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FMLs submitted from Ireland

Today, after a week of searching, I found my escaped snake. In my umbrella, outside, after opening it over my head. FML

Today, during my second day as a receptionist, every time the phone rang I jumped in shock. My co-workers now already think I'm weird. FML

#17902230
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10141) - you deserved it (24210)

On 10/04/2011 at 5:35am - work - by Robyn (woman) - Ireland

Today, I started my shift as a cop, patrolling the streets on a bicycle. Everywhere I went, gangs of youths yelled stuff out at me, like "Bike twat", "Pig on wheels", "That's a girl's bike you muppet" and "Go on wanker, do a wheelie." FML

#17607153
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29137) - you deserved it (8021)

On 08/28/2011 at 6:37pm - work - by Andrew - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I found out that my German wasn't as great as I thought it was. Trying to give directions to some German tourists, I tried to say, "I hope I don't get you lost." Turns out I actually said something closer to, "I hope I don't seduce you." FML

#17388195
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23520) - you deserved it (5654)

On 08/06/2011 at 3:10pm - misc - by lostforwords (woman) - Ireland (Tipperary)

Today, I went on a date with a seemingly nice guy I met online. He was drunk when I got there. Within the first 10 minutes, he had told me I was "like Hitler but with boobs", and I was "offensive to the ninja community." Then he said I just wasn't all he had hoped for and left. FML

#17255469
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31803) - you deserved it (7489)

On 07/25/2011 at 3:24pm - misc - by ninja_blasphemer (woman) - Ireland (Wexford)

Today, I accidentally deep throated a fork. FML

#17150480
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18678) - you deserved it (36594)

On 07/17/2011 at 3:15pm - intimacy - by CaoiiBieber - Ireland

Today, as I passed my fiancé the pancakes I had just made, he vocalised his happiness with a groan that was EXACTLY like the one he makes when we have sex. So on a sexiness rating, I'm a pancake. FML

#16830910
361 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35693) - you deserved it (9786)

On 06/24/2011 at 6:45am - intimacy - by Eve (woman) - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I made the long drive to work, got out of the car, and realised that I'd forgotten to put shoes on before I left the house. FML

#16715265
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14872) - you deserved it (29895)

On 06/17/2011 at 5:24pm - misc - by Hannah - Ireland (Sligo)

Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML

#16205540
347 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63588) - you deserved it (9890)

On 05/16/2011 at 12:33pm - health - by Bobby M - Ireland (Carlow)

Today, after I moved into my college dorm three days ago, my roommate is still convinced that she is a cat. FML

#16099079
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27522) - you deserved it (3311)

On 05/08/2011 at 11:22pm - animals - by SMCHR (woman) - Ireland

Today, I was getting funny looks all day. When I got home I realised that I was interrupted while doing my make-up this morning and completely forgot to fill in my second eye brow. FML

#16046636
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15643) - you deserved it (25088)

On 05/04/2011 at 5:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I organised a romantic day trip for me and my boyfriend to some tropical gardens. I packed lunch and paid for the tickets. He decided to bring a friend, who doesn't speak English. The only thing that he said that I understood was that "Your girlfriend eats a lot." FML

#15916625
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28017) - you deserved it (4102)

On 04/25/2011 at 5:20am - misc - by Anonymous - Ireland (Cork)

Today, my friend and I were bouncing around on a trampoline. We brought my dog up to bounce him around. We found it hilarious. He didn't. He attacked us. FML

#15844364
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9515) - you deserved it (78020)

On 04/19/2011 at 6:03am - animals - by sore (woman) - Ireland (Limerick)



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