me. FML

Today, I realised after showering that I didn't have a towel, so I thought I would risk a naked dash to my brother's room to steal one of his. He and his friend were in the room and both agreed that I needed a "trim". FML

#21019082
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48860) - you deserved it (20264)

On 01/06/2014 at 1:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - South Africa

Today, my boss decided that a mug and a public 'thank you' were a sufficient substitute for a Christmas bonus. FML

#20998949
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35828) - you deserved it (3487)

On 12/20/2013 at 9:27am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, I had to explain to my mother that faith healing will not work on plumbing. FML



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