FMLs submitted from Norway

Today, I bought Plan B for the first time. Not because I had unprotected sex, but to make the cashier think someone would actually sleep with me. FML

by Anonymous / 02/26/2010 at 6:11am / Norway (Sor-Trondelag) / Intimacy

Today, I found garbage in my postbox. In amongst the garbage, I found a note saying ''This is all you ever will get. Stay away from me!'', from the girl I sent a love poem to the other day. FML

by mylifeisahell / 02/18/2010 at 10:01am / Norway (Vestfold) / Miscellaneous

Today, it was my turn to take out the trash. While walking to the dumpster, I slip and fall. It doesn't really hurt, so I get up and go to the dumpster, but the top is frozen stuck. It won't budge. Then I really pull with a lot of force, and the lid swings open and busts my nose. FML

by lolographic24 / 02/13/2010 at 8:44am / Norway (Oslo) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my dad bought an iPhone. I've spent the better part of the last six months teaching him how to check his email and online newspapers. FML

by anonymas / 01/29/2010 at 10:29am / Norway (Troms) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up with a hangover. I had a party last night. Besides a stolen TV, someone seemingly decided to take a dump in my piano. FML

by Anonymous / 01/28/2010 at 6:00am / Norway (Telemark) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was vacuuming our house because I wanted to help my parents. I wore a headset while listening to REALLY loud music. The vacuuming job took me two hours and when I took of my headset I noticed that I hadn't started the vacuum cleaner. FML

by Adrian16 / 01/18/2010 at 6:01am / Norway (Vestfold) / Miscellaneous

Today, while standing by the kitchen window I noticed a mouse running across our lawn on top of the snow. I called my two daughters to come see it, but by the time they got to the window a hawk was shredding the poor thing to pieces. My kids didn't stop crying for two hours. FML

by motheroftwo / 01/06/2010 at 3:41am / Norway (Oslo) / Animals

Today, I was sitting on the bus to the gym. I saw that an old woman needed help to get off the bus, so I got up, and helped her off. When I had finally got her down the stairs the bus closed the doors and drove away. I was in the middle of nowhere and the bus drove away with all my things. FML

by busmanhoe / 12/14/2009 at 6:19am / Norway (Hordaland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm travelling to England for an important meeting. I'm Norwegian, and my name is Bård. I have to introduce myself as bored the whole day, because that's how my name is pronounced. FML

by Anonymous / 12/08/2009 at 7:10am / Norway (Rogaland) / Work

Today, my girlfriend woke up very early in terrible pain. I drove her to the hospital and fell asleep in the waiting area. When I woke up, my car was gone and it was 9am. She had assumed I just walked home (32 miles), so she took the car. I was the only one in the waiting area. FML

by nolips / 11/19/2009 at 10:53am / Norway (Oslo) / Transportation

Today, I interviewed potential employees for a job position that I was supposed to get promoted to. FML

by NCanalyst / 11/11/2009 at 3:28pm / Norway (Oslo) / Work

Today, I realized that the only thing I learned from my first serious relationship was how to fake an orgasm. FML

by kjirut / 10/27/2009 at 2:49pm / Norway (Oslo) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the school dentist for the yearly routine check. She took ages trying to clean out my teeth with the metal toothpick-thing, constantly hitting my gums. After half an hour of pain and spitting blood, she looks up and says, laughing: "Oh, I forgot to put my glasses on". FML

by dentistvictim / 10/16/2009 at 3:27am / Norway (Oslo) / Health