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FMLs submitted from Ireland

Today, when I returned from holiday, I discovered my best friend taught my parrot dirty phrases for fun. I can't get her to shut up and my little niece and nephew are coming over in three days. FML

#12312457
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27212) - you deserved it (4169)

On 08/04/2010 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by stuckonrepeat (man) - Ireland (Cork)

Today, my boyfriend showed me how he gives himself a semi-erection before he goes into the men's showers after training so his penis will look bigger in front of all the guys. I find it worrying that he won't have sex with me, but has no problem walking around in front of men naked with a semi. FML

#11968011
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34461) - you deserved it (4135)

On 07/18/2010 at 7:26pm - intimacy - by 4fucksake (woman) - Ireland (Sligo)

Today, I got my eyebrow pierced. When I got home to show my family, my little sister said, "That's so fake!" and tore it off my face. FML

#11470870
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53662) - you deserved it (9964)

On 06/26/2010 at 6:31am - health - by the_pheasant66 - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I bought an apartment over what I have just learned to be an Irish folk music store. FML

#11008836
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13014) - you deserved it (30192)

On 06/06/2010 at 12:00pm - love - by CrazzY88s - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I was getting ready for my first day at work. Right before leaving the house I decided to brush my teeth thoroughly one more time to have a fresh breath. While cleaning my tongue I went too far which made me throw up. I was 20 min late for my work. Good start. FML

#10962219
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11605) - you deserved it (24718)

On 06/04/2010 at 5:28am - work - by Sergie - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I told my boyfriend that my period was now over three weeks late. He still doesn't believe me since it's April Fool's day. But I'm not kidding. FML

#9544188
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33518) - you deserved it (7600)

On 04/01/2010 at 4:28am - health - by worried (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, the passport office informed me I won't get my passport in time to go on holidays. However, they took the money for the passport out of my account 2 months ago, causing me to go overdrawn, and not pay my travel insurance. The same insurance I needed to get the cost of the holiday back. FML

#9350215
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26973) - you deserved it (4332)

On 03/24/2010 at 8:11am - misc - by Clauric (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I realised I spend more time and receive more satisfaction talking on the phone with Chinese take away than talking to my wife in person. FML

#9102877
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10130) - you deserved it (19759)

On 03/15/2010 at 1:38pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland

Today, I saw my crush standing at the bus stop. I did the "I'm talking to someone on the phone thing," trying to be cool. Halfway through the conversation my phone actually rang, I quickly answered but it was my mom on loudspeaker yelling, "Did you bring your tampons?" FML

#8472938
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9732) - you deserved it (35040)

On 02/20/2010 at 8:58am - misc - by Rach (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, while in bed with my game obsessed girlfriend, she told me I was a "noob" in bed. FML

#8455591
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18670) - you deserved it (5932)

On 02/19/2010 at 8:47pm - intimacy - by anonymous - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, the only guy showing slightly any interest in me is a Nazi-obsessed psychopath. He uses lovely pick-up lines such as, "Hey, do you know how much it hurts to staple your hand?" FML

#8368269
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25280) - you deserved it (2395)

On 02/17/2010 at 5:49am - love - by LoveDrug (woman) - Ireland

Today, I jumped into a pile of snow which had built up against a wall. Turns out it wasn't snow but a pile of cement covered by an inch of snow. I now have a 3 inch cut along my leg and a sprained wrist from falling. FML

#7277653
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10006) - you deserved it (24663)

On 01/11/2010 at 8:43am - misc - by Chris (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I dressed up, went over to my boyfriend and told him he could do anything he wanted. He said nothing and walked outside. I figured he'd come back in shortly, but when I looked out the window a few minutes later, he was building a snowman. FML

#7239048
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28843) - you deserved it (10451)

On 01/09/2010 at 4:20pm - love - by dollybabe (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)



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