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FMLs submitted from Netherlands

Today, I went to see a movie with my girlfriend and a few others. Mid-way through, I noticed my girlfriend giving a hand-job to my best friend. I couldn't believe my eyes, and I confronted them. He claimed he had been asleep, she claimed she was mopping up a spill, and I'm now single again. FML

#19788440
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50027) - you deserved it (3378)

On 06/14/2012 at 6:51pm - intimacy - by aranya (man) - Netherlands (Overijssel)

Today, I had to take my husband to the hospital. He and his friends got the bright idea of recording a re-enactment of a scene from Fight Club for a YouTube video. It ended as soon as my husband caught a fist to the gut and started violently puking all over our basement floor. FML

#19782918
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21256) - you deserved it (2243)

On 06/13/2012 at 4:38pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands

Today, I was on a date with a very intelligent and handsome guy. I was so nervous that when he was telling me about his twin sister, I asked him if they were identical twins. FML

#19731681
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15354) - you deserved it (18662)

On 06/04/2012 at 8:45am - love - by boohoo (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I was at work when a customer, who was going to pay for her groceries, started sorting through her money. She put some coins in her mouth, seemed to suck on them for a while, and then gave them to me. FML

#19712104
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24493) - you deserved it (1552)

On 05/31/2012 at 9:20pm - work - by Elmoo - Netherlands

Today, I spilled my guts to my girlfriend, saying I'm scared that all I do is upset her. I then had to sit through a speech about how upset she was that I hadn't told her sooner. FML

#19699058
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20951) - you deserved it (4247)

On 05/29/2012 at 1:50pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Flevoland)

Today, my parents think it's so hot outside that it's okay for them to work in the garden naked. FML

#19692459
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31083) - you deserved it (2274)

On 05/28/2012 at 6:15am - misc - by Ladieda (woman) - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, the mailman delivered my new phone to my neighbour's house. This was okay, because he left a note in my mailbox informing me so. Now my crazy neighbour won't give me the package because, "*I* signed for it!" FML

#19673305
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21078) - you deserved it (1460)

On 05/24/2012 at 3:30pm - misc - by Byebye - Netherlands (Groningen)

Today, I called my boyfriend during his lunch break. He started to place his order at a fast food joint, and trying to be funny, I started moaning sexily after each part of his order. I eventually realised I was on speaker when I heard snickering in the background. FML

#19632849
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6339) - you deserved it (28064)

On 05/16/2012 at 4:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Limburg)

Today, while at work, I managed to scrape open the inside of my nose with my fingernail, drawing blood in the process. I had to quickly up an explanation for my scream that didn't go: "Well, I was scouting for boogers..." FML

#19612935
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5972) - you deserved it (21195)

On 05/12/2012 at 6:09pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, my boyfriend thought it was a good show of etiquette to answer a text message from his ex, while he was still inside me. FML

#19573646
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31244) - you deserved it (3209)

On 05/04/2012 at 4:57pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, after having been told that I looked horrible for the last five months, I decided to give myself a make-over. As soon as the make-up artist was done, I told her I didn't like it, and that I still didn't like how I look. She simply replied: ''Well, I'm a make-up artist, not a magician!'' FML

#19411148
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14089) - you deserved it (24744)

On 04/05/2012 at 8:36am - misc - by Anonymous - Netherlands

Today, I found out that my resume contained the word "masturbation" in the skills section, courtesy of a practical joke by my best friend. I have been using this CV unsuccessfully for over two months. FML

#19270252
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30288) - you deserved it (7459)

On 03/13/2012 at 8:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I got up at 4:30 am, went to my job as the newspaper guy. Nobody was there to open the door, it was raining and I was freezing. I decided to wait, because I really wanted my salary. At 6 o'clock my boss opens the door and says, "Oh, it's you. Well, you're fired. We can't pay you anymore." FML

#19225860
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30964) - you deserved it (1849)

On 03/06/2012 at 3:57am - work - by Shan007tjuuh (man) - Netherlands



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