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FMLs submitted from Ireland

Today, I started my shift as a cop, patrolling the streets on a bicycle. Everywhere I went, gangs of youths yelled stuff out at me, like "Bike twat", "Pig on wheels", "That's a girl's bike you muppet" and "Go on wanker, do a wheelie." FML

#17607153
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27518) - you deserved it (7770)

On 08/28/2011 at 6:37pm - work - by Andrew - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I found out that my German wasn't as great as I thought it was. Trying to give directions to some German tourists, I tried to say, "I hope I don't get you lost." Turns out I actually said something closer to, "I hope I don't seduce you." FML

#17388195
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22597) - you deserved it (5542)

On 08/06/2011 at 3:10pm - misc - by lostforwords (woman) - Ireland (Tipperary)

Today, I went on a date with a seemingly nice guy I met online. He was drunk when I got there. Within the first 10 minutes, he had told me I was "like Hitler but with boobs", and I was "offensive to the ninja community." Then he said I just wasn't all he had hoped for and left. FML

#17255469
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29579) - you deserved it (7253)

On 07/25/2011 at 3:24pm - misc - by ninja_blasphemer (woman) - Ireland (Wexford)

Today, I accidentally deep throated a fork. FML

#17150480
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17266) - you deserved it (34353)

On 07/17/2011 at 3:15pm - intimacy - by CaoiiBieber - Ireland

Today, as I passed my fiancé the pancakes I had just made, he vocalised his happiness with a groan that was EXACTLY like the one he makes when we have sex. So on a sexiness rating, I'm a pancake. FML

#16830910
351 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35302) - you deserved it (9734)

On 06/24/2011 at 6:45am - intimacy - by Eve (woman) - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I made the long drive to work, got out of the car, and realised that I'd forgotten to put shoes on before I left the house. FML

#16715265
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14470) - you deserved it (29240)

On 06/17/2011 at 5:24pm - misc - by Hannah - Ireland (Sligo)

Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML

#16205540
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61778) - you deserved it (9665)

On 05/16/2011 at 12:33pm - health - by Bobby M - Ireland (Carlow)

Today, after I moved into my college dorm three days ago, my roommate is still convinced that she is a cat. FML

#16099079
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26804) - you deserved it (3258)

On 05/08/2011 at 11:22pm - animals - by SMCHR (woman) - Ireland

Today, I was getting funny looks all day. When I got home I realised that I was interrupted while doing my make-up this morning and completely forgot to fill in my second eye brow. FML

#16046636
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15107) - you deserved it (24199)

On 05/04/2011 at 5:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I organised a romantic day trip for me and my boyfriend to some tropical gardens. I packed lunch and paid for the tickets. He decided to bring a friend, who doesn't speak English. The only thing that he said that I understood was that "Your girlfriend eats a lot." FML

#15916625
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26795) - you deserved it (3984)

On 04/25/2011 at 5:20am - misc - by Anonymous - Ireland (Cork)

Today, my friend and I were bouncing around on a trampoline. We brought my dog up to bounce him around. We found it hilarious. He didn't. He attacked us. FML

#15844364
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8514) - you deserved it (74266)

On 04/19/2011 at 6:03am - animals - by sore (woman) - Ireland (Limerick)

Today, I heard that one of our customers had passed away. Saddened, I told everyone who came into our shop about his death. Understandably, some customers got very upset and one even fainted. Suddenly, the 'dead' man walked into the shop. Turns out I got the name wrong. FML

#15640936
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10564) - you deserved it (36761)

On 04/04/2011 at 8:17pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Cavan)

Today, I cycled 30 minutes through hail and rain to get my pregnant girlfriend the crisps she was craving. When I made it back, she didn't want them anymore. FML

#15139053
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37224) - you deserved it (7224)

On 02/27/2011 at 12:41pm - love - by Anonymous - Ireland



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