FMLs submitted from Israel

Today, while waiting for my grandmother at the train station, a girl walked out and climbed into my car. When I cleared my throat to tell her of her mistake, she screamed and ran out as if I was a criminal trying to abduct her. FML

by eldar90 / 02/25/2012 at 4:38pm / Israel / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my clothes off in front of my girlfriend for the first time. She made a weird face for a moment, then burst into laughter. She couldn't stop laughing, no matter how hard she tried. FML

by Eddie / 08/07/2011 at 3:43pm / Israel (HaMerkaz) / Intimacy

Today, it's my birthday. Out of loneliness, I went to order some flowers and a cake "for a friend". The guy who delivered it to my house was the same guy from the counter. FML

by anon / 07/26/2011 at 8:01pm / Israel / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband told me that he never washes his hands after using the bathroom because he thinks it's only for "paranoid people". FML

by Anonymous / 07/16/2011 at 8:17pm / Israel (Tel Aviv) / Health

Today, I was propositioned by an incredibly pretty girl. I'm a 24 year old virgin; she's my best mate's girlfriend. She tells him everything when drunk, and he's a black-belt in karate. This could officially be classified as torture. FML

by Junktown / 07/07/2011 at 10:40am / Israel (Tel Aviv) / Love

Today, I'm sat at home alone on a Friday night, watching a documentary online about decomposing elephants. FML

by Anonymous / 06/17/2011 at 9:26pm / Israel / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on a date with a woman. She brought along her stuffed rabbit, and introduced us. FML

by Anonymous / 04/26/2011 at 8:03am / Israel / Miscellaneous

Today, my coworker returned the camera I lent her. After plugging the camera into my PC, I saw a file was still on it. Wanting to make sure I didn't delete something important, I opened it. To my horror, it was a video of my coworker pleasuring herself. She's old enough to be my mother. FML

by Traumatized / 03/05/2011 at 2:57pm / Israel (Tel Aviv) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend refused to have his hair treated against lice, because "men don't have lice". FML

by scratchy / 12/08/2010 at 9:56am / Israel (HaDarom) / Health

Today, was my first day at school. I got kicked out of the class for imitating a monkey. I wasn't imitating a monkey... I was laughing. FML

by Anonymous / 11/16/2010 at 2:17pm / Israel (HaDarom) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was told by my neighbors that my guitar playing sounded a dying cat. FML

by Anonymous / 11/07/2010 at 5:07pm / Israel (Tel Aviv) / Animals

Today, the girl who I was in love with for almost seven years listed me on facebook as her "Brother." FML

by Anonymous / 10/01/2010 at 10:11pm / Israel (Tel Aviv) / Love

Today, I realized that I hadn't seen my video camera in a while. After searching for several minutes in my room, I remembered that I had given it to my dad to hide before our month long trip (so even if someone broke into the house the video camera would be safe). He's forgotten where he hid it. FML

by lostvideo / 08/24/2010 at 3:25am / Israel (Yerushalayim) / Miscellaneous