FMLs submitted from New Zealand

Today, I fell over on the bus. X-Rays revealed not only that I have been growing extra bones in my foot, but that when I fell, I crushed all of them. Doctors don't know how to fix bones that aren't supposed to be there, so they're just going to cut them out. Two days before Christmas. FML

by Anonymous / 12/19/2010 at 4:17am / New Zealand (Otago) / Health

Today, after months of job searching I got a job interview. I also later got a phone call from the manager informing me they burned down, and all current employees will be relocated or dismissed, and that my interview, scheduled for tomorrow, is postponed indefinitely. FML

by Anonymous / 12/12/2010 at 11:19pm / New Zealand / Work

Today, my dad came up behind me with a pair of scissors, and pretended to snip away at my hair. I was sure he was joking, so I just sat there and didn't react. Later, I felt the back of my head and looked at my hand. Suffice it to say, I now have a large bald patch on the back of my head. FML

by Anonymous / 12/10/2010 at 4:59pm / New Zealand (Hawke's Bay) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend drunkenly decided to let his friends cut his hair into a mullet. He won't change it. I'm supposed to introduce him to my family. FML

by botheredgf / 11/09/2010 at 7:02am / New Zealand (Wellington) / Love

Today, my daughter came up to me crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she told me that she had a fight with her imaginary boyfriend. She's 16. I raised this child. FML

by Anonymous / 10/30/2010 at 1:07am / New Zealand (Taranaki) / Kids

Today, I discovered that my son has an allergy to cats. My partner of two years, not wanting to fight, suggested a compromise: that my son and the cat take turns sleeping outside. FML

by Anonymous / 10/20/2010 at 3:11am / New Zealand (Wellington) / Kids

Today, I got so nervous that I actually peed my pants during a job interview. FML

by anonymous / 10/20/2010 at 2:38am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Work

Today, I had a wet dream about having sexual relations with a rubber duck. FML

by Anonymous / 10/09/2010 at 1:15am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Intimacy

Today, I got hit by a Salami log thrown from a car; its metal wire cut my shoulder. I got scarred by a flying hunk of pig. FML

by ifpigsflew / 10/04/2010 at 7:31pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Health

Today, I failed my trigonometry exam because my scientific calculator was on the wrong setting. FML

by trigfail / 09/25/2010 at 4:57am / New Zealand (Taranaki) / Geek

Today, at work, a three year old chucked a chocolate bar at me. It hit me square in the face. Her father praised her for her "quality arm." FML

by tenthousandspoon / 09/12/2010 at 8:08pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Kids

Today, I superglued my headphones back together. They weren't dry before I put them back in my ears. FML

by Lozza111 / 08/28/2010 at 1:14am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Geek

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my fiancée broke up with me because of an argument about a printer. FML

by T.T / 08/24/2010 at 4:19am / New Zealand (Waikato) / Love