FMLs submitted from Netherlands

Today, safety inspectors have deemed our basement unfit to serve as a bedroom due to a fire hazard. Our bed is now in the living room. FML

Today, my girlfriend dumped me while taking a walk through a park at night. After that, I had to escort her home as she has an eye condition, and is almost completely blind when dark. FML

Today, I dropped a butcher's knife on my knuckle. Five stitches later, I can't even wipe my own butt. FML

by majesticous / 10/23/2016 at 11:56am / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Health

Today, I found out why my thesis supervisor made me change my whole project I was working on for the past 3 months. Apparently, he had another student doing the same thing and they published it today. FML

by mixedupminx / 10/06/2016 at 10:11am / Netherlands (Gelderland) / Work

Today, during a regular checkup at the dentist, I got a wisdom tooth pulled out which resulted in me looking like a fat hamster. Tomorrow is my first day as an English teacher in high school. FML

by toeloezz / 09/26/2016 at 2:02pm / Netherlands / Work

Today, after missing my flight and being stuck on the other side of the globe, I received a call telling me that the "male, neutered" kitten I adopted 7 months ago is now pregnant. FML

Today, I went to work using the train. While on the train, I fell asleep. I woke up 130km late. FML

by Code_Skull / 06/30/2016 at 2:53am / Netherlands (Zeeland) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after being constipated a few days, I used the restroom at a bar. It took a loooong time before I got out. As I went to exit the bar, only the employees were still there, waiting for me because they had closed 30 minutes ago. FML

by RosaMaravillosa / 06/27/2016 at 2:09pm / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Miscellaneous

Today, while making love, my girlfriend accidentally kicked me in the face when changing positions. She then got mad at me when I went soft due to the pain. FML

by ItsGoneForever / 06/24/2016 at 8:48pm / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after being told two weeks ago that my contract would be renewed, my boss managed to tell me that actually he had other applicants for the job. I will be let go, but he offered me two months extra so I could finish the projects he had me working on. FML

by duCOQUELICOT / 06/13/2016 at 3:29pm / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Work

Today, my brother "borrowed" my car and keys without asking me. He came back 4 hours later, alone and pale faced. It took half an hour of questions, interrogation, and finally threats before he admitted that my car is sitting in a ditch a few miles away, probably totaled. FML

by Anonymous / 05/28/2016 at 7:05pm / Netherlands / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered the effect the cream has that my mom gave me. It was for my acne and it worked, in a way. Instead of having a lot of little pimples, I now just have a few gigantic ones. FML

by RedFaced / 05/26/2016 at 8:11pm / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I sent my boyfriend a sweet text message, since he recently complained that I'm rarely romantic. Instead of being happy, he decided that since it's so out of character for me, I must be cheating on him and must have only sent it out of guilt. FML

by annoyed / 05/11/2016 at 7:40am / Netherlands (Limburg) / Love