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FMLs submitted from Singapore

Today, I took a nap because I've been sick for the past week and I was exhausted. When I woke up, my hair, shirt, pillow, and bedsheets were soaked. I threw up all over myself in my sleep. FML

#14095720
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30150) - you deserved it (2818)

On 12/05/2010 at 1:25pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Singapore

Today, my son told his teacher that she "has a nice rack." He's four. FML

#14079841
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28204) - you deserved it (10449)

On 12/04/2010 at 1:50am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Singapore

Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, I was struck with a white-hot pain, and in the confusion thought her vagina had contracted hard. It turned out it was actually my uncircumcised penis retracting for the first time in my life. FML

#13975115
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24827) - you deserved it (6908)

On 11/25/2010 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Singapore

Today, on my first day of work, my new boss treated me to lunch. Thinking she was really nice, I thanked her for the treat. She fixed me with a cold, unsmiling stare and said, "Oh, don't thank me. I'm being paid to do this." FML

#13967011
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23282) - you deserved it (2280)

On 11/24/2010 at 9:32pm - work - by niceboss (woman) - Singapore

Today, I went shopping with my parents. Halfway through, I got separated from them and tried to call them only to find out my cell phone battery was flat. A few minutes later, an announcement was made for a lost child. It was by my parents. I'm 36. FML

#13957854
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30805) - you deserved it (4687)

On 11/24/2010 at 2:35am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Singapore

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. He got a text and reached over to get his phone. In the process, he elbowed my face and busted my lip. He laughed. FML

#13764979
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24707) - you deserved it (3691)

On 11/08/2010 at 1:34pm - health - by Anon - Singapore

Today, I caught my dad eating the dog treats I'd bought for my dog. The only thing he could say was "These are really good, no wonder the dog is so obedient. Wanna try one?" FML

#13684464
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22348) - you deserved it (3169)

On 11/02/2010 at 3:13am - animals - by treats - Singapore

Today, I found out that the reason I'm working as a kitchen staff instead of out on the floor of the café is because the boss does not think I'm attractive enough. My boss is my brother. FML

#13561259
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27174) - you deserved it (3596)

On 10/23/2010 at 11:13am - work - by Dude - Singapore

Today, my co-worker insisted there must be an underlying, romantic reason for why I spend so much time teaching him everything, and that I didn't mean it when I told him that's what I'm paid to do. I'm actually supposed to train this guy for three weeks. Two more weeks to go. FML

#13547625
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23397) - you deserved it (2339)

On 10/22/2010 at 6:57am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Singapore

Today, I found my brother tampering with my laptop. He had changed the entire settings, in ways I don't even know how to fix. I finally had to get my mom to threaten him to change it back to its original setting. I'm 15. He's six and can barely get dressed by himself. FML

#13455982
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22727) - you deserved it (8735)

On 10/15/2010 at 4:33am - misc - by fmlforreal - Singapore

Today, my boyfriend dumped me because 'I look like his hamster when I'm eating sunflower seeds.' FML

#13285229
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28240) - you deserved it (5281)

On 10/02/2010 at 2:28am - love - by ohman - Singapore

Today, I came home to my wife crying. She had mixed up our newborn twin girls and couldn't tell which was which. I looked at the girls. Neither could I. FML

#12953032
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52225) - you deserved it (7862)

On 09/07/2010 at 7:48pm - kids - by uselessdad - Singapore

Today, to be nice, I baked cookies for my step-mom as a birthday present. I burnt my hand while putting them in the oven, but I'd hoped it would be worth it. When she got home, I gave one for her to try. She took a bite, spit it out, and threw it on the floor, asking if it was a joke or if I was really trying to poison her. FML

#12538079
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27939) - you deserved it (3124)

On 08/15/2010 at 12:05pm - health - by shinee - Singapore



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