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FMLs submitted from Malaysia

Today, as part of my job as a performer, I had to show off my skills with a switchblade in front of an audience. A kid shot a rubber band at me. I then needed stitches. FML

#18501912
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27192) - you deserved it (2716)

On 12/13/2011 at 9:00am - work - by Anonymous - Malaysia

Today, while in heavy traffic on the highway, a motorcyclist managed to t-bone my car. He picked himself up, glanced at the side of my car, and quickly drove off, all in the space of a few seconds. I just got an expensive paint job on this thing. FML

#17778728
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21631) - you deserved it (2583)

On 09/19/2011 at 4:35am - money - by Anonymous (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I was arrested. The policeman threw me to the ground because I wouldn't answer his questions. This was after he told me I had the "right to remain silent". FML

#17227396
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36167) - you deserved it (7582)

On 07/23/2011 at 6:29am - misc - by tgd4444 (man) - Malaysia (Johor)

Today, I discovered that sea-sickness also applies when making love on my girlfriend's new water bed. FML

#15226088
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39656) - you deserved it (5601)

On 03/07/2011 at 2:28am - intimacy - by dizzy (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, my mom added me on Facebook. She wrote on my wall, for the whole world to see, "Why are you swearing on the internet?! You're grounded". FML

#13273071
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22342) - you deserved it (19833)

On 10/01/2010 at 3:39am - misc - by rosmaizura (woman) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I was trying to apply some toothpaste on my pimple to help dry it out. My mum came from behind and hugged me, making me accidentally apply minty toothpaste into my right eye instead. FML

#13194078
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22774) - you deserved it (4144)

On 09/25/2010 at 10:45am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I downloaded porn and saved it on my desktop. After watching it, I couldn't delete it, and now it is stuck on the desktop. It is a shared computer. FML

#12752465
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8203) - you deserved it (62308)

On 08/26/2010 at 6:09am - intimacy - by fmylife (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I wanted to punish a student for being late. I decided to start a pop quiz before he arrived. I was positive there wasn't enough time for him to finish. He scored full marks and I couldn't say a word. FML

#12693453
306 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8193) - you deserved it (68171)

On 08/23/2010 at 12:18am - kids - by K_M (man) - Malaysia (Selangor)

Today, someone switched my hairspray with bug spray when I didn't notice. I used it. FML

#10838070
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21876) - you deserved it (5862)

On 05/29/2010 at 9:16am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Malaysia (Selangor)

Today, I signed in my msn messenger. Everyone in my friends list apparently changed their status to 'busy' or 'away' when they saw me online, including my crush. FML

#10289820
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28608) - you deserved it (8783)

On 05/02/2010 at 4:37am - misc - by everyonehatesme (woman) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I wrapped a towel around my waist so I could take a dump while using my laptop. I sat on the toilet seat and let a big load go. Turns out I forgot to unwrap the towel. FML

#9918494
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7869) - you deserved it (63796)

On 04/16/2010 at 8:34am - health - by TowelSmellsNice (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I learnt that if you accidentally sit on a hamster, instead of dying, it bites your testicles. FML

#8742333
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9882) - you deserved it (38367)

On 03/01/2010 at 4:13am - animals - by ItHurtsLIkeHell (man) - Malaysia (Pulau Pinang)

Today, I spilled some milk on my laptop. I was pretty sure it would be fine as it was only a bit of milk. While cleaning the residue, I knocked a whole bucket of water into the insides of the laptop. RIP Macbook. FML

#8120945
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10947) - you deserved it (30496)

On 02/11/2010 at 2:32am - misc - by NC (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)



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