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FMLs submitted from South Africa

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 5 years. She bitched me out for not getting the ring she had been "hinting" me to get, and angrily left. FML

#21298350
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34847) - you deserved it (4118)

On 11/13/2014 at 1:50pm - love - by Anonymous - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, I woke up to a text from my manager, saying "Hed's up dude, ur gettin fired tomoz. CEO's pissed. No hard feelins m8". Great. FML

#21287630
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32167) - you deserved it (2496)

On 10/29/2014 at 11:46am - work - by fired tomoz (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, my boss asked about the mass of deep scratches on my arm. I lied and told him it happened while I was trying to save my cat from a tree. Truth is, my cat is a sadistic asshole who stalks me and mauls me whenever he can. FML

#21286814
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31363) - you deserved it (4960)

On 10/28/2014 at 3:40am - animals - by thewrittenrebel - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in the missionary position. Once again, our cat decided to crawl onto his back and stare at me. FML

#21276776
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33306) - you deserved it (4544)

On 10/13/2014 at 6:20am - intimacy - by Drafrica (woman) - South Africa

Today, I found my first grey hair. How? My boyfriend stopped in the middle of sex to point it out. FML

#21274083
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34137) - you deserved it (3193)

On 10/09/2014 at 6:27am - love - by MoRuined (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, it's been two months since I started a three-year contract at a new job. So far, 5 people have resigned. Pretty sure I've joined a sinking ship. FML

#21264311
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30375) - you deserved it (2597)

On 09/24/2014 at 3:15am - work - by SinkingShip (woman) - South Africa

Today, my girlfriend got her period. It seemed more painful for her than usual, so I offered to go out and buy some painkillers and maybe some chocolate for her. She thought I was being sarcastic and slapped me so hard I saw stars. FML

#21245120
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40471) - you deserved it (3492)

On 08/25/2014 at 2:58pm - misc - by nhyari (man) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, after a long silent and awkward pause after asking my girlfriend's dad if I can take her on holiday for Christmas, he looked me dead in the eyes and said "No, you may not impregnate my daughter." FML

#21243591
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42241) - you deserved it (4840)

On 08/23/2014 at 3:34am - intimacy - by Dafuq happen there - South Africa

Today, my teenage daughter faked a suicide because I bought her a Samsung instead of an iPhone for her birthday. FML

#21198840
334 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55239) - you deserved it (11340)

On 07/04/2014 at 8:15pm - kids - by iphonerevolution - South Africa

Today, I had to inform a patient that she has an STD. She reacted by kicking me in the nuts. FML

#21140637
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49807) - you deserved it (4454)

On 05/15/2014 at 1:08pm - health - by bruised_scrotum - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I woke up to a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I jumped out of bed in panic and rushed into the bathroom, only to see my sister limping around in the nude. She'd just jumped out of the shower because someone had flushed the toilet downstairs. FML

#21135014
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35760) - you deserved it (3876)

On 05/09/2014 at 6:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - South Africa

Today, I'm in the process of adopting a child. When I called my mom to tell her the news, she just said, "Oh honey, don't adopt, it's the worst decision you'll ever make." I'm adopted. FML

#21110479
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47283) - you deserved it (2976)

On 04/11/2014 at 5:58pm - kids - by babylove - South Africa

Today, an elderly man had to give me money to pay for my grocery bill because my sister broke down crying in the store as I didn't have enough money to pay for both her milkshake and cookies. She's 19. FML

#21088268
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38198) - you deserved it (4085)

On 03/16/2014 at 4:10pm - money - by skyeraven (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)



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