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FMLs submitted from Ireland

Today, I made microwaveable popcorn. When the bag finished popping, I took it out and opened it and put my face in close to get a big whiff. It now feels like I have third degree burns inside my nose and behind my eyes. FML

#19945940
154 comments

Today, my mother met my boyfriend. She thought it would be appropriate to tell him that he looks just like my ex-husband. FML

#19859656
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20381) - you deserved it (2351)

On 06/28/2012 at 8:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, as a romantic gesture, my boyfriend gifted me an origami vagina. FML

#19833560
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24222) - you deserved it (4106)

On 06/23/2012 at 10:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Ireland (Cork)

Today, after having stayed up all night studying, all the coffee I'd drank to keep me awake hit my gut with a vengeance. I ended up missing two exams because I was emptying my bowels into the toilet all morning. FML

#19792230
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17379) - you deserved it (8433)

On 06/15/2012 at 12:41pm - misc - by eminem blows cock (woman) - Ireland (Kerry)

Today, I woke up to a weird feeling on my face. Thinking it was a bug, I slapped at it. It was my freshly-inserted nose ring. FML

#19771673
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8302) - you deserved it (29838)

On 06/11/2012 at 4:44pm - health - by Ciara (woman) - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I found out through Instagram that the guy I'm dating has a wife and two kids. FML

#19760730
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29804) - you deserved it (3675)

On 06/09/2012 at 2:43pm - love - by hailsatan666 (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone, when I accidentally let rip a monstrous fart. He swore at me for being a pig, hung up, and has ignored all my subsequent calls. I try not to date idiots, but it's like I have a big old shithead-attracting magnet attached to me or something. FML

#19720821
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19848) - you deserved it (13162)

On 06/02/2012 at 12:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Carlow)

Today, I was on a rowing machine at the gym, listening to a podcast. Something funny was said, I laughed, lost my balance and fell off, with my feet still stuck in the footrests. Someone had to come and help me off. FML

#19703850
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16112) - you deserved it (4338)

On 05/30/2012 at 10:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I realised that my body has its own masturbation cycle; while I was out shopping, I heard the intro music to my room-mate's favourite video game, and popped an uncontrollable boner. FML

#19693767
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19930) - you deserved it (4927)

On 05/28/2012 at 2:02pm - intimacy - by Danny (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML

#19631928
477 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47322) - you deserved it (4383)

On 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by smart move there (woman) - Ireland (Kildare)

Today, my pet mouse demonstrated that he has bigger balls than my boyfriend, by running across the dinner table and eating off his plate, all while he jumped out of his chair, screaming like a girl. FML

#19592070
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19641) - you deserved it (3952)

On 05/08/2012 at 12:41pm - animals - by gl0b3suck0r (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I decided not to wear any makeup. I got told 13 times at work that I looked ill. FML

#19532627
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24323) - you deserved it (6187)

On 04/26/2012 at 3:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I had a conversation about how Victoria Beckham ate fruit salad for her birthday, as if it was an important subject. FML

#19495086
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6574) - you deserved it (20628)

On 04/19/2012 at 10:14am - misc - by Anonymous - Ireland (Dublin)



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