Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Malaysia

Today, trying to be smooth, I slipped the girl I like a piece of paper with my phone number written on it. A while later, she slipped it back to me and left the room. FML

#20083501
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10727) - you deserved it (18269)

On 09/22/2012 at 12:22pm - love - by pimpdaddyX (man) - Malaysia (Selangor)

Today, I was fooling around on Omegle, when I came across a guy who claimed he could suck himself off. I was doubtful, but morbidly curious, so I told him to prove it. Turns out he could. Before I could close the browser window in horror, my dad walked in and got a good look too. FML

#20018573
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12283) - you deserved it (33992)

On 08/13/2012 at 11:06am - intimacy - by didntevenknow (woman) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, my manager called me into his office and spent half an hour screaming at me for granting one of our workers so many religious off-days. Apparently, the name of these "religious observances" actually means something to the effect of "scoring some pussy" in Macedonian. FML

#19909832
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22184) - you deserved it (4103)

On 07/08/2012 at 2:32pm - work - by a4rk (man) - Malaysia (Sarawak)

Today, I started the job of my dreams. Our first marketing meeting was an in-depth analysis of the phrase, "Haters gonna hate, potatoes gonna potate". I have a 5 year contract. FML

#19611170
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20714) - you deserved it (4100)

On 05/12/2012 at 10:36am - work - by picklet (woman) - Malaysia (Negeri Sembilan)

Today, as part of my job as a performer, I had to show off my skills with a switchblade in front of an audience. A kid shot a rubber band at me. I then needed stitches. FML

#18501912
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28718) - you deserved it (2848)

On 12/13/2011 at 9:00am - work - by Anonymous - Malaysia

Today, while in heavy traffic on the highway, a motorcyclist managed to t-bone my car. He picked himself up, glanced at the side of my car, and quickly drove off, all in the space of a few seconds. I just got an expensive paint job on this thing. FML

#17778728
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23513) - you deserved it (2759)

On 09/19/2011 at 4:35am - money - by Anonymous (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I was arrested. The policeman threw me to the ground because I wouldn't answer his questions. This was after he told me I had the "right to remain silent". FML

#17227396
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39449) - you deserved it (8043)

On 07/23/2011 at 6:29am - misc - by tgd4444 (man) - Malaysia (Johor)

Today, I discovered that sea-sickness also applies when making love on my girlfriend's new water bed. FML

#15226088
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41809) - you deserved it (5816)

On 03/07/2011 at 2:28am - intimacy - by dizzy (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, my mom added me on Facebook. She wrote on my wall, for the whole world to see, "Why are you swearing on the internet?! You're grounded". FML

#13273071
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22501) - you deserved it (19932)

On 10/01/2010 at 3:39am - misc - by rosmaizura (woman) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I was trying to apply some toothpaste on my pimple to help dry it out. My mum came from behind and hugged me, making me accidentally apply minty toothpaste into my right eye instead. FML

#13194078
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25390) - you deserved it (4425)

On 09/25/2010 at 10:45am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I downloaded porn and saved it on my desktop. After watching it, I couldn't delete it, and now it is stuck on the desktop. It is a shared computer. FML

#12752465
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9015) - you deserved it (65399)

On 08/26/2010 at 6:09am - intimacy - by fmylife (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I wanted to punish a student for being late. I decided to start a pop quiz before he arrived. I was positive there wasn't enough time for him to finish. He scored full marks and I couldn't say a word. FML

#12693453
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9250) - you deserved it (72038)

On 08/23/2010 at 12:18am - kids - by K_M (man) - Malaysia (Selangor)

Today, someone switched my hairspray with bug spray when I didn't notice. I used it. FML

#10838070
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24511) - you deserved it (6228)

On 05/29/2010 at 9:16am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Malaysia (Selangor)



FML's blog

  • RoSaCe's illustrated FML
  • Back to business! Yep, everyone is back from their vacation, unless you're a rich, childfree, lovin' life-type of person who doesn't go on holiday when everybody else does, and can do whatever they…

Friday 4 September 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: