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FMLs submitted from Malta

Today, after a dental appointment, my lips were numb. On the bus on my way back home, the cutest girl smiled at me. In attempt to smile back, I forgot my lips were numb and ended up spitting my chewing gum at her. I had to switch buses. FML

#21112602
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42434) - you deserved it (5365)

On 04/14/2014 at 6:12am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Malta

Today, I noticed that my new colleague never laughs. Instead she says, "LOL". I have to work with her every day. FML

#20884887
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38135) - you deserved it (2575)

On 09/17/2013 at 4:26am - work - by Jienaf (man) - Malta

Today, I found my elderly neighbour on all fours in my garden eating my flowers. FML

#20836671
111 comments

Today, as an introduction to the history of China, I asked my APA World History class to write a 500 word essay on a historical Chinese person. Out of a class of 18, five of them were about Mulan. FML

#20102571
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20682) - you deserved it (4371)

On 10/05/2012 at 5:47am - work - by desperate (woman) - Malta

Today, I was trying to give my girlfriend an orgasm. While doing so she was lying on her back. I asked her: "How do you like that, baby?". She responded by asking where I bought the false ceiling and spotlights as she thought it would look good in her flat. She got bored instead of excited. FML

#4286858
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35239) - you deserved it (16170)

On 08/04/2009 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by Hopelesslover (man) - Malta

Today, on my way to work I stopped at a winery and spent around $120 on 2 bottles of wine for my boss, since it was his birthday. When I gave him the gift, in exchange he let me know I am being laid off - his consolation was "if you can afford this wine I'm sure you'll be OK". FML

#4103209
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47020) - you deserved it (3703)

On 07/28/2009 at 8:27am - work - by JobHunter (man) - Malta

Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML

#527563
371 comments

I agree, your life sucks (172513) - you deserved it (30293)

On 03/22/2009 at 9:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Malta

Today, I am down to 3 euros. My mother just stole the last two euros from me. I asked what she needed them for? Condoms. My mother can have safe sex. I can't buy lunch tomorrow. FML

#1998
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28463) - you deserved it (1657)

On 01/21/2009 at 6:22am - intimacy - by theDiva - Malta



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