Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from New Zealand

Today, my daughter came up to me crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she told me that she had a fight with her imaginary boyfriend. She's 16. I raised this child. FML

#13645205
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38810) - you deserved it (10590)

On 10/30/2010 at 1:07am - kids - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Taranaki)

Today, I discovered that my son has an allergy to cats. My partner of two years, not wanting to fight, suggested a compromise: that my son and the cat take turns sleeping outside. FML

#13521617
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27925) - you deserved it (5266)

On 10/20/2010 at 3:11am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I got so nervous that I actually peed my pants during a job interview. FML

#13521400
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26379) - you deserved it (11859)

On 10/20/2010 at 2:38am - work - by anonymous - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I had a wet dream about having sexual relations with a rubber duck. FML

#13373695
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29712) - you deserved it (8934)

On 10/09/2010 at 1:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I got hit by a Salami log thrown from a car; its metal wire cut my shoulder. I got scarred by a flying hunk of pig. FML

#13320249
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23754) - you deserved it (2345)

On 10/04/2010 at 7:31pm - misc - by ifpigsflew (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I failed my trigonometry exam because my scientific calculator was on the wrong setting. FML

#13192437
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16276) - you deserved it (40411)

On 09/25/2010 at 4:57am - misc - by trigfail - New Zealand (Taranaki)

Today, at work, a three year old chucked a chocolate bar at me. It hit me square in the face. Her father praised her for her "quality arm." FML

#13024649
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22405) - you deserved it (2596)

On 09/12/2010 at 8:08pm - misc - by tenthousandspoon - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I superglued my headphones back together. They weren't dry before I put them back in my ears. FML

Today, my fiancée broke up with me because of an argument about a printer. FML

#12716438
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30303) - you deserved it (5500)

On 08/24/2010 at 4:19am - love - by T.T (woman) - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he wanted for for his birthday in a couple of days. He replied "to be single" and walked out of the room. FML

#12449914
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38480) - you deserved it (3968)

On 08/11/2010 at 6:40am - love - by gutsforme (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I applied for a job and sent my CV, then realised I sent the example CV I got off the internet. Now they think Bob Brown who lives at 123 Sunshine Street is applying for a job. FML

#12261661
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8555) - you deserved it (33222)

On 08/02/2010 at 5:50am - work - by Julia (woman) - New Zealand (Otago)

Today, my fiancée told me she was having a bad day while we were lying in bed. Just as she was about to fall asleep I thought it would be sweet if I sang her a song that her Mom sang to her when she was a child. Instead, I was told to shut the fuck up and that I sucked. FML

#10962269
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35232) - you deserved it (14065)

On 06/04/2010 at 5:38am - love - by badsinger (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I fell asleep and dreamed that I had won $500,000. In my dream, I used this money to buy a new MP3 Player, and then put the rest in a term deposit. Even in my dreams, I'm the most boring person I know. FML

#10448158
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28016) - you deserved it (7247)

On 05/10/2010 at 6:14am - money - by boring (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: