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FMLs submitted from Ireland

Today, I turned on the news to see a live report about an increase in crime in my town. One minute in, my drunk daughter appears behind the news reporter, butt naked, dancing. FML

#18845928
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38891) - you deserved it (6188)

On 01/18/2012 at 5:30pm - misc - by MakesMeLol (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I texted a friend offering my condolences over the death of his grandfather. He hadn't been told his grandfather had died yet. FML

#18569083
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30786) - you deserved it (3982)

On 12/21/2011 at 9:40am - misc - by cmolloy - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I stepped in a pile of dog shit. While trying to get it off by wiping my foot on the grass, I stepped in another pile. FML

#18209782
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30581) - you deserved it (7077)

On 11/10/2011 at 12:07pm - animals - by Anonymous - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I came home crying and informed my mother that someone had called me a 'fat bitch' today. She held me at arms length, looked me straight in the eyes, and lovingly said, "You can't change who you are." FML

#18030878
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31944) - you deserved it (6043)

On 10/20/2011 at 12:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - Ireland (Meath)

Today, after a week of searching, I found my escaped snake. In my umbrella, outside, after opening it over my head. FML

Today, during my second day as a receptionist, every time the phone rang I jumped in shock. My co-workers now already think I'm weird. FML

#17902230
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10112) - you deserved it (24124)

On 10/04/2011 at 5:35am - work - by Robyn (woman) - Ireland

Today, I started my shift as a cop, patrolling the streets on a bicycle. Everywhere I went, gangs of youths yelled stuff out at me, like "Bike twat", "Pig on wheels", "That's a girl's bike you muppet" and "Go on wanker, do a wheelie." FML

#17607153
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29024) - you deserved it (8009)

On 08/28/2011 at 6:37pm - work - by Andrew - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I found out that my German wasn't as great as I thought it was. Trying to give directions to some German tourists, I tried to say, "I hope I don't get you lost." Turns out I actually said something closer to, "I hope I don't seduce you." FML

#17388195
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23421) - you deserved it (5641)

On 08/06/2011 at 3:10pm - misc - by lostforwords (woman) - Ireland (Tipperary)

Today, I went on a date with a seemingly nice guy I met online. He was drunk when I got there. Within the first 10 minutes, he had told me I was "like Hitler but with boobs", and I was "offensive to the ninja community." Then he said I just wasn't all he had hoped for and left. FML

#17255469
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31420) - you deserved it (7449)

On 07/25/2011 at 3:24pm - misc - by ninja_blasphemer (woman) - Ireland (Wexford)

Today, I accidentally deep throated a fork. FML

#17150480
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17402) - you deserved it (34546)

On 07/17/2011 at 3:15pm - intimacy - by CaoiiBieber - Ireland

Today, as I passed my fiancé the pancakes I had just made, he vocalised his happiness with a groan that was EXACTLY like the one he makes when we have sex. So on a sexiness rating, I'm a pancake. FML

#16830910
358 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35575) - you deserved it (9772)

On 06/24/2011 at 6:45am - intimacy - by Eve (woman) - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I made the long drive to work, got out of the car, and realised that I'd forgotten to put shoes on before I left the house. FML

#16715265
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14818) - you deserved it (29804)

On 06/17/2011 at 5:24pm - misc - by Hannah - Ireland (Sligo)

Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML

#16205540
345 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63452) - you deserved it (9876)

On 05/16/2011 at 12:33pm - health - by Bobby M - Ireland (Carlow)



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