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FMLs submitted from Reserved

Today, I found my dogs freezing outside. My neighbor was supposed to watch them while I was away, and on my way home I called to let her know she should let them have a quick walk. She thought I'd be home soon enough that she wouldn't have to let them back in. It was minus 10c out. FML

#20436199
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34066) - you deserved it (3762)

On 01/01/2013 at 12:35pm - animals - by Enyo - Reserved

Today, my dog managed to pull a one-pound package of raw bacon out and eat the entire package including the cardboard. The vets cheered when they finally got him to puke up the entire, unchewed package of bacon. FML

Today, a client stared at me in disbelief after I mentioned that I had a boyfriend. FML

#19129542
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23108) - you deserved it (2647)

On 02/21/2012 at 4:53am - work - by kat (woman) - Reserved

Today, I was having lunch at McDonald's when I dropped a French fry down my shirt. It stuck out the top of my bra. Before I had the chance to remove it, a creepy man picked it out and ate it saying that it was the best French fry he had ever eaten. FML

#19000148
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43623) - you deserved it (4542)

On 02/05/2012 at 10:45am - misc - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, I tried to inconspicuously hock a loogie. It went down my bra. FML

#18993154
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6913) - you deserved it (30246)

On 02/04/2012 at 3:22pm - misc - by Courtney - Reserved

Today, while coming back from skiing, a woman asked me if I could help her carry her stroller. I put my skis down and helped her. When I came back to pick my skis up, I saw two guys running away with my gear. You try chasing someone while wearing ski boots. FML

Today, I went to the gynecologist for the first time. I was so nervous that when she extended her hand to shake mine, I gave her my handbag instead. FML

#18792975
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22443) - you deserved it (3686)

On 01/13/2012 at 2:48am - health - by shellie - Reserved

Today, I received a very expensive bottle of wine for Christmas. My alcoholic mother snuck into my house while I was out and drank the whole bottle. FML

#18610644
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25175) - you deserved it (2246)

On 12/25/2011 at 8:35pm - misc - by laststand11 - Reserved

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML

#18531059
175 comments

Today, two American guys attacked me for not speaking their language. I'm from England, and they said I'm speaking my own language wrong. FML

#18525821
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36251) - you deserved it (6286)

On 12/16/2011 at 3:50am - misc - by Brit - Reserved

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML

#18374141
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28627) - you deserved it (8626)

On 11/28/2011 at 7:34am - misc - by Dani - Reserved

Today, I was verbally abused by a guy in a 4-wheel-drive twat-tank for listening to music on my iPod while I was "blocking the way." I was standing on the footpath waiting for a bus. At a bus stop. FML

#18343732
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22542) - you deserved it (2286)

On 11/25/2011 at 1:59am - misc - by Dave B - Reserved

Today, we had a sprint race in gym class which I wasn't looking forward to because I'm a little chubby. The race started and I shot off as fast as I could, somehow in the lead. Everyone was cheering. When I was nearing the finish line I turned around, only to see the race hadn't started yet. FML

#18285625
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35064) - you deserved it (8151)

On 11/18/2011 at 11:54pm - misc - by dan - Reserved



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