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FMLs submitted from Israel

Today, I finally felt ready for intimacy with my boyfriend, and I sent him a sexy picture of myself topless. He texted back, "Ewwwww." FML

#21232655
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40463) - you deserved it (6500)

On 08/08/2014 at 5:05pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Israel

Today, I went bowling with my girlfriend, her sister and her brother-in-law, and her niece. After 10 rounds, I came in last place. Her niece is 3 years old. She got twice as many points as me. FML

#21189057
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35886) - you deserved it (10763)

On 06/26/2014 at 10:58am - misc - by DF (man) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I was sad, but the only thing my mom could say was, "You should have waited until I got him to mow the lawn." FML

#21083870
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38882) - you deserved it (5769)

On 03/11/2014 at 9:04am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Israel

Today, I asked my lazy daughter to go make her bed. She responded by lighting our garbage bin on fire. FML

#21001381
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39223) - you deserved it (9306)

On 12/22/2013 at 2:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Israel

Today, I googled myself in preparation for my upcoming job interview. Turns out there's a girl on Twitter with my name and age who tweets nonstop about getting wasted and being on probation. She won't make her profile private. FML

#20944947
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43789) - you deserved it (3125)

On 11/04/2013 at 7:08am - work - by twitterfailsme (woman) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, my family got together for a big game of paintball. My grandpa wanted to play too, but I told him he was a bit too old for such a rough sport. He joined anyway, and spent the whole 2 hours hunting my dumb ass down. I'm now in constant pain after being riddled with paintballs. FML

#20941762
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21381) - you deserved it (50148)

On 11/01/2013 at 7:55pm - health - by nl4 (man) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, I was showing my 6-year-old son how easy and safe it is to ride a bike. I didn't notice a pebble, bust up my leg and my son is now terrified of bicycles. FML

#20897147
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33372) - you deserved it (5456)

On 09/26/2013 at 6:56pm - kids - by NoBikesForYou (man) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has been cheating on me with two different guys. Her incredibly moving excuse was that she was getting "more experience" so she could please me better. FML

#20576526
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40828) - you deserved it (3375)

On 04/05/2013 at 6:58pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, I downloaded a movie that I already own on DVD, because I was feeling too lazy to get up and fetch it from the living room. I think I've hit rock bottom. FML

#20516729
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10034) - you deserved it (44932) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/21/2013 at 7:16pm - misc - by lolo - Israel (HaDarom)

Today, I was playing Slender, when I caught a glimpse of the Slenderman. I jumped in my chair, letting rip a huge fart in the process. Nobody heard it, but only because my shrieks of terror drowned out the sound. FML

#20498426
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21469) - you deserved it (8381)

On 02/08/2013 at 4:59pm - misc - by theydidsmellitthough (man) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, at my cousin's birthday party, my grandma took me to one side, slipped me a pad, and started ranting that tampons "steal your virginity" and that I should never use them. Well, okay then. FML

#20481357
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27002) - you deserved it (2062)

On 01/27/2013 at 2:08pm - misc - by dynah114 (woman) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, my dad made a voodoo doll out of a melon. This seems to happen a lot. FML

#20449532
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20831) - you deserved it (2344)

On 01/09/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous - Israel

Today, I bought my son a nice car for his 18th birthday. When I gave it to him, he just got mad and told me that if I really wanted to spend that much money on him, I should've used it to help him pay for college. FML

#20192045
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14729) - you deserved it (48553)

On 12/05/2012 at 6:27am - kids - by Anonymous - Israel



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