Today, my husband told me I was lucky to have someone who would love me no matter what my vagina smelled like. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34270) - you deserved it (16377)
On 03/06/2011 at 6:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Reserved
Today, as I was driving home from work, a bird decided to commit suicide by flying in front of my car. The shock caused me to slam on the brakes, totaling three other cars in the process. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21965) - you deserved it (9152)
On 03/01/2011 at 5:21pm - animals - by nothingisreal69 (woman) - Reserved
Today, the day before I was going to move in with my army fiancé, he was told he would be deployed very soon. I can't pay for the apartment without him, and now have to move back in with my parents until he returns from active duty. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23974) - you deserved it (4798)
On 03/01/2011 at 4:08pm - love - by Distraught (woman) - Reserved
Today, I woke up to an angry snake trying to climb the leg of my bed. My bedroom was closed all day yesterday. It must have gotten in my room days ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21421) - you deserved it (2106)
Today, my boyfriend decided to re-enact a scene from Family Guy. He locked me in the car with him and farted deadly ones repeatedly. He wouldn't let me out until I learned to "love the gas." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31797) - you deserved it (6153)
On 01/04/2011 at 3:09pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Reserved
Today, I went to the new gym I recently signed up for and started exercising in the men-filled weights room, despite being intimidated by them and the strange looks they were giving me. Workout over, I left the room and saw in front of me a door marked "Women's weights room". Oh. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8638) - you deserved it (18415)
On 11/16/2010 at 8:21pm - misc - by genderbender (woman) - Reserved
Today, my parents asked me if I had a nice time with my girlfriend at the amusement park I took her to yesterday. She was pretty freaked out by some of the rides so without thinking I said, "Yeah, but she sure is a screamer." My parents then exchange a look and say, "Oh trust us, we know." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9540) - you deserved it (19213)
On 11/14/2010 at 2:36am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Reserved
Today, I'm training to be a nurse in a hospital. Our teacher asked for a volunteer to demonstrate how bed restraints work. After I was shackled to the bed she said, "Now let's make sure they work. Are you ticklish?" My entire class tickled me until I screamed, cried and nearly wet my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25165) - you deserved it (3626)
On 11/03/2010 at 8:08am - work - by nurse (woman) - Reserved
Today, I was called to reports of a drunk and disorderly male. I arrived to discover a drunk man having explosive diarrhoea in a photo booth. He turned to me me and shouted 'God save the Queen'. It's then that I remembered that it's my job to do something about it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23366) - you deserved it (2213)
On 10/14/2010 at 9:42am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Reserved
Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and superiors as well as our clients. About two hours in I started playing with the lid of the pen I was using, next thing I saw was the lid flicking up and hitting my boss square in the middle of the head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6045) - you deserved it (16784)
On 09/10/2010 at 2:28am - work - by theshad (man) - Reserved
Today, my Platoon Sergeant caught me unshaved, so now I have to write a 1000 word essay on "The importance of shaving." FML
I agree, your life sucks (12232) - you deserved it (25713)
Today, I went on a first date, where my date managed to fall in a creek, take me to his house and measure my height, show me family pictures, and perform the Soulja Boy dance in his living room. All while wearing swim trunks because his pants were drying and he didn't have extras. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25896) - you deserved it (5634)
Today, I was making out like a sixteen year old at the high school prom with this guy I kinda liked. All of a sudden, he rolls away and tells me he's "finished." We both had our clothes on the entire time. He is 23, I'm 25. I didn't know that was possible. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13196) - you deserved it (2319)
On 03/02/2010 at 7:38am - intimacy - by virginmary - Reserved
Monday 20 May 2013
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