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FMLs submitted from Netherlands

Today, my boyfriend thought it was a good show of etiquette to answer a text message from his ex, while he was still inside me. FML

#19573646
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28163) - you deserved it (2911)

On 05/04/2012 at 4:57pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, after having been told that I looked horrible for the last five months, I decided to give myself a make-over. As soon as the make-up artist was done, I told her I didn't like it, and that I still didn't like how I look. She simply replied: ''Well, I'm a make-up artist, not a magician!'' FML

#19411148
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12895) - you deserved it (22995)

On 04/05/2012 at 8:36am - misc - by Anonymous - Netherlands

Today, I found out that my resume contained the word "masturbation" in the skills section, courtesy of a practical joke by my best friend. I have been using this CV unsuccessfully for over two months. FML

#19270252
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27600) - you deserved it (7031)

On 03/13/2012 at 8:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I got up at 4:30 am, went to my job as the newspaper guy. Nobody was there to open the door, it was raining and I was freezing. I decided to wait, because I really wanted my salary. At 6 o'clock my boss opens the door and says, "Oh, it's you. Well, you're fired. We can't pay you anymore." FML

#19225860
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28285) - you deserved it (1660)

On 03/06/2012 at 3:57am - work - by Shan007tjuuh (man) - Netherlands

Today, the only thing that cheered me up was a documentary about IKEA, and seeing how my furniture was made. FML

#19181492
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16481) - you deserved it (3510)

On 02/28/2012 at 10:51am - misc - by sadgirl (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I set my alarm half-an-hour earlier so I could masturbate. That's how horny and single I am. FML

#19129332
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16308) - you deserved it (17136)

On 02/21/2012 at 3:10am - intimacy - by desperate905 - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I had a technical skill test as a nurse. My objective was to help the patient defecate, but my opening sentence came out as: "Hello, I'm Jan. I'm here to help you take a shit." FML

#19030539
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19530) - you deserved it (9092)

On 02/08/2012 at 10:24pm - work - by Silver_Samurai (man) - Netherlands

Today, I had a quicky with my boyfriend, because his dad was about to pick him up. Afterwards, I texted: "Nice to meet your dad, hope we didn't look too heated." A few minutes later, he replied: "Great timing, he was holding my phone." FML

#18961404
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23737) - you deserved it (8454)

On 01/31/2012 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by B - Netherlands

Today, I realized the universal beauty that can be found in a pancake. I'm not sure if I have reached spiritual enlightenment, or if I should have my head examined. FML

#18888534
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16739) - you deserved it (6471)

On 01/23/2012 at 6:27am - health - by Dutchee - Netherlands (Friesland)

Today, I found out why my room-mates and I have been ill for the past week. Apparently a rodent climbed into our water cooker and died. I have been drinking tea and eating noodles that have been tainted by a corpse all this time. FML

Today, while having sex, my girlfriend suddenly broke down and started crying. Apparently, when I'm horny, my face reminds her of her dead dog. FML

#18550622
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36644) - you deserved it (3704)

On 12/19/2011 at 1:43am - intimacy - by lovely (man) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, after three days of getting stared at by my neighbour from the window, I realized that she wasn't alive anymore. FML

#18406735
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42942) - you deserved it (3215)

On 12/01/2011 at 9:02pm - health - by unknown52 - Netherlands (Overijssel)

Today, I caught three kids setting fire to a bush. After chasing them off, I parked my bike by a house and went to get water. After I'd put the fire out, I walked back to my bike just in time to see the kids running off with it. FML

#18182006
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27495) - you deserved it (4476)

On 11/07/2011 at 4:38am - misc - by Isoldael - Netherlands (Utrecht)



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