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FMLs submitted from Malta

Today, my sister punched me in the face. My dad was actually annoyed with me when I told him. He said I'll never be a "real man" if I can't take a hit from a girl. FML

#21525128
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15306) - you deserved it (2557)

On 02/11/2016 at 10:44am - misc - by J (man) - Malta

Today, I came across the word "pegging". Not knowing what it meant, I googled it and got a very graphic explanation. Seconds later, I realised that the webpage URL actually included the sexual nature of the meaning. The IT department have logs of every page we visit. FML

#21471776
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21742) - you deserved it (7386)

On 09/23/2015 at 8:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Malta

Today, I screamed like a little girl and scrambled to climb atop the toilet seat when I saw a cockroach running around our bathroom. My 5-year-old nephew came in, slapped it to death and said not to be scared, because he'll always protect me. FML

#21458825
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25427) - you deserved it (6718)

On 08/21/2015 at 11:25am - kids - by MyBallsForSaleOnEbay (man) - Malta

Today, I was feeling terrible so I called in sick to work. My boss refused to believe me and told me he'd fire me if I didn't come in. I dragged myself to work, only to spend most of the day glued to the toilet. Now he says I won't be paid for the day because I barely did any work. FML

#21364599
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35114) - you deserved it (2585)

On 02/27/2015 at 1:24pm - health - by Mark (man) - Malta

Today, I got really anxious thinking I was going to piss off the guy behind me by not moving off at a stop light fast enough. It got so bad that I had a panic attack right there in my car. FML

#21361075
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28331) - you deserved it (6756)

On 02/22/2015 at 1:52pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Malta

Today, I finally got a restraining order against my violent ex. My mom now keeps finding ways to tell me how shitty I am for breaking the "poor boy's" heart and how I didn't deserve him anyway. FML

#21331330
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36131) - you deserved it (2660)

On 01/05/2015 at 1:52pm - misc - by help (woman) - Malta

Today, after a dental appointment, my lips were numb. On the bus on my way back home, the cutest girl smiled at me. In attempt to smile back, I forgot my lips were numb and ended up spitting my chewing gum at her. I had to switch buses. FML

#21112602
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45548) - you deserved it (5737)

On 04/14/2014 at 6:12am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Malta

Today, I noticed that my new colleague never laughs. Instead she says, "LOL". I have to work with her every day. FML

#20884887
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41552) - you deserved it (2835)

On 09/17/2013 at 4:26am - work - by Jienaf (man) - Malta

Today, I found my elderly neighbour on all fours in my garden eating my flowers. FML

#20836671
115 comments

Today, as an introduction to the history of China, I asked my APA World History class to write a 500 word essay on a historical Chinese person. Out of a class of 18, five of them were about Mulan. FML

#20102571
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24316) - you deserved it (4821)

On 10/05/2012 at 5:47am - work - by desperate (woman) - Malta

Today, I was trying to give my girlfriend an orgasm. While doing so she was lying on her back. I asked her: "How do you like that, baby?". She responded by asking where I bought the false ceiling and spotlights as she thought it would look good in her flat. She got bored instead of excited. FML

#4286858
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38990) - you deserved it (17167)

On 08/04/2009 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by Hopelesslover (man) - Malta

Today, on my way to work I stopped at a winery and spent around $120 on 2 bottles of wine for my boss, since it was his birthday. When I gave him the gift, in exchange he let me know I am being laid off - his consolation was "if you can afford this wine I'm sure you'll be OK". FML

#4103209
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51285) - you deserved it (4089)

On 07/28/2009 at 8:27am - work - by JobHunter (man) - Malta

Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML

#527563
386 comments

I agree, your life sucks (190627) - you deserved it (33566)

On 03/22/2009 at 9:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Malta



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