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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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FMLs submitted from New Zealand

Today, I wanted to shower but the sliding glass door had jammed. Naked, I tried to gently push it back into its groove. Instead, it shattered to a million pieces, showering me with shards and cutting my hands and feet. FML

#18955944 (85)

I agree, your life sucks (5807) - you deserved it (1184)

On 01/30/2012 at 9:12pm - misc - by showered (woman) - New Zealand (Otago)

Today, I found out that, when mad at us, my son picks the tops off his shoulder-pimples and sprinkles them in our food. FML

#18559363 (267)

I agree, your life sucks (12576) - you deserved it (1434)

On 12/20/2011 at 2:45am - kids - by Pimpleeater (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, my 7-year-old daughter came up to me in a noisy mall and said "boo-boo" pointing to her hand. Not paying enough attention, I kissed her hand to make her feel better. She grimaced and said "No dad, bird poo." FML

#18525865 (112)

I agree, your life sucks (18323) - you deserved it (8107)

On 12/16/2011 at 4:08am - kids - by Oily (man) - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, I overcame my fear of swimming in lakes and went for a swim. I got bitten by an eel. FML

#18451014 (144)

I agree, your life sucks (9036) - you deserved it (908)

On 12/07/2011 at 5:28am - misc - by wayne - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my boss phoned me and asked me why I wasn't at work. I was in the staff room. I said hello to her as I came in the door. FML

#18286848 (63)

I agree, your life sucks (21559) - you deserved it (1521)

On 11/19/2011 at 3:40am - work - by arthur (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my mother looked me dead in the face and said, "I have failed as a parent." FML

#18286632 (113)

I agree, your life sucks (10555) - you deserved it (1948)

On 11/19/2011 at 2:47am - love - by Yeoman (man) - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, I had a car accident. In the same place, at the same time, and with the same friend in the passenger seat as last week. FML

#17869436 (157)

I agree, your life sucks (15726) - you deserved it (7234)

On 09/30/2011 at 6:18am - misc - by Steve (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I saw my co-worker sneeze into his palm, get up, walk to my desk and smear his hand all over my computer mouse. He then went back to his desk and continued with his work. Last week we had a workplace awareness meeting about my OCD and fear of germs. FML

#17837739 (170)

I agree, your life sucks (9173) - you deserved it (1942)

On 09/26/2011 at 6:37am - work - by gotanewmouse - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my dad met my fiancé's dad for the first time. My fiancé's dad is a cop. He had arrested my dad for indecent exposure in the past. FML

#17691759 (105)

I agree, your life sucks (11127) - you deserved it (722)

On 09/07/2011 at 9:22pm - intimacy - by lolomg (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I went in to see my piercer. He took one look at my piercing I got a few months ago and laughed saying "What a shit job, I'm sorry but that's pretty crappy because it's not even straight!" I then had to awkwardly explain it was indeed him who had pierced me. FML

#17602935 (165)

I agree, your life sucks (9458) - you deserved it (970)

On 08/28/2011 at 6:41am - misc - by piercingfreak (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I went to the movies. I was seated next to a woman who talked through the film and said: "Awwww" every time she saw a primate. I went to see 'Rise of Planet of the Apes'. FML

#17527301 (234)

I agree, your life sucks (10526) - you deserved it (810)

On 08/20/2011 at 5:54am - misc - by RensM (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I got dumped by my boyfriend because he is tired of everyone giving him shit about my ginger hair. FML

#17517733 (376)

I agree, your life sucks (13621) - you deserved it (1685)

On 08/19/2011 at 6:38am - love - by ginger (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was having a chat with a customer. He asked if I was married, to which I replied, "No." Before I could say anything else, he said, "Thought so. You look too happy to be married." I was about to mention that I just got engaged. FML

#17513868 (76)

I agree, your life sucks (18247) - you deserved it (2111)

On 08/18/2011 at 10:10pm - love - by ddeit (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)