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FMLs submitted from Netherlands

Today, I was visiting my daughter, whose husband was still asleep at noon. I made a point of stomping around on the hardwood floor and speaking loudly to wake his lazy ass up. Turns out he's now working a 14-hour graveyard shift, and it has no negative effect on his shoe-throwing skills. FML

#20193830
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4387) - you deserved it (68590)

On 12/06/2012 at 2:23pm - misc - by mom (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, an hour after having been turned down for sex, I walked in on my wife fingering herself to a copy of War and Peace. FML

#20178424
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30780) - you deserved it (3761)

On 11/25/2012 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, my mom had a tantrum and screamed at me over my use of bronzer. She called me a selfish bitch and claimed that I'm somehow slowly giving myself skin cancer. FML

#20176711
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8449) - you deserved it (9886)

On 11/24/2012 at 2:38pm - health - by Anonymous Cunt (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I went to see my favorite band. It was all amazing and great until I decided to go crowd surfing. I was maybe too heavy because people jumped away instead of catching me. I fell right on my tailbone. FML

#20166417
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6450) - you deserved it (26312)

On 11/17/2012 at 8:56am - health - by lekijkerd - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, after clubbing with my girlfriend, we went to her place. She then threw up on the floor, and went to clean herself up. When she came back, she'd forgotten that she'd just thrown up. She blamed me for puking, and kicked me out. It was 4:00 am and a 3-hour walk home. FML

#20161591
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22855) - you deserved it (2311)

On 11/13/2012 at 7:02am - love - by Med (man) - Netherlands (Groningen)

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. I thought it was all going really well, until I looked up a minute or two in, only to be greeted by a stone-cold death glare and the words, "You really are an idiot, aren't you?" FML

#20144510
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29026) - you deserved it (7244)

On 11/02/2012 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I witnessed my mother-in-law reach into my wife's purse and practically empty it out into her pocket. When I confronted her and called my wife into the room, both of them accused me of lying through my teeth, because I've always hated her. FML

#20116821
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22904) - you deserved it (1517)

On 10/14/2012 at 4:57pm - money - by hate enough to kill... (man) - Netherlands (Limburg)

Today, I unintentionally moaned during my prostate exam. FML

#20092313
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30049) - you deserved it (6157)

On 09/28/2012 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, a stranger called me, saying I look hot in the bra I was wearing. When I hung up, thinking it was a joke, I opened the back door, and saw a man running away from my backyard. FML

#20079219
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27001) - you deserved it (1718)

On 09/19/2012 at 1:02pm - misc - by jitiizer (woman) - Netherlands (Friesland)

Today, at a supermarket entrance, a seemingly drunk old lady said, "Sir?" as I passed by. I just ignored her and walked in. When I walked out with my groceries fifteen minutes later, several people were standing around her, calling for an ambulance. She'd passed out on the ground. FML

#20057390
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6745) - you deserved it (45475)

On 09/04/2012 at 1:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I found out that ever since I got my blonde highlights, I've been mocked behind my back at work, and nicknamed "The Skunk". FML

#20016889
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13498) - you deserved it (11149)

On 08/12/2012 at 1:25pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I had a job interview, for which I spent hours preparing. My interviewer was nothing more than a pimple-faced teen, and after only two minutes of reviewing my qualifications, he lost interest and started asking such questions as which Hogwarts house is my favorite. FML

#19964470
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20730) - you deserved it (2375)

On 07/20/2012 at 4:26pm - work - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I was walking down the street, when I saw a guy in front of me trip and fall forwards, and I quickly jumped forward to steady him. Apparently he thought he was being mugged, and threw his head backwards into my face, leaving my nose a bloody mess. FML

#19793138
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19180) - you deserved it (1950)

On 06/15/2012 at 4:23pm - misc - by shalara (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)



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