Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Ireland

Today, after moving into my new house, I agreed to let my house mates have a house warming on the condition it be a small one, as I have exams all day that day and one that I can't fail on the very next morning. The facebook event guest list now has 100+ confirmed guests. FML

#12418259
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12839) - you deserved it (22042)

On 08/09/2010 at 8:33pm - misc - by mitsuko045 (woman) - Ireland (Mayo)

Today, when I returned from holiday, I discovered my best friend taught my parrot dirty phrases for fun. I can't get her to shut up and my little niece and nephew are coming over in three days. FML

#12312457
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27086) - you deserved it (4155)

On 08/04/2010 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by stuckonrepeat (man) - Ireland (Cork)

Today, my boyfriend showed me how he gives himself a semi-erection before he goes into the men's showers after training so his penis will look bigger in front of all the guys. I find it worrying that he won't have sex with me, but has no problem walking around in front of men naked with a semi. FML

#11968011
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34188) - you deserved it (4118)

On 07/18/2010 at 7:26pm - intimacy - by 4fucksake (woman) - Ireland (Sligo)

Today, I got my eyebrow pierced. When I got home to show my family, my little sister said, "That's so fake!" and tore it off my face. FML

#11470870
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53480) - you deserved it (9949)

On 06/26/2010 at 6:31am - health - by the_pheasant66 - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I bought an apartment over what I have just learned to be an Irish folk music store. FML

#11008836
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12961) - you deserved it (30078)

On 06/06/2010 at 12:00pm - love - by CrazzY88s - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I was getting ready for my first day at work. Right before leaving the house I decided to brush my teeth thoroughly one more time to have a fresh breath. While cleaning my tongue I went too far which made me throw up. I was 20 min late for my work. Good start. FML

#10962219
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11303) - you deserved it (24305)

On 06/04/2010 at 5:28am - work - by Sergie - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I told my boyfriend that my period was now over three weeks late. He still doesn't believe me since it's April Fool's day. But I'm not kidding. FML

#9544188
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33345) - you deserved it (7587)

On 04/01/2010 at 4:28am - health - by worried (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, the passport office informed me I won't get my passport in time to go on holidays. However, they took the money for the passport out of my account 2 months ago, causing me to go overdrawn, and not pay my travel insurance. The same insurance I needed to get the cost of the holiday back. FML

#9350215
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26057) - you deserved it (4241)

On 03/24/2010 at 8:11am - misc - by Clauric (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I realised I spend more time and receive more satisfaction talking on the phone with Chinese take away than talking to my wife in person. FML

#9102877
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10071) - you deserved it (19665)

On 03/15/2010 at 1:38pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland

Today, I saw my crush standing at the bus stop. I did the "I'm talking to someone on the phone thing," trying to be cool. Halfway through the conversation my phone actually rang, I quickly answered but it was my mom on loudspeaker yelling, "Did you bring your tampons?" FML

#8472938
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9680) - you deserved it (34878)

On 02/20/2010 at 8:58am - misc - by Rach (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, while in bed with my game obsessed girlfriend, she told me I was a "noob" in bed. FML

#8455591
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17758) - you deserved it (5746)

On 02/19/2010 at 8:47pm - intimacy - by anonymous - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, the only guy showing slightly any interest in me is a Nazi-obsessed psychopath. He uses lovely pick-up lines such as, "Hey, do you know how much it hurts to staple your hand?" FML

#8368269
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25128) - you deserved it (2389)

On 02/17/2010 at 5:49am - love - by LoveDrug (woman) - Ireland

Today, I jumped into a pile of snow which had built up against a wall. Turns out it wasn't snow but a pile of cement covered by an inch of snow. I now have a 3 inch cut along my leg and a sprained wrist from falling. FML

#7277653
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9943) - you deserved it (24544)

On 01/11/2010 at 8:43am - misc - by Chris (man) - Ireland (Dublin)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: