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FMLs submitted from Ireland

Today, I had to stand next to my wife at the supermarket, beet-red and pretending not to exist; about half an hour into our shopping, she completely lost her shit at the advertising on the loudspeaker, turned to another patron, and screamed into his face to shut the fuck up. FML

#20164356
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16690) - you deserved it (2003)

On 11/15/2012 at 2:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad looked at him and said, "Nice outfit, but it's a little late for Halloween." Before I could intervene, my boyfriend said that joke had been done to death, to which my dad retorted, "Yeah, so has your mum." Instant fistfight. FML

#20144826
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29290) - you deserved it (3002)

On 11/02/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by for fuck sake dad (woman) - Ireland (Limerick)

Today, my aunt brought me a birthday present. I quickly figured out that she'd simply returned the jacket I let her borrow two years ago for my brother's graduation party. It reeks of cigarette smoke and alcohol. FML

#20115007
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18726) - you deserved it (1486)

On 10/13/2012 at 1:32pm - misc - by bubblebuttfuckfart (woman) - Ireland

Today, I finally realized how stupid I am, when I answered a question correctly in class and my teacher started clapping and cheering. FML

#20096827
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19780) - you deserved it (3856)

On 10/01/2012 at 2:24pm - misc - by dumbgirl4lyf (woman) - Ireland (Monaghan)

Today, the iPhone app I downloaded that plays cricket noises during the night, has attracted a horde of actual crickets into my bedroom. FML

#20062154
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13044) - you deserved it (24771)

On 09/07/2012 at 6:32pm - misc - by Gurl - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my dad introduced me to my half-sister. He'd only recently found out that he had another daughter by another woman, and had only just met her. She and I have been in the same class in school for the past three years. FML

#20037883
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24763) - you deserved it (1425)

On 08/23/2012 at 5:40pm - kids - by Anonymous - Ireland (Mayo)

Today, my girlfriend received a scam email about her great uncle dying and leaving her money. She not only believed it, but she also used my credit card details for it. FML

#20014872
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27197) - you deserved it (2704)

On 08/11/2012 at 5:13am - money - by scammerssuck - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to sneak out of work early and pay a little visit to the pub. I ended up staggering home, drunkenly making myself a nacho cheese dorito milkshake with the blender, then promptly puked my guts out all over the kitchen table. FML

#19964691
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4856) - you deserved it (41396)

On 07/20/2012 at 5:38pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Wexford)

Today, I made microwaveable popcorn. When the bag finished popping, I took it out and opened it and put my face in close to get a big whiff. It now feels like I have third degree burns inside my nose and behind my eyes. FML

#19945940
155 comments

Today, my mother met my boyfriend. She thought it would be appropriate to tell him that he looks just like my ex-husband. FML

#19859656
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21554) - you deserved it (2454)

On 06/28/2012 at 8:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, as a romantic gesture, my boyfriend gifted me an origami vagina. FML

#19833560
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26027) - you deserved it (4305)

On 06/23/2012 at 10:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Ireland (Cork)

Today, after having stayed up all night studying, all the coffee I'd drank to keep me awake hit my gut with a vengeance. I ended up missing two exams because I was emptying my bowels into the toilet all morning. FML

#19792230
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19016) - you deserved it (8855)

On 06/15/2012 at 12:41pm - misc - by eminem blows cock (woman) - Ireland (Kerry)

Today, I woke up to a weird feeling on my face. Thinking it was a bug, I slapped at it. It was my freshly-inserted nose ring. FML

#19771673
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8330) - you deserved it (29961)

On 06/11/2012 at 4:44pm - health - by Ciara (woman) - Ireland (Cork)



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