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FMLs submitted from Netherlands

Today, my parents think it's so hot outside that it's okay for them to work in the garden naked. FML

#19692459
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29157) - you deserved it (2120)

On 05/28/2012 at 6:15am - misc - by Ladieda (woman) - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, the mailman delivered my new phone to my neighbour's house. This was okay, because he left a note in my mailbox informing me so. Now my crazy neighbour won't give me the package because, "*I* signed for it!" FML

#19673305
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20882) - you deserved it (1447)

On 05/24/2012 at 3:30pm - misc - by Byebye - Netherlands (Groningen)

Today, I called my boyfriend during his lunch break. He started to place his order at a fast food joint, and trying to be funny, I started moaning sexily after each part of his order. I eventually realised I was on speaker when I heard snickering in the background. FML

#19632849
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6145) - you deserved it (27469)

On 05/16/2012 at 4:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Limburg)

Today, while at work, I managed to scrape open the inside of my nose with my fingernail, drawing blood in the process. I had to quickly up an explanation for my scream that didn't go: "Well, I was scouting for boogers..." FML

#19612935
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5605) - you deserved it (20220)

On 05/12/2012 at 6:09pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, my boyfriend thought it was a good show of etiquette to answer a text message from his ex, while he was still inside me. FML

#19573646
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29146) - you deserved it (3017)

On 05/04/2012 at 4:57pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, after having been told that I looked horrible for the last five months, I decided to give myself a make-over. As soon as the make-up artist was done, I told her I didn't like it, and that I still didn't like how I look. She simply replied: ''Well, I'm a make-up artist, not a magician!'' FML

#19411148
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12984) - you deserved it (23138)

On 04/05/2012 at 8:36am - misc - by Anonymous - Netherlands

Today, I found out that my resume contained the word "masturbation" in the skills section, courtesy of a practical joke by my best friend. I have been using this CV unsuccessfully for over two months. FML

#19270252
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29894) - you deserved it (7412)

On 03/13/2012 at 8:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I got up at 4:30 am, went to my job as the newspaper guy. Nobody was there to open the door, it was raining and I was freezing. I decided to wait, because I really wanted my salary. At 6 o'clock my boss opens the door and says, "Oh, it's you. Well, you're fired. We can't pay you anymore." FML

#19225860
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29191) - you deserved it (1730)

On 03/06/2012 at 3:57am - work - by Shan007tjuuh (man) - Netherlands

Today, the only thing that cheered me up was a documentary about IKEA, and seeing how my furniture was made. FML

#19181492
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18139) - you deserved it (3720)

On 02/28/2012 at 10:51am - misc - by sadgirl (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I set my alarm half-an-hour earlier so I could masturbate. That's how horny and single I am. FML

#19129332
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20882) - you deserved it (24614)

On 02/21/2012 at 3:10am - intimacy - by desperate905 - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I had a technical skill test as a nurse. My objective was to help the patient defecate, but my opening sentence came out as: "Hello, I'm Jan. I'm here to help you take a shit." FML

#19030539
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20629) - you deserved it (9297)

On 02/08/2012 at 10:24pm - work - by Silver_Samurai (man) - Netherlands

Today, I had a quicky with my boyfriend, because his dad was about to pick him up. Afterwards, I texted: "Nice to meet your dad, hope we didn't look too heated." A few minutes later, he replied: "Great timing, he was holding my phone." FML

#18961404
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25718) - you deserved it (8809)

On 01/31/2012 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by B - Netherlands

Today, I realized the universal beauty that can be found in a pancake. I'm not sure if I have reached spiritual enlightenment, or if I should have my head examined. FML

#18888534
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17188) - you deserved it (6552)

On 01/23/2012 at 6:27am - health - by Dutchee - Netherlands (Friesland)



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