FMLs submitted from Netherlands

Today, I was on a date with a very intelligent and handsome guy. I was so nervous that when he was telling me about his twin sister, I asked him if they were identical twins. FML

by boohoo / 06/04/2012 at 8:45am / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Love

Today, I was at work when a customer, who was going to pay for her groceries, started sorting through her money. She put some coins in her mouth, seemed to suck on them for a while, and then gave them to me. FML

by Elmoo / 05/31/2012 at 9:20pm / Netherlands / Work

Today, I spilled my guts to my girlfriend, saying I'm scared that all I do is upset her. I then had to sit through a speech about how upset she was that I hadn't told her sooner. FML

by Anonymous / 05/29/2012 at 1:50pm / Netherlands (Flevoland) / Love

Today, my parents think it's so hot outside that it's okay for them to work in the garden naked. FML

by Ladieda / 05/28/2012 at 6:15am / Netherlands (Gelderland) / Miscellaneous

Today, the mailman delivered my new phone to my neighbour's house. This was okay, because he left a note in my mailbox informing me so. Now my crazy neighbour won't give me the package because, "*I* signed for it!" FML

by Byebye / 05/24/2012 at 3:30pm / Netherlands (Groningen) / Miscellaneous

Today, I called my boyfriend during his lunch break. He started to place his order at a fast food joint, and trying to be funny, I started moaning sexily after each part of his order. I eventually realised I was on speaker when I heard snickering in the background. FML

by Anonymous / 05/16/2012 at 4:34pm / Netherlands (Limburg) / Love

Today, while at work, I managed to scrape open the inside of my nose with my fingernail, drawing blood in the process. I had to quickly up an explanation for my scream that didn't go: "Well, I was scouting for boogers..." FML

by Anonymous / 05/12/2012 at 6:09pm / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Work

Today, my boyfriend thought it was a good show of etiquette to answer a text message from his ex, while he was still inside me. FML

by Anonymous / 05/04/2012 at 4:57pm / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Intimacy

Today, after having been told that I looked horrible for the last five months, I decided to give myself a make-over. As soon as the make-up artist was done, I told her I didn't like it, and that I still didn't like how I look. She simply replied: ''Well, I'm a make-up artist, not a magician!'' FML

by Anonymous / 04/05/2012 at 8:36am / Netherlands / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my resume contained the word "masturbation" in the skills section, courtesy of a practical joke by my best friend. I have been using this CV unsuccessfully for over two months. FML

by Anonymous / 03/13/2012 at 8:51am / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Intimacy

Today, I got up at 4:30 am, went to my job as the newspaper guy. Nobody was there to open the door, it was raining and I was freezing. I decided to wait, because I really wanted my salary. At 6 o'clock my boss opens the door and says, "Oh, it's you. Well, you're fired. We can't pay you anymore." FML

by Shan007tjuuh / 03/06/2012 at 3:57am / Netherlands / Work

Today, the only thing that cheered me up was a documentary about IKEA, and seeing how my furniture was made. FML

by sadgirl / 02/28/2012 at 10:51am / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I set my alarm half-an-hour earlier so I could masturbate. That's how horny and single I am. FML

by desperate905 / 02/21/2012 at 3:10am / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Intimacy