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FMLs submitted from Ireland

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML

#19289453
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21818) - you deserved it (11928)

On 03/16/2012 at 4:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, my 18-year old son decided to run his hand over our wooden fence to try and get a splinter, as he "forgot what they felt like." Last month, he stabbed himself in the arm with a sewing needle because he "forgot what an injection feels like." I raised this idiot. FML

#19159270
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34306) - you deserved it (8096)

On 02/25/2012 at 6:25am - misc - by badmom (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I had to use antiperspirant deodorant under my breasts. FML

#19152897
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24988) - you deserved it (6209)

On 02/24/2012 at 10:05am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, I got bored looking at porn. FML

#18859925
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17141) - you deserved it (35962)

On 01/20/2012 at 5:42am - intimacy - by MyHeadHurts (man) - Ireland

Today, I turned on the news to see a live report about an increase in crime in my town. One minute in, my drunk daughter appears behind the news reporter, butt naked, dancing. FML

#18845928
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38940) - you deserved it (6190)

On 01/18/2012 at 5:30pm - misc - by MakesMeLol (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I texted a friend offering my condolences over the death of his grandfather. He hadn't been told his grandfather had died yet. FML

#18569083
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30830) - you deserved it (3985)

On 12/21/2011 at 9:40am - misc - by cmolloy - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I stepped in a pile of dog shit. While trying to get it off by wiping my foot on the grass, I stepped in another pile. FML

#18209782
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30618) - you deserved it (7080)

On 11/10/2011 at 12:07pm - animals - by Anonymous - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I came home crying and informed my mother that someone had called me a 'fat bitch' today. She held me at arms length, looked me straight in the eyes, and lovingly said, "You can't change who you are." FML

#18030878
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33413) - you deserved it (6237)

On 10/20/2011 at 12:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - Ireland (Meath)

Today, after a week of searching, I found my escaped snake. In my umbrella, outside, after opening it over my head. FML

Today, during my second day as a receptionist, every time the phone rang I jumped in shock. My co-workers now already think I'm weird. FML

#17902230
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10121) - you deserved it (24157)

On 10/04/2011 at 5:35am - work - by Robyn (woman) - Ireland

Today, I started my shift as a cop, patrolling the streets on a bicycle. Everywhere I went, gangs of youths yelled stuff out at me, like "Bike twat", "Pig on wheels", "That's a girl's bike you muppet" and "Go on wanker, do a wheelie." FML

#17607153
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29054) - you deserved it (8010)

On 08/28/2011 at 6:37pm - work - by Andrew - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I found out that my German wasn't as great as I thought it was. Trying to give directions to some German tourists, I tried to say, "I hope I don't get you lost." Turns out I actually said something closer to, "I hope I don't seduce you." FML

#17388195
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23455) - you deserved it (5643)

On 08/06/2011 at 3:10pm - misc - by lostforwords (woman) - Ireland (Tipperary)

Today, I went on a date with a seemingly nice guy I met online. He was drunk when I got there. Within the first 10 minutes, he had told me I was "like Hitler but with boobs", and I was "offensive to the ninja community." Then he said I just wasn't all he had hoped for and left. FML

#17255469
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31458) - you deserved it (7448)

On 07/25/2011 at 3:24pm - misc - by ninja_blasphemer (woman) - Ireland (Wexford)



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