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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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FMLs submitted from Reserved

Today, I was having lunch at McDonald's when I dropped a French fry down my shirt. It stuck out the top of my bra. Before I had the chance to remove it, a creepy man picked it out and ate it saying that it was the best French fry he had ever eaten. FML

#19000148 (288)

I agree, your life sucks (11108) - you deserved it (1097)

On 02/05/2012 at 10:45am - misc - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, I tried to inconspicuously hock a loogie. It went down my bra. FML

#18993154 (165)

I agree, your life sucks (1624) - you deserved it (7013)

On 02/04/2012 at 3:22pm - misc - by Courtney - Reserved

Today, while coming back from skiing, a woman asked me if I could help her carry her stroller. I put my skis down and helped her. When I came back to pick my skis up, I saw two guys running away with my gear. You try chasing someone while wearing ski boots. FML

#18794670 (152)

I agree, your life sucks (19025) - you deserved it (2009)

On 01/13/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by magzulism - Reserved

Today, I went to the gynecologist for the first time. I was so nervous that when she extended her hand to shake mine, I gave her my handbag instead. FML

#18792975 (129)

I agree, your life sucks (6194) - you deserved it (1004)

On 01/13/2012 at 2:48am - health - by shellie - Reserved

Today, I received a very expensive bottle of wine for Christmas. My alcoholic mother snuck into my house while I was out and drank the whole bottle. FML

#18610644 (72)

I agree, your life sucks (7907) - you deserved it (627)

On 12/25/2011 at 8:35pm - misc - by laststand11 - Reserved

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML

#18531059 (198)

I agree, your life sucks (24594) - you deserved it (3692)

On 12/16/2011 at 9:29pm - kids - by DocBastard - Reserved

Today, two American guys attacked me for not speaking their language. I'm from England, and they said I'm speaking my own language wrong. FML

#18525821 (54)

I agree, your life sucks (12691) - you deserved it (1627)

On 12/16/2011 at 3:50am - misc - by Brit - Reserved

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML

#18374141 (180)

I agree, your life sucks (8703) - you deserved it (2446)

On 11/28/2011 at 7:34am - misc - by Dani - Reserved

Today, I was verbally abused by a guy in a 4-wheel-drive twat-tank for listening to music on my iPod while I was "blocking the way." I was standing on the footpath waiting for a bus. At a bus stop. FML

#18343732 (120)

I agree, your life sucks (15538) - you deserved it (1373)

On 11/25/2011 at 1:59am - misc - by Dave B - Reserved

Today, we had a sprint race in gym class which I wasn't looking forward to because I'm a little chubby. The race started and I shot off as fast as I could, somehow in the lead. Everyone was cheering. When I was nearing the finish line I turned around, only to see the race hadn't started yet. FML

#18285625 (99)

I agree, your life sucks (11319) - you deserved it (2341)

On 11/18/2011 at 11:54pm - misc - by dan - Reserved

Today, I received a fine for leaving my car at the airport. Each day it's been there, they added an additional $50. My car was stolen two weeks ago. FML

#18281505 (92)

I agree, your life sucks (22217) - you deserved it (1370)

On 11/18/2011 at 2:24pm - misc - by Hunterisawesome - Reserved

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, it's my 21st birthday. My parents' gift was a case of non-alcoholic beer, to "prepare" me for when I "turn 21." My parents can't even remember how old I am. FML

#18177670 (99)

I agree, your life sucks (20403) - you deserved it (1206)

On 11/06/2011 at 7:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, I was in an elevator with my girlfriend when it suddenly stopped. Thinking of being spontaneous like in all the movies, I propped her up on the railings and started getting passionate. That's when the emergency phone rang. And I discovered there was a security camera. FML

#18167673 (153)

I agree, your life sucks (11052) - you deserved it (22397)

On 11/05/2011 at 8:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Reserved