Today, I was falling asleep on my desk, my head on my fist. My elbow slipped off the edge of the desk and I punched myself, leaving a fist mark on my cheek. At school, people think my parents hit me. My parents think I'm getting bullied at school. No one believes the actual story. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16691) - you totally deserved it (2656)
On 11/08/2009 at 3:44pm - misc - by bob (man) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)
Today, my little 7 and 6 year old cousins came visit my family home. I heard the oldest one say that my sister was nice and pretty. Then the youngest replied "Yeah, but the older one has the face of a murderer." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28756) - you totally deserved it (1733)
On 07/31/2009 at 12:01am - kids - by BadMurderer (woman) - Mexico (Tabasco)
Today, I was shopping at COSTCO for a romantic evening with my girlfriend, I bought some flowers, dinner and a super pack of condoms, At the register behind me I heard somebody say "Good thing my daughter has a responsible boyfriend." It was my girlfriend's father. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35122) - you totally deserved it (5198)
On 07/23/2009 at 1:23am - love - by costcocondoms (man) - Mexico (Baja California)
Today, I went to a club with my friends. I told my mom that I was going to come back home at 3:00 a.m. At 3:15 a.m., my mom comes to the club, with 2 cops, wearing pyjamas, shouting my name and telling me to come back home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36889) - you totally deserved it (11180)
On 07/19/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by marcelop - Mexico (Nuevo Leon)
Today, I was completely wasted at my bachelor party, and my friends thought it would be funny to put sodium nitrate on my penis. Sodium nitrate makes your skin dark purple for a couple of weeks. My wedding is next week and my fiancee has never seen me naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47280) - you totally deserved it (11527)
On 07/02/2009 at 2:32am - intimacy - by purpledick (man) - Mexico (Nuevo Leon)
Today, after buying the plane ticket to Glendale, CA to visit 17 year old Courtney who I met on a dating website, she called me for the first time to say that she was actually 19 year old Seth from Atlanta, GA. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8212) - you totally deserved it (55417)
On 06/15/2009 at 1:42am - love - by gabe8 (man) - Mexico (Nuevo Leon)
Today, I went to Cheese Cake Factory for dinner. There was this hot waiter who kept passing by. He saw me looking at him and I knew I had to say something. So when he approached my table I asked, "Excuse me, do you have any salt ?" and he said, "I think it's right there on the table." FML
I agree, your life sucks (4198) - you totally deserved it (40344)
On 05/30/2009 at 2:42am - misc - by getmoneyab (woman) - Mexico (Baja California)
Today, I left for vacation in Mexico. Upon landing, I received a text message from the guy I've been seeing. It read, "Sorry, I'm not boyfriend material. Have a good trip." I paid 75 cents to get dumped, internationally. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40519) - you totally deserved it (3362)
On 04/01/2009 at 2:03am - love - by springbreak09 (woman) - Mexico (Quintana Roo)
Today, I went out to dinner with my family. I was given a kids menu when the hostess sat us down. I'm 24. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28142) - you totally deserved it (1435)
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