FMLs submitted from Singapore

Today, I found out that I was adopted. I'm 46 years old with 11 real siblings and no one bothered to tell me until I found the documents in my dead adoptive father's house. FML

by Ariella / 08/29/2011 at 12:06am / Singapore / Miscellaneous

Today, I got into a fight with my boyfriend. The only thing he could think of to cheer me up was to give me "permission" to give him a blowjob. FML

by noway / 08/10/2011 at 1:47pm / Singapore / Intimacy

Today, my extremely paranoid boyfriend called me a whore and threatened to break up with me, all because he had a dream in which I had sex with my ex. I'm still a virgin. FML

by wronged / 07/08/2011 at 4:41am / Singapore / Intimacy

Today, a sweet old lady gave up her seat for me in the bus. She lectured to the entire bus that seats should be given to those in need, like myself who is heavily pregnant. I am just fat. FML

by Preggie / 07/07/2011 at 12:04am / Singapore / Miscellaneous

Today, I laughed when I saw my ex-girlfriend in her overall uniform, thinking she'd got a job as a janitor. Turns out she's as professional marine welder. She's 22 years old and earns my monthly salary in three days. My current girlfriend who was there with me called me a loser in front of her. FML

by eatmywords / 07/05/2011 at 3:06am / Singapore / Love

Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm a vegan. She replied, "So, you're allergic to meat?" FML

by blondetergent / 06/20/2011 at 4:12am / Singapore / Love

Today, my parents grounded me and took away my phone, iPod and door. That's right, my door. They think that because I was stumbling and couldn't walk straight last night, I must have been out drinking. They know I suffer from chronic vertigo, but don't believe I was having an attack. FML

by sickbaby / 06/11/2011 at 9:06am / Singapore / Health

Today, the elevator in my apartment building broke down. I live on the 30th floor and am still climbing the stairs. FML

by Username / 06/01/2011 at 4:09am / Singapore / Miscellaneous

Today, I inexplicably claimed ownership of someone else's fart in the subway. FML

by anonymous / 05/25/2011 at 10:33am / Singapore / Transportation

Today, my boss called me into his office to proudly show me about an hour's worth of videos of his recent holiday. The videos were all of goats and cows eating grass outside his window in Pakistan. FML

by goatvideosarelame / 05/24/2011 at 3:31am / Singapore / Work

Today, my dad texted me while I was in school saying, "Your cat vomited. Covered it up with a bowl so you can clean it when you come home." FML

by coolbeans123 / 05/10/2011 at 12:37pm / Singapore / Animals

Today, my grandma moved in with us. Along with her 36-year old boyfriend that none of us knew about. FML

by moetplease / 05/03/2011 at 12:32pm / Singapore / Love

Today, the only person who wished me a happy birthday is the policeman who checked my identity card for being "suspiciously gangster-like". FML

by Jims / 04/29/2011 at 10:00am / Singapore / Miscellaneous