FMLs submitted from Netherlands

Today, my now ex-boyfriend told me that I was the one. Not at this moment though, he wants to see how far he can go with his best female friend. But once he's done with her, we can be together. FML

by Anonymous / 02/17/2016 at 7:32am / Netherlands / Love

Today, a guy I blocked online for sending me creepy messages showed up at my house. I have no idea how he found my address, or even my real name. FML

by Anonymous / 02/16/2016 at 9:56am / Netherlands / Miscellaneous

Today, I think I've conditioned my body to not function without technology, as I simply couldn't take a shit until I got up, fetched my phone and returned to the toilet to read stuff on here. FML

by Anonymous / 02/14/2016 at 4:15am / Netherlands (Noord-Brabant) / Health

Today, I walked into a room to help a patient get ready for bed. Except she already was in bed, with two other male patients. I work in a retirement home. FML

by Anonymous / 01/26/2016 at 5:22pm / Netherlands (Noord-Brabant) / Work

Today, it was the first day in my life that I fell into a toilet because someone left the toilet seat up. I'm a guy. FML

by lookwhereyasittin / 01/24/2016 at 12:47pm / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I almost died. My friends dragged me unconcious, hypothermic and half-drowned out of the sea. A helicopter took me to the hospital where they brought me back to life. My family's reaction? "You aren't dying so we don't have to come to the hospital." They wouldn't even bring me clothes. FML

Today, I dreamed a rat crawled up from the toilet and attacked me. Now I'm afraid to even enter the bathroom. FML

by Anonymous / 01/13/2016 at 2:46am / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked my girlfriend to marry me. She said no because she doesn't want to be tied down for the rest of her life. We already have 3 children, a mortgage, and joint bank accounts. How much more tied down could we possibly get? FML

by Nile / 12/08/2015 at 12:21pm / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Love

Today, while my husband was at work, he missed our son saying his first word ("Dada"), taking his first steps and smashing the widescreen TV with a well-aimed teddy bear. Care to guess which of these three things made my husband cry. FML

by michelle / 11/15/2015 at 10:21am / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Kids

Today, I opened up to my best friend about my depression. Her response: "If you're so depressed, why don't you just kill yourself?" FML

by Anonymous / 11/13/2015 at 10:51am / Netherlands (Limburg) / Health

Today, my boyfriend rather stupidly assumed that because my vagina is no longer in use after giving birth, we would automatically start having anal sex. After I loudly explained how that wasn't happening, he then had the nerve to ask for a blowjob before we'd even left the hospital. FML

by anonymous / 11/12/2015 at 7:00pm / Netherlands / Health

Today, after months of Tinder-ing, first dates and being rejected, I finally was able to hook up with a girl. We met, we kissed, we danced and I took her back to my place. She then promptly tried to make out with my roommate. FML

by Anonymous / 11/08/2015 at 7:18pm / Netherlands / Love

Today, I found out the hard way that if you spontaneously begin to lose weight, you may have cancer, not an increased metabolism. FML

by BX / 10/17/2015 at 8:09am / Netherlands / Health