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FMLs submitted from New Zealand

Today, one of my really close friends changed from being 'free' to 'quite busy' in the space of one conversation because I suggested that we hang out. FML

#15870197
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25076) - you deserved it (3099)

On 04/21/2011 at 4:33am - misc - by gutted (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, my wife told me that she was leaving me for someone with more hair. FML

#15617412
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40105) - you deserved it (4115)

On 04/03/2011 at 5:16am - love - by Baldy (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I annoyed my friend by texting him 'meow' over and over at random times of the day because when he's drunk he meows in his sleep. Apparently a great way to get back at me was to tell my parents I wasn't a virgin and that I got high on Wednesday. He had pictures to prove it for both. FML

#15442777
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20756) - you deserved it (60388)

On 03/23/2011 at 12:40am - intimacy - by Fcuked (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I put signs up in the lifts at work with my name and desk phone number as the contact in case the lifts break down. I work in IT so there are hundreds of men in the building. Someone has already drawn a very wonky heart next to my name. FML

#15349045
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18441) - you deserved it (4792)

On 03/17/2011 at 6:00am - work - by Peppermint (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I walked ten miles to pick up my car from the towing station. Turns out there was enough change for the parking meter in the glovebox after all. FML

#15099296
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11512) - you deserved it (22573)

On 02/24/2011 at 4:44am - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was in the toilet. Some idiots thought it was funny to throw a water balloon into the cubicle. The balloon didn't pop, but fell in the toilet sending my own urine onto my shorts. I had 4 hours left of school. FML

#15068596
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22362) - you deserved it (2163)

On 02/21/2011 at 7:23pm - misc - by peedonme (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend while he was drunk, and he told me to get protection from his bedroom. I came back, he was passed out on the couch. His parents then came into the room after hearing noises. I was sitting there naked holding a condom while he was fast asleep. FML

#14459916
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28845) - you deserved it (8552)

On 01/04/2011 at 4:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I went for a drive with my boyfriend and his dad. His dad was kind enough to point out at every opportunity girls "that would be better for him than me". FML

#14449483
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23821) - you deserved it (2412)

On 01/03/2011 at 6:37am - love - by anon. (woman) - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, I fell over on the bus. X-Rays revealed not only that I have been growing extra bones in my foot, but that when I fell, I crushed all of them. Doctors don't know how to fix bones that aren't supposed to be there, so they're just going to cut them out. Two days before Christmas. FML

#14257367
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33311) - you deserved it (2250)

On 12/19/2010 at 4:17am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Otago)

Today, after months of job searching I got a job interview. I also later got a phone call from the manager informing me they burned down, and all current employees will be relocated or dismissed, and that my interview, scheduled for tomorrow, is postponed indefinitely. FML

#14184991
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20825) - you deserved it (1757)

On 12/12/2010 at 11:19pm - work - by Anonymous - New Zealand

Today, my dad came up behind me with a pair of scissors, and pretended to snip away at my hair. I was sure he was joking, so I just sat there and didn't react. Later, I felt the back of my head and looked at my hand. Suffice it to say, I now have a large bald patch on the back of my head. FML

#14155752
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29449) - you deserved it (5932)

On 12/10/2010 at 4:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Hawke's Bay)

Today, my boyfriend drunkenly decided to let his friends cut his hair into a mullet. He won't change it. I'm supposed to introduce him to my family. FML

#13775223
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20194) - you deserved it (3579)

On 11/09/2010 at 7:02am - misc - by botheredgf (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, my daughter came up to me crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she told me that she had a fight with her imaginary boyfriend. She's 16. I raised this child. FML

#13645205
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37869) - you deserved it (10342)

On 10/30/2010 at 1:07am - kids - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Taranaki)



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