FMLs submitted from Israel

Today, as I was riding the bus, a lady told her daughter to sit next to me. She looked at me and started to scream and cry in horror. FML

by AmihayG / 03/27/2012 at 12:32pm / Israel / Transportation

Today, while waiting for my grandmother at the train station, a girl walked out and climbed into my car. When I cleared my throat to tell her of her mistake, she screamed and ran out as if I was a criminal trying to abduct her. FML

by eldar90 / 02/25/2012 at 4:38pm / Israel / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my clothes off in front of my girlfriend for the first time. She made a weird face for a moment, then burst into laughter. She couldn't stop laughing, no matter how hard she tried. FML

by Eddie / 08/07/2011 at 3:43pm / Israel (HaMerkaz) / Intimacy

Today, it's my birthday. Out of loneliness, I went to order some flowers and a cake "for a friend". The guy who delivered it to my house was the same guy from the counter. FML

by anon / 07/26/2011 at 8:01pm / Israel / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband told me that he never washes his hands after using the bathroom because he thinks it's only for "paranoid people". FML

by Anonymous / 07/16/2011 at 8:17pm / Israel (Tel Aviv) / Health

Today, I was propositioned by an incredibly pretty girl. I'm a 24 year old virgin; she's my best mate's girlfriend. She tells him everything when drunk, and he's a black-belt in karate. This could officially be classified as torture. FML

by Junktown / 07/07/2011 at 10:40am / Israel (Tel Aviv) / Love

Today, I'm sat at home alone on a Friday night, watching a documentary online about decomposing elephants. FML

by Anonymous / 06/17/2011 at 9:26pm / Israel / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on a date with a woman. She brought along her stuffed rabbit, and introduced us. FML

by Anonymous / 04/26/2011 at 8:03am / Israel / Miscellaneous

Today, my coworker returned the camera I lent her. After plugging the camera into my PC, I saw a file was still on it. Wanting to make sure I didn't delete something important, I opened it. To my horror, it was a video of my coworker pleasuring herself. She's old enough to be my mother. FML

by Traumatized / 03/05/2011 at 2:57pm / Israel (Tel Aviv) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend refused to have his hair treated against lice, because "men don't have lice". FML

by scratchy / 12/08/2010 at 9:56am / Israel (HaDarom) / Health

Today, was my first day at school. I got kicked out of the class for imitating a monkey. I wasn't imitating a monkey... I was laughing. FML

by Anonymous / 11/16/2010 at 2:17pm / Israel (HaDarom) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was told by my neighbors that my guitar playing sounded a dying cat. FML

by Anonymous / 11/07/2010 at 5:07pm / Israel (Tel Aviv) / Animals

Today, the girl who I was in love with for almost seven years listed me on facebook as her "Brother." FML

by Anonymous / 10/01/2010 at 10:11pm / Israel (Tel Aviv) / Love