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FMLs submitted from New Zealand

Today, I accused my son of faking being sick. He then blew chunks all over me. FML

#19318105
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6204) - you deserved it (46141)

On 03/21/2012 at 12:06am - kids - by George Saunders - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I missed an important phone call. It's been so long since someone has called me that I didn't recognize my own ringtone. FML

#19195246
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22413) - you deserved it (3746)

On 03/01/2012 at 11:37am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand

Today, I found out that, when mad at us, my son picks the tops off his shoulder-pimples and sprinkles them in our food. FML

#18559363
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42543) - you deserved it (5092)

On 12/20/2011 at 2:45am - kids - by Pimpleeater (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, my 7-year-old daughter came up to me in a noisy mall and said "boo-boo" pointing to her hand. Not paying enough attention, I kissed her hand to make her feel better. She grimaced and said "No dad, bird poo." FML

#18525865
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25903) - you deserved it (12573)

On 12/16/2011 at 4:08am - kids - by Oily (man) - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, I overcame my fear of swimming in lakes and went for a swim. I got bitten by an eel. FML

#18451014
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29156) - you deserved it (3023)

On 12/07/2011 at 5:28am - misc - by wayne - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my boss phoned me and asked me why I wasn't at work. I was in the staff room. I said hello to her as I came in the door. FML

#18286848
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28476) - you deserved it (2263)

On 11/19/2011 at 3:40am - work - by arthur (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my mother looked me dead in the face and said, "I have failed as a parent." FML

#18286632
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31924) - you deserved it (6402)

On 11/19/2011 at 2:47am - love - by Yeoman (man) - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, I had a car accident. In the same place, at the same time, and with the same friend in the passenger seat as last week. FML

#17869436
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22431) - you deserved it (10248)

On 09/30/2011 at 6:18am - misc - by Steve (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I saw my co-worker sneeze into his palm, get up, walk to my desk and smear his hand all over my computer mouse. He then went back to his desk and continued with his work. Last week we had a workplace awareness meeting about my OCD and fear of germs. FML

#17837739
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28363) - you deserved it (6080)

On 09/26/2011 at 6:37am - work - by gotanewmouse - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my dad met my fiancé's dad for the first time. My fiancé's dad is a cop. He had arrested my dad for indecent exposure in the past. FML

#17691759
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34423) - you deserved it (2572)

On 09/07/2011 at 9:22pm - intimacy - by lolomg (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I went in to see my piercer. He took one look at my piercing I got a few months ago and laughed saying "What a shit job, I'm sorry but that's pretty crappy because it's not even straight!" I then had to awkwardly explain it was indeed him who had pierced me. FML

#17602935
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29783) - you deserved it (3562)

On 08/28/2011 at 6:41am - misc - by piercingfreak (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I went to the movies. I was seated next to a woman who talked through the film and said: "Awwww" every time she saw a primate. I went to see 'Rise of Planet of the Apes'. FML

#17527301
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32615) - you deserved it (2704)

On 08/20/2011 at 5:54am - misc - by RensM (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I got dumped by my boyfriend because he is tired of everyone giving him shit about my ginger hair. FML

#17517733
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40310) - you deserved it (6268)

On 08/19/2011 at 6:38am - love - by ginger (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)



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