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FMLs submitted from New Zealand

Today, in science, we were studying reproduction. Our teacher was reading out the notes and claimed that 'the female's penis stiffens to enter the male's vagina.' I'm supposed to be learning stuff from this woman. FML

#16892674
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41711) - you deserved it (3751)

On 06/28/2011 at 2:39am - intimacy - by girlshavepenises (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I woke up at 4:40AM and went to the kitchen. My brother and his steel-capped boots easily found me in the dark. FML

#16005260
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23905) - you deserved it (3387)

On 05/01/2011 at 2:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Southland)

Today, my boyfriend of nearly two years broke up with me because he's sick of me being annoyed at him. Why am I annoyed at him? Because he wants to go and spend a week with his ex. FML

#15975919
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35718) - you deserved it (4803)

On 04/29/2011 at 8:53am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Gisborne)

Today, one of my really close friends changed from being 'free' to 'quite busy' in the space of one conversation because I suggested that we hang out. FML

#15870197
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25525) - you deserved it (3135)

On 04/21/2011 at 4:33am - misc - by gutted (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, my wife told me that she was leaving me for someone with more hair. FML

#15617412
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42697) - you deserved it (4327)

On 04/03/2011 at 5:16am - love - by Baldy (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I annoyed my friend by texting him 'meow' over and over at random times of the day because when he's drunk he meows in his sleep. Apparently a great way to get back at me was to tell my parents I wasn't a virgin and that I got high on Wednesday. He had pictures to prove it for both. FML

#15442777
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22072) - you deserved it (62616)

On 03/23/2011 at 12:40am - intimacy - by Fcuked (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I put signs up in the lifts at work with my name and desk phone number as the contact in case the lifts break down. I work in IT so there are hundreds of men in the building. Someone has already drawn a very wonky heart next to my name. FML

#15349045
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18764) - you deserved it (4828)

On 03/17/2011 at 6:00am - work - by Peppermint (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I walked ten miles to pick up my car from the towing station. Turns out there was enough change for the parking meter in the glovebox after all. FML

#15099296
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11643) - you deserved it (22885)

On 02/24/2011 at 4:44am - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was in the toilet. Some idiots thought it was funny to throw a water balloon into the cubicle. The balloon didn't pop, but fell in the toilet sending my own urine onto my shorts. I had 4 hours left of school. FML

#15068596
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26511) - you deserved it (2482)

On 02/21/2011 at 7:23pm - misc - by peedonme (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend while he was drunk, and he told me to get protection from his bedroom. I came back, he was passed out on the couch. His parents then came into the room after hearing noises. I was sitting there naked holding a condom while he was fast asleep. FML

#14459916
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30373) - you deserved it (8897)

On 01/04/2011 at 4:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I went for a drive with my boyfriend and his dad. His dad was kind enough to point out at every opportunity girls "that would be better for him than me". FML

#14449483
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26494) - you deserved it (2637)

On 01/03/2011 at 6:37am - love - by anon. (woman) - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, I fell over on the bus. X-Rays revealed not only that I have been growing extra bones in my foot, but that when I fell, I crushed all of them. Doctors don't know how to fix bones that aren't supposed to be there, so they're just going to cut them out. Two days before Christmas. FML

#14257367
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34270) - you deserved it (2330)

On 12/19/2010 at 4:17am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Otago)

Today, after months of job searching I got a job interview. I also later got a phone call from the manager informing me they burned down, and all current employees will be relocated or dismissed, and that my interview, scheduled for tomorrow, is postponed indefinitely. FML

#14184991
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22457) - you deserved it (1903)

On 12/12/2010 at 11:19pm - work - by Anonymous - New Zealand



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