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FMLs submitted from New Zealand

Today, I got hit by a Salami log thrown from a car; its metal wire cut my shoulder. I got scarred by a flying hunk of pig. FML

#13320249
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23799) - you deserved it (2349)

On 10/04/2010 at 7:31pm - misc - by ifpigsflew (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I failed my trigonometry exam because my scientific calculator was on the wrong setting. FML

#13192437
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16443) - you deserved it (40668)

On 09/25/2010 at 4:57am - misc - by trigfail - New Zealand (Taranaki)

Today, at work, a three year old chucked a chocolate bar at me. It hit me square in the face. Her father praised her for her "quality arm." FML

#13024649
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22465) - you deserved it (2601)

On 09/12/2010 at 8:08pm - misc - by tenthousandspoon - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I superglued my headphones back together. They weren't dry before I put them back in my ears. FML

Today, my fiancée broke up with me because of an argument about a printer. FML

#12716438
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30557) - you deserved it (5530)

On 08/24/2010 at 4:19am - love - by T.T (woman) - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he wanted for for his birthday in a couple of days. He replied "to be single" and walked out of the room. FML

#12449914
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38565) - you deserved it (3970)

On 08/11/2010 at 6:40am - love - by gutsforme (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I applied for a job and sent my CV, then realised I sent the example CV I got off the internet. Now they think Bob Brown who lives at 123 Sunshine Street is applying for a job. FML

#12261661
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8571) - you deserved it (33298)

On 08/02/2010 at 5:50am - work - by Julia (woman) - New Zealand (Otago)

Today, my fiancée told me she was having a bad day while we were lying in bed. Just as she was about to fall asleep I thought it would be sweet if I sang her a song that her Mom sang to her when she was a child. Instead, I was told to shut the fuck up and that I sucked. FML

#10962269
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35288) - you deserved it (14076)

On 06/04/2010 at 5:38am - love - by badsinger (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I fell asleep and dreamed that I had won $500,000. In my dream, I used this money to buy a new MP3 Player, and then put the rest in a term deposit. Even in my dreams, I'm the most boring person I know. FML

#10448158
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28084) - you deserved it (7251)

On 05/10/2010 at 6:14am - money - by boring (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I decided to quit smoking. During my lunch break, I tried to ash a KitKat bar that was in my hand after I took a bite. FML

#10166473
312 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25386) - you deserved it (15720)

On 04/26/2010 at 5:42pm - misc - by Michelle (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, after church, my 5-year-old son asked me about God, so I answered his questions in full. We talked about God for over 2 hours. At the end of it all, he pondered for a moment, before saying to me "That's the stupidest thing I ever heard. You're dumb." FML

#9721953
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24722) - you deserved it (55516)

On 04/08/2010 at 12:27am - kids - by bleredoshia (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I congratulated my friend for getting engaged. This is the fourth friend of mine this year that has become engaged. I haven't even had a boyfriend yet. FML

#8992820
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26538) - you deserved it (5012)

On 03/11/2010 at 7:16am - love - by Lonely (woman) - New Zealand

Today, on the train to work, the train guard was hot and I became stupidly nervous. I'm very shy and was trying to avoid eye-contact. He said 'THANK YOU', in a pissed off tone of voice and glared at me. I had absent-mindedly been staring in the direction of his prosthetic arm the entire time. FML

#8658326
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21311) - you deserved it (6091)

On 02/26/2010 at 4:09am - misc - by ilovecowboys (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)



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