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FMLs submitted from Israel

Today, my mom told me that she doesn't want me to help any of my friends get a job at the restaurant I work at. Apparently, she thinks that they would do a better job than me and get me fired. FML

#9181946
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17538) - you deserved it (2918)

On 03/18/2010 at 7:15am - work - by son (man) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, after months of searching I finally got a job interview. Too bad I didn't have enough money to buy a bus ticket to get there. FML

#8612009
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19223) - you deserved it (2827)

On 02/24/2010 at 9:20am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, I finally removed my car insurance after realizing it costs too much money. Since I then had more money, I went to celebrate with ice cream. On the way, I got hit by a truck. FML

#7845593
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7673) - you deserved it (36648)

On 02/03/2010 at 12:44pm - money - by jk2010 (man) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, I wanted to remove my mustache hair with hot wax. The hair is still there, but my skin is all burnt dark brown. Tomorrow is my first day at school. FML

#7378045
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16594) - you deserved it (8194)

On 01/16/2010 at 1:16pm - misc - by queenofdeath - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, I went to an amusement park with my family. A couple of cute girls started talking to me, telling me how much they liked my dreads. Seeing this, my mother stepped up next to me, patted me on the shoulder, and said, "This here is my little baby, treat him nicely!" Thanks, Mom. FML

#7358643
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21335) - you deserved it (2902)

On 01/15/2010 at 2:37pm - misc - by Dreadge (man) - Israel (Hefa)

Today, my crush of over a year came over for me to take her on our first date. Today was also the day my drunk parents decided to dance the chicken dance in our front yard, naked. FML

#7278276
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28195) - you deserved it (2392)

On 01/11/2010 at 1:12pm - love - by JK2010 (man) - Israel (Hefa)

Today, we had a hike at my camp. We hiked in a line. I suddenly felt things hitting me at the back of the head. After a few minutes I finally turn around, only to discover a bunch of older guys throwing tampons at my head. They were my tampons, falling one by one out of my unzipped bag. FML

#4212486
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30701) - you deserved it (6882)

On 08/01/2009 at 7:13pm - misc - by Rachel247 (woman) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, I woke up late. My grandparents had slept over the night before but they usually left early. I heard someone in the kitchen and thinking it was my brother, I said "Thank god, the geriatric crew is FINALLY gone." My grandma responds, "No we're not." FML

#3307741
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4667) - you deserved it (51207)

On 06/28/2009 at 2:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, I was woken up by a funky smell. My dog had eaten a dead bird and thrown up all over my bed and floor. At 4 o'clock in the morning I had to clean up regurgitated bits of bird, feathers, blood and dog food. The smell still hasn't gone away. FML

#2906688
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39216) - you deserved it (357)

On 06/15/2009 at 6:07am - animals - by Tom (man) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, I found out that my extremely-flat chested cousin recently got a boob job. When my mom found out, she said "Oh that's great! They look so good!". Then she looks at me and tells me that I should get one. Everyone including my own mother thinks I should get a boob job. FML

#2795641
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43341) - you deserved it (3859)

On 06/11/2009 at 5:09am - misc - by strawberrykiwi62 (woman) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, I got an "Enlarge your penis" email for the millionth time. I was about to dismiss it when I saw the FW: from my wife. FML

#2527360
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76305) - you deserved it (5456)

On 06/02/2009 at 8:19am - intimacy - by Ariel (man) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, I was eating at a restaurant patio with a few friends. After the waitress cleaned up our table there was a drop of mayonnaise on the table. I wiped it with my finger and licked it. It wasn’t mayo, it was bird shit. FML

#1712833
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24403) - you deserved it (103103)

On 05/07/2009 at 7:36am - animals - by MJ3105 (man) - Israel

Today, I was on a bus and a man was feeling up my butt. I was just about to step on his foot when the bus stopped and he slipped out. Only then did I realize he'd stolen my wallet. FML

#1315045
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39660) - you deserved it (10447)

On 04/25/2009 at 7:50am - money - by Nicked (woman) - Israel



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