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FMLs submitted from New Zealand

Today, I mentioned to my mum that one of my friends is pregnant. She decided I was lying, that I'm the one who's actually pregnant, and that I'm going to get checked out by a doctor. FML

#21379171
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27130) - you deserved it (2249)

On 03/21/2015 at 10:27pm - health - by ellabellabooboo - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my maths class and I had to sit through a slideshow of photos of our teacher's cat. The cat's name is Mr Cat. FML

#21376941
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27196) - you deserved it (3467)

On 03/18/2015 at 5:44am - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, as I was trying to remove my lunch from the hot oven tray, my finger brushed against the metal for a moment, and I instinctively put it in my mouth. I burnt my tongue, on my finger. I didn't realize that was possible. FML

#21373551
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28361) - you deserved it (3862)

On 03/13/2015 at 12:19am - health - by numbtongue - New Zealand (Otago)

Today, a photo of my friends and me was posted in our college group. I didn't notice my legs looked enormous until my friend pointed it out. Her comment got 50 likes. FML

#21358355
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28496) - you deserved it (2814)

On 02/17/2015 at 11:22pm - misc - by ImNotFat - New Zealand

Today, my date bumped into her ex-husband, who decided to join us for the rest of the dinner. FML

#21352274
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33043) - you deserved it (2377)

On 02/08/2015 at 7:19pm - love - by jimmy_poison - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, I found out the pet name my girlfriend gave my penis wasn't randomly made up after all; it's her ex's name. FML

#21341448
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33189) - you deserved it (2929)

On 01/21/2015 at 3:33am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was fired for "blatant, inexcusable racism". My boss had asked me which website background I preferred for our company, and I said that white backgrounds are usually best. He thinks that I believe in white supremacy, and that's bad for the company's image. FML

#21334747
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32075) - you deserved it (2354)

On 01/10/2015 at 10:02pm - work - by Jem (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was trying on wedding dresses with my future sister-in-law who is a little bigger than me. We tried on a similar dress and she said it looked better on me because I'm skinny. Instead of saying, 'No way' or 'It looks great on you', I accidentally said 'Yeah, I know'. FML

#21327629
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17943) - you deserved it (30730)

On 12/31/2014 at 2:47am - health - by bridezilla - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I posted a photo on Facebook showing a side-by-side view of me before and after I'd tried out my new makeup. My dad commented, "What is this, Gollum cosplaying an Orc?" My mum, brother, and over 20 "friends" liked his comment. FML

#21320382
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27441) - you deserved it (4634)

On 12/19/2014 at 2:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I ate at Subway during my lunch hour. A group of teenage girls sat down at the table next to mine. They all shared good laugh about the "friendless, chubby chick" sitting near them, while attempting to discreetly point at me. FML

#21317606
134 comments

Today, I tried being rebellious for the first time in my life by sneaking out past my curfew. I decided to use my bedroom window to stealthily leave the house. I ended up twisting my ankle when I tried to make my "grand" escape. FML

#21294808
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21257) - you deserved it (27590)

On 11/08/2014 at 3:33pm - health - by thatsureshowedme (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I got demonic gastric distress while taking my final college exam. I only got about 50% of it done, left the classroom 50% faster, and experienced both 50% dread and 50% relief. Now I have to repeat 50% of the class. FML

#21293883
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29441) - you deserved it (3579)

On 11/07/2014 at 1:53am - misc - by all shat out - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I found out that the girl on Facebook that helped me out of my sadness after my break-up and who I'd hopelessly fallen in love with was just a prank by my ex-girlfriend. FML

#21288808
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36062) - you deserved it (4086)

On 10/31/2014 at 12:25am - love - by facebookdeception - New Zealand (Auckland)



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