Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Ireland

Today, I came home crying and informed my mother that someone had called me a 'fat bitch' today. She held me at arms length, looked me straight in the eyes, and lovingly said, "You can't change who you are." FML

#18030878
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34233) - you deserved it (6334)

On 10/20/2011 at 12:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - Ireland (Meath)

Today, after a week of searching, I found my escaped snake. In my umbrella, outside, after opening it over my head. FML

Today, during my second day as a receptionist, every time the phone rang I jumped in shock. My co-workers now already think I'm weird. FML

#17902230
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10150) - you deserved it (24226)

On 10/04/2011 at 5:35am - work - by Robyn (woman) - Ireland

Today, I started my shift as a cop, patrolling the streets on a bicycle. Everywhere I went, gangs of youths yelled stuff out at me, like "Bike twat", "Pig on wheels", "That's a girl's bike you muppet" and "Go on wanker, do a wheelie." FML

#17607153
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30561) - you deserved it (8212)

On 08/28/2011 at 6:37pm - work - by Andrew - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I found out that my German wasn't as great as I thought it was. Trying to give directions to some German tourists, I tried to say, "I hope I don't get you lost." Turns out I actually said something closer to, "I hope I don't seduce you." FML

#17388195
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23538) - you deserved it (5655)

On 08/06/2011 at 3:10pm - misc - by lostforwords (woman) - Ireland (Tipperary)

Today, I went on a date with a seemingly nice guy I met online. He was drunk when I got there. Within the first 10 minutes, he had told me I was "like Hitler but with boobs", and I was "offensive to the ninja community." Then he said I just wasn't all he had hoped for and left. FML

#17255469
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32382) - you deserved it (7547)

On 07/25/2011 at 3:24pm - misc - by ninja_blasphemer (woman) - Ireland (Wexford)

Today, I accidentally deep throated a fork. FML

#17150480
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18811) - you deserved it (36812)

On 07/17/2011 at 3:15pm - intimacy - by CaoiiBieber - Ireland

Today, as I passed my fiancé the pancakes I had just made, he vocalised his happiness with a groan that was EXACTLY like the one he makes when we have sex. So on a sexiness rating, I'm a pancake. FML

#16830910
361 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38441) - you deserved it (10175)

On 06/24/2011 at 6:45am - intimacy - by Eve (woman) - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I made the long drive to work, got out of the car, and realised that I'd forgotten to put shoes on before I left the house. FML

#16715265
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15888) - you deserved it (31546)

On 06/17/2011 at 5:24pm - misc - by Hannah - Ireland (Sligo)

Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML

#16205540
347 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65494) - you deserved it (10131)

On 05/16/2011 at 12:33pm - health - by Bobby M - Ireland (Carlow)

Today, after I moved into my college dorm three days ago, my roommate is still convinced that she is a cat. FML

#16099079
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27535) - you deserved it (3314)

On 05/08/2011 at 11:22pm - animals - by SMCHR (woman) - Ireland

Today, I was getting funny looks all day. When I got home I realised that I was interrupted while doing my make-up this morning and completely forgot to fill in my second eye brow. FML

#16046636
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16545) - you deserved it (26601)

On 05/04/2011 at 5:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I organised a romantic day trip for me and my boyfriend to some tropical gardens. I packed lunch and paid for the tickets. He decided to bring a friend, who doesn't speak English. The only thing that he said that I understood was that "Your girlfriend eats a lot." FML

#15916625
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28040) - you deserved it (4103)

On 04/25/2011 at 5:20am - misc - by Anonymous - Ireland (Cork)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: