FMLs submitted from Netherlands

Today, I got a heads-up that my boss suffered a death in the family, but was coming into work anyway. I thought he'd be depressed, but it seems he deals with grief with anger instead. I found that out when he yelled at me, threatening to rip my spine out my ass over a typo I made in a report. FML

by Anonymous / 03/17/2016 at 9:21am / Netherlands (Limburg) / Work

Today, my closest encounter to having sex in the last four months was getting chlamydia from Russell Brand. In a dream. FML

by itssomething / 03/01/2016 at 3:15pm / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Intimacy

Today, after years of torment by my anxiety disorders and therapy and medication not helping, I've made the decision to try hypnosis. After doing a Google search and finding out my therapist is a man, my overly jealous fiancé insisted on joining, "because he might hypnotise you into cheating." FML

by and he wonders why I'm anxious / 02/25/2016 at 5:41pm / Netherlands / Health

Today, I was talking to a customer and I actually fell asleep for a couple of seconds. I can honestly say she wouldn't stop talking and didn't even notice me snoring. FML

by OPforonepiece / 02/19/2016 at 9:38am / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Work

Today, my now ex-boyfriend told me that I was the one. Not at this moment though, he wants to see how far he can go with his best female friend. But once he's done with her, we can be together. FML

by Anonymous / 02/17/2016 at 7:32am / Netherlands / Love

Today, a guy I blocked online for sending me creepy messages showed up at my house. I have no idea how he found my address, or even my real name. FML

by Anonymous / 02/16/2016 at 9:56am / Netherlands / Miscellaneous

Today, I think I've conditioned my body to not function without technology, as I simply couldn't take a shit until I got up, fetched my phone and returned to the toilet to read stuff on here. FML

by Anonymous / 02/14/2016 at 4:15am / Netherlands (Noord-Brabant) / Health

Today, I walked into a room to help a patient get ready for bed. Except she already was in bed, with two other male patients. I work in a retirement home. FML

by Anonymous / 01/26/2016 at 5:22pm / Netherlands (Noord-Brabant) / Work

Today, it was the first day in my life that I fell into a toilet because someone left the toilet seat up. I'm a guy. FML

by lookwhereyasittin / 01/24/2016 at 12:47pm / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I almost died. My friends dragged me unconcious, hypothermic and half-drowned out of the sea. A helicopter took me to the hospital where they brought me back to life. My family's reaction? "You aren't dying so we don't have to come to the hospital." They wouldn't even bring me clothes. FML

Today, I dreamed a rat crawled up from the toilet and attacked me. Now I'm afraid to even enter the bathroom. FML

by Anonymous / 01/13/2016 at 2:46am / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked my girlfriend to marry me. She said no because she doesn't want to be tied down for the rest of her life. We already have 3 children, a mortgage, and joint bank accounts. How much more tied down could we possibly get? FML

by Nile / 12/08/2015 at 12:21pm / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Love

Today, while my husband was at work, he missed our son saying his first word ("Dada"), taking his first steps and smashing the widescreen TV with a well-aimed teddy bear. Care to guess which of these three things made my husband cry. FML

by michelle / 11/15/2015 at 10:21am / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Kids