Today, I was watching Pokémon with my daughter when she told me that I reminded her of her favorite Pokémon. Feeling good about it, I asked which one. She pointed to the screen and said "Snorlax!" The fat and lazy one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15083) - you totally deserved it (3697)
On 11/15/2009 at 8:45am - kids - by dessaye (woman) - Singapore
Today, I was putting my contacts in when my daughter decided to jump on me from behind to scare me, causing me to poke myself in the eye. I'm now wearing an eye patch due to a scratched cornea while my daughter is singing some song titled "You are a pirate". FML
I agree, your life sucks (16744) - you totally deserved it (1239)
On 11/13/2009 at 5:06am - kids - by dessaye (man) - Singapore
Today, I returned home for the first time in a year, and found my entire computer missing. I asked my grandma about this, and she told me that she threw "the TV" away because it "no longer responded to the remote control." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22965) - you totally deserved it (1305)
On 11/12/2009 at 9:36am - misc - by missmycomp (man) - Singapore
Today, my wife told me that she's pregnant. I said "Really?" in a disbelieving tone, but leaned forward to kiss her anyway. She responded by puking all over my face. Never doubt what a woman says. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16029) - you totally deserved it (5206)
On 11/10/2009 at 4:00am - love - by dessaye (man) - Singapore
Today, while I was eating, my younger sister came over and sat beside me. She started clipping her toenails. Disgusted by it, I turned and opened my mouth to tell her to move somewhere else, just as one flew inside my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19152) - you totally deserved it (2669)
On 10/26/2009 at 2:32pm - misc - by ohhhgross (woman) - Singapore
Today, I went to retrieve my stolen wallet from the train station. After I collected it, I returned to the place where I parked my bike to find that my bike had been stolen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19368) - you totally deserved it (1410)
On 10/22/2009 at 7:29am - misc - by UnluckyTeen (man) - Singapore
Today, I told my girlfriend over MSN that we had to talk. I log on to facebook and the first thing I see is that she changed our relationship from "In a Relationship" to "It's Complicated." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14909) - you totally deserved it (6659)
On 10/21/2009 at 12:07am - love - by wtfrelationship (man) - Singapore
Today, I was on cloud nine when the beautiful waitress I frequently ordered takeaways from told me she didn't need to take my name as she remembers me from before. When I got my food I saw the sales slip. On it she had written, "Cheeseburger - Fries - Coke - nerdy guy with bad haircut." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19277) - you totally deserved it (2814)
Today, my daughter couldn't sleep because her pillow "felt like a rock". I asked if she wanted to use mine and she said no. She then rested her head on my stomach and promptly fell asleep. When she woke up, she told me my fat made the best pillow ever. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13548) - you totally deserved it (3966)
On 10/15/2009 at 1:26pm - kids - by dessaye (man) - Singapore
Today, I saw a man lying on the street. He seemed unconscious, so, being a nurse I went over and found he had choked. I removed the object from his throat and used CPR to revive him. My reward? A mouthful of vomit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24101) - you totally deserved it (2315)
On 10/10/2009 at 8:07am - misc - by Nobody (man) - Singapore
Today, I fainted on the sidewalk. When I woke up, I was still lying on the sidewalk, people were stepping over me and my purse was gone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41004) - you totally deserved it (1797)
On 10/06/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by blackedout (woman) - Singapore
Today, I told my daughter how her eyes look exactly as pretty as my wife's. She told me that she loved the way my eyeballs stick out of my face, just like Elmo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22541) - you totally deserved it (2239)
On 10/03/2009 at 8:33am - kids - by dessaye (man) - Singapore
Today, my daughter learned how to write her name correctly for the first time. Only thing is, she decided to practise writing it all over my body with a sharpie while I was sleeping. Works starts in 30 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19000) - you totally deserved it (2324)
On 10/02/2009 at 9:39am - kids - by dessaye (man) - Singapore
